A couple of weeks ago, I posted this to the prayer request board:
A while ago, I had a relationship end when my boyfriend felt a call to the priesthood. Now, it looks like it might be happening again, with my (serious) current boyfriend feeling a pretty strong attraction to the religious life. It was hard enough the first time- I just can’t wrap my mind around it possibly happening twice!
I’d appreciate prayers for him to discern God’s will and for me to accept and love it.
For more background, he started feeling really attracted to the religious life after spending some time visiting a monastery. He says he thinks he’s to be a monk, but that he doesn’t want to break up. we don’t see or speak to each other very often right now (we’re a little far apart until school starts soon), but, when we do, he’s been pretty distant. He explained to me that he doesn’t feel he can return my affection and, at the same time, be trying to be a monk. That makes a lot of sense to me.
HOWEVER, I’m wondering now whether I should break up with him once school begins and we can talk properly. I love him quite a lot, and I’m worried that I’m a sort of obstacle to his discernment. I suspect that he’s only trying to save my feelings right now, but it might be best to keep things from dragging out. I advised him to start spiritual direction and to ask Father, in particular, what he should do about me. He listened to the first bit of advice, but as to the second, he said “well, I’m sure it’ll come up.”
My question is this: should I continue to leave things on his terms? This is what I want to do, because A) It’s his discernment. B) I naturally prefer to let him sort of “take charge”. He’s generally more prudent, calmer, and more reasonable than I. (especially calmer). C) Well, I don’t want to break up. Even though I’m growing more and more convinced it’s inevitable, I still dread it. Also, I still have a little hope.
On the other hand, it might be more loving to break things off. If he’s hesitation out of fear or reluctance to hurt me, then I don’t want to be the one standing in the way of his obedience to God. What should I do?