[quote="m_crane, post:1, topic:211322"]
**** I will be attending an event this weekend where I will see my 18 year old niece.
My niece left home to move in with a 23 year old boyfriend.
At a previous event two months ago, I sat down with my niece and her father and he mentioned that my niece has not been coming home at night. It was revealed that she was sleeping over her boyfriend's house(sleeping with the BF). I told her that this was not a good situation for her and asked her if the boy loved her. Of course, she replied yes. I told her that this is something only married people should do and did she think she would be willing to marry the boy. She said yes. I asked her if the boy would marry her. She said yes. The conversation ended there because it was a busy event that I was hosting. I haven't had a chance to speak with her since. I have spoken to her father and when the situation continued, I advised him to tell her to either to come home at night or find some place else to live. Perhaps this was a bit rash... I think that maybe her father should have delved further into what is really going on here before offering her those two options. Nothing says "Okay so I am moving in with my boyfriend now!" like being told those are the only choices. What was the father and daughter relationship like before this? Is this girl going to school? If she is in college, who is paying for it? Perhaps a reminder that she needs to abide by the rules in order to go to college would have done the trick before resorting to "my way of the highway?" :shrug: If she is as simple as you say, she may not have seen any other options but the obvious, or the easy one to her.So she left.
I still want to help my niece make the right decisions, She is a simple person and in that I mean not very savy or ambitious. Perhaps you could meet with her and just talk. See what is going on in her life that would cause her to think running away every night to stay at her boyfriends was a good choice to begin with. What was her home life like to begin with? Though she was raised Catholic, I don't think she understands even the most basic tenents of the Faith. Being raised in a house with little parental interest in forming her spiritually, she also has a poor moral foundation.It is not too late to "remind her" of what Catholics believe... As her Godmother you can still be a positive Catholic influence on her even if she never was told at home. It is not too late. I'm her Godmother and I want to help her. I pray for her and am doing a penance for her.
My gut tells me that a simple young lady like her would probably be very happy in a marriage to this simple young man but only in the Faith. Should I encourage her to see a priest with the intention to marry in the Church? I think this may be jumping the gun a bit. Have you met this young man? Do you know him at all? What does he want? And regardless of what they want to do down the road, what they are doing now is the problem. If you haven't already, please check out the chastity link at the top of the page and read some of what Jason Evert writes. Encourage your niece to read some it too because he has a way of speaking to young people that is clear, and easy to understand, but definitely Catholic.
May God bless you and guide you as you try to help your niece.