Thank you so much, everyone, your responses have all given me much food for thought. I’m so grateful to have found these forums!
This is something that I’ve been struggling with for quite some time, but it’s been brought to a head recently as I am being encouraged to join the choir – which I’d love to do, except that this is precisely where many problems stem from. (For instance, the music director has “changed” certain words of the Creed and says them so loudly that more and more people now say it her way; she also has the choir join in with the priest in singing the per ipsum, and now the congregation also joins in. These examples are just the tip of the iceberg!)
I know both priests at my parish very well; they are both good, kind, holy men. I like both of them very much, and I would be leaving behind many happy memories – I was married at this church, my kids were baptized here, and I did sing in the choir many years ago. I am certain that they would listen carefully to my concerns, but – and I know this sounds strange – I almost feel as if they would not be able to stand up to the strong personality of the music director. It seems that she does things her way, and nobody questions her, period. Worse, though, I don’t think they would want to stand up to her, since they both have some very “liberal” attitudes as well.
I wish I could convince my family to switch with me. However, my mom (whom I love dearly) just loves it there since it’s very “touchy-feely” and “feel-goody;” she refuses to accept that anything is wrong. She absolutely won’t go to a new parish, and I know she would be very upset if I left. My dad completely understands how I feel and has considered switching with me. I don’t think he will, though, without my mom, and I can understand that.
However, all your responses have helped me realize that it is definitely time for me to move on. So many things go on that I can’t bear to watch or listen to, and the Mass shouldn’t be that way. For as long as I have realized how bad things were, I have been offering up my discomfort as penance. But I am ready to go to Mass as it should be. Thank you again for sharing your thoughts!