should I feel guilty?


#1

I’m struggling with something.

I sing in the choir at church and for the last year, a couple from the choir has taken me to and from mass. I can’t drive because of a visual impairment. my hubby isn’t catholic and works on sundays. when he’s home, he does take me, but it works better to just have another choir member take me.

here’s the problem. a few months ago, the wife had a cancer relaps. she’s got brain cancer and they’ve given her until the end of the year to live. their son came back from Orlando to live with them and help out. now on sundays, the son takes the his mom to church and the husband comes and picks me up. I feel like I’m intruding on their life together. the reason she doesn’t ride with him is because it takes her longer to get ready because the cancer is affecting her mobility, so it would take too long to wait for her and than come and get me.

should I find another ride to mass? he’s never said anything to me about it being an intrusion. but they are the kind of people who would just give until they fell over. But I can tell that he’s tired and his moral is WAY low.

My husband told me that maybe the little routeen of picking me up is good for him and it will give him a reason to get up and go to church incase his faith starts to suffer. my husband seems to think that if I found another way to church, it might be a sort of insult or slap in the face to him (the man who takes me to church). I can’t help but feel like I should be doing something for them instead of them doing something for me. I Just feel guilty.

any advice? anyone been on either side of a similar situation? how did you handle it?


#2

**I say… get another ride. And if at all possible gather the church around this couple to help them at any time they may need it. Meals, housecleaning, errands, ect… **


I say this for several reasons:
1. Time with our loved ones is always limited. In this case, it’s even more precious. Let them have all the time together they could want while they have it. I feel guilt for any time I took him away frm his wife.
2. Personally, I feel uncomfortable being alone with a man. Now before everyone jumps on me! This has nothing to do with the fellow in question or “proper” or decent behavior. I’m just attached to my own dh and being alone with other men (regardless of age or situation) feels like I’m missing a limb - ackward.
3. Now would be a great chance to repay their kindness in their time of need. If the dh does need to “get away” every now and then (which is understandable) maybe you could offer to sit with his wife while the men go out for a bit?


#3

Great advice!


#4

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