It has been so many years since I joined the Church, and I still don’t know what Jesus is calling me to be, by which road He wishes me to take to Himself, which clothing I should wear for Him: a wedding gown or a vestment, a habit or plain clothes? Should I ask Him for a sign? Yet I fear it would mean I don’t trust Jesus, my Light in this spiritual darkness, and, at the same time, I fear not asking for a sign would mean I don’t trust in Him to teach me what to do.
When I was young, I always knew I wanted to get married and have kids. I think it is a question you have to answer for yourself, what do you want more. You have to give up a lot for the religious life. I knew I was not up to doing that when I was young. Having experienced all that, IF my situation were different now, my choice may be different.
If you are not sure, you may want to wait or see if God sends you some sign. For example, if that special someone does not show up for the next year or two, you may consider that as a sign from God than the clergy is right for you.
It sounds as if you don’t especially want to get married. For me I would have waited longer. A family is what I wanted most and a family is what I got.
It is not bad at all. Sometimes we need help with discernment or an answer.
I never ask for a sign, but I do ask for answers. I have one right now: Which saint should I pick for confirmation? I’m torn between two.
IMO, I don’t think there is anything wrong with asking for something from our Lord, just don’t try and make him a “Santa Clause” god, cause I can tell ya right now He doesn’t go for that.
Every time I have had a sincere need for an answer to a question I have received that answer - especially if it is in prayer. Sometimes I don’t get my answer for YEARS, but I do get it.
I think wcknight has a good point. Put a time limit. I don’t see it as putting a time limit on God, but I do see it as putting a time limit on ourselves. It’s easy to end up procrastinating and pushing off decisions because we don’t necessarily want to see what the actual answer is. Sometimes the answers we get from God aren’t answers we like. Sometimes the answers are quite scary since we cannot always be sure of what the outcome of such an answer is.
Asking God for an answer is putting your faith and trust in God. It is allowing him to be in control of our lives. Just be prepared (and you can ask God for the courage and willingness for this preparedness) for what the answer may be.
Dear Eucharisted speak to him. Our Dear Lord is always listening. He will speak to you.
I don’t think it would be bad to ask for a sign at all. Just like you’d ask your parents for advice, it’s perfectly alright to ask our Heavenly Father for direction.
(1) Don’t ask for a sign, if you already know the answer.
(2) Be careful of what you ask for.
My dear friend
If you do ask for a sign be very patient in waiting for it. It may be years before your prayer is answered sometimes. God does things in His own time. He does them perfectly and has all planned out for us. we often panic and threat and wonder where is God, why won’t He help me, has God abandoned me. And all the while God is in complete control and we never had to worry at all. God sees our whole eternity and is leading us even if we don’t know it. What your doing now is usually Gods will for you. It can change over time. The important thing is to just trust God and try to do His will always. If we do that then all will be well.
I once ask for a sign years ago, like you I’m anxious about which road to choose. I’d ask for a sign that the answer would have a probability of “NO”… if I’m called to become a sister. I’ve deeply thought about it and whatever the outcome of that sign I will follow without doubts. It turns out that the answer was “YES” so as an imperfect soul I doubted it but I never give up the possibility of religious life. I just wait and see right now.
Asking for signs are quite dangerous. I remember very well the advise of a sister I emailed a year ago, that it’s not very wise to ask for a sign every step along the way but rather pray to increase our faith. She said that we should live by faith, instead of asking for signs.
I hope this will help you as this helps me too.
From what I’ve noticed in many of your other posts in these forums, you are very bright and seemingly quite well-versed in your Catholicism. I also see that you have a poor self-concept of yourself (as one of His children). This trait will not be helpful to you as either a husband/father or as a priest. I suspect that were He to send you a sign (which He might have already done), you would constantly question if you were interpreting it as He wanted. My personal opinion (feel totally free to take it or leave it) is that you need to ease up on yourself some and learn Trust and Confidence in Him. I would say to focus on doing that for the next year, without pressuring yourself (or Him). We need to accept ourselves (our broken parts and as His creation) before we can accept others.
I have also seen a seeming maturing of your posts. He is evidently working in you…
Signal graces are one of the 15 promises of the daily rosary.
So, no, there is nothing wrong with asking for a sign. If you ask, and God doesn’t want you to know directly, then he won’t provide the answer. If God wants you to know, He will allow you to understand through a sign. It always works that way.
If God does not provide a meaningful sign to you, and therefore does not want you to know directly what choice to make, then God is allowing you to rely on your inner spiritual resources, and is building your character and faith. In that case, you should simply make a choice. There is a danger of being paralyzed by indecision.
Generally speaking to ask for a sign is considered in bad taste.
Seriously though, if you are unsure. Go and visit a seminary for a few days. To make sure the bases are covered visit a monastary too.
I am stuck in the same mode as you. I’m beginning to take the hint of no job, no car, no house, no girlfriend seriously.
First off I promise to pray for you. Are you sure you have not already received the answer you seek?
I have been asked this question before by young adults and this is the answer I give them…test your call. In discerning your call to the to give yourself 100% to God it takes years (much longer than the 6 months of marital engagment). If you are in anyway feeling called to spiritual marriage then God is asking you to discern that seriously - first. The process will itself answer your soul’s desire to follow God’s will for your vocation. If in the end you are not called to spiritual marraige - you have loss nothing - you have only gained an even deeper relationship with Him and can now go in peace and find your earthly spouse…knowing you had discerned your vocation fully.
God bless your desire to follow Him!
Aside from two locutions over a two year period, which I will not discuss under any circumstances. I had an old and devout Irishman tell me the day of a great uncle’ s funeral, “If you go to Rome, you’ll become a priest.” The voice wasn’t his – it was too strong for his lessened frame. We had been talking about Italy. You see I am half-Italian and have never been there. He and his wife, an elder Italian 2nd cousin of mine, were going on about this and about that and how great the trip they took had been. Then he cornered me, outside, as I was leaving to go home – that is when I heard him say that.
But, people tell me from time to time that I should, but chalk it up to fact that I go to Mass and the people who say it generally do not. Examinations are a nightmare for me, I graduated 2nd to last in my class and took 10 years to earn a college degree failing half of my classes – no joke. I have looked at the Western Province Domincans, looked at Sardinia, of where I have a deep desire live, looked at the Carthusians more than once (Vermont, Argentina, and England), thought about the Cistercians as I like their focus on farming, the Benedictines are too wishy-washy and I’d be afraid of being stuck with an obstacle of a superior, Fransiscans are not my bag, Carmelites are nifty, wouldn’t mind being a parish priest but I realize that half the parish would walk out the day I dismiss the parish council and show them papal bulls and go on about things like ‘without dogma there is no spirituality’.
Out of all of these… the most austere environment by far would be the Carthusians in Vermont – It is coldin the Green Mountains – they are practically uninhabitable from Oct 15th thru May 1st. Austerity isn’t a bother to me.
The thing that troubles me most is that I have a nephew, age 5. And, he doesn’t hardly have a father worth his salt.
I thank you for your prayers.