Should I go to a friend's gay-commitment ceremony?


I have a friend that I have had for a decade now.

She was gay when I met her, then became straight, then now is bisexual or whatever, and now she is with this girl. Her upbringing was such that her daddy basically abandoned her and she has issues I think that started all this. She doesnt think so, thats just me.

Anyway - her and this girl have dated for over a year, and they are both very funny, nice, and great people. Well, she told me today that they are engaged (whatever that means) she has a diamond ring. And she is going to maybe get married.

Also, she is talking about now getting artificially inseminated or adopting, etc.

I was very polite, and said the ring was nice. She knows how I feel so there was no need for me to tell her. I want her to be happy, but she knows how I feel. I was very nice and smiled and said the ring was gorgeous - it is by the way :slight_smile: anyway…

I called my other friend, who basically laid into me. She said I wasnt “with the times” (I told her about moral relativism) and she just didnt listen. Anyway the thing that hurt THE MOST was she asked me if my child ended up being gay, I said that I would still love my child, but that I woudlnt support them, just like I wouldnt support them if they did anything else wrong, but that I woudl still love them…

…and she said “well, I feel sorry for your child.” it broke my heart, because I know I’m a good mommy, and it just hit me hard and hurt me really badly.

I asked her, well, ok if your son decided to be a porn star when he grows up would you be ok with that? She said, yah that she would if that is what makes him happy. Ugh.

Anyway - the point is that I’m all upset and need some support. I dont know - if they have some sort of committment ceremony am I supposed to go? I care about this person. I do want her to be happy but I dont agree. On top of all of it, I know that all my other friends WOULD go to a ceremony like that and my absence would be very noticed, and it a lot of my friends (a LOT) would think I’m a horrible person. Should I go? Is there some sort of Catholic law saying I cant go?





You need to find some other friends; friends who share your values. Your friends seem bent on doing whatever will make them happy for awhile—regardless of what God expects. We believe that putting God’s will first in our lives will make us happy for all eternity.

People who don’t put God first in their lives may be “very funny and nice,” but they are NOT great people. Who cares if a LOT of such friends think you are a horrible person because you don’t go to the ceremony? What is important is that you AREN’T a horrible person because you put God first! As I said, you need new friends. Cut them loose! You are in my prayers.

Fr. Vincent Serpa, O.P.

DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions expressed in these forums do not necessarily reflect those of Catholic Answers. For official apologetics resources please visit