Should I go to confession?


#1

So, in the past, I have had scrupulosity and still suffer from it now from time to time although it’s not as bad as it was before. I can think more clearly now and don’t have much trouble with it. Sorry this is a bit long.
However, I have been struggling with whether or not I should go to confession, because I do need to, mostly because of impurity sins I am sure I committed and consented to them but I am afraid my confession won’t be valid because in the past, I have done things that needed financial restitution that I still have not paid it all off since it has been a lot so I have only done what I could, and I have been unemployed for over a year because I went back to school to become an emt and I have been getting the requirements done to finally get a job as an emt and I am almost done. So, I feel like since I took a year off from having a job and I still don’t have a job like I will be delaying restitution on purpose and in order to make a valid confession i will need to get like any job right now while I work as an emt, like a babysitter etc. I don’t know if I have to though or it can wait until I am employed as an emt and well, also that my parents also have done things that need a lot of restitution and they don’t think they need to pay back anything since they think they did not do anything wrong, I am sure they did, it’s not my scrupulosity, but anyways, since they are supporting me financially right now, I feel like my confession will be invalid because I may be cooperating in them not paying restitution for their wrongs because they are helping me. When it comes to cooperating in sin, I have had trouble differentiating whether i am cooperating and doing something wrong.


#2

Lay it at the feet (as it where…) of your confessor.

Let say I steal 500 dollars. And later I repent and intend restitution. And I have to figure out how to do so - and so before I can make it - I go to confession again. I have still have that intent to do the restitution - but I have not yet figured out how - does that mean that confession the next week is invalid? No.

If a person cannot do restitution yet - but intends to do what is required- they can still go to confession. The Priest can guide you…*just bring that up in your confession and your concern. *

If you do not yet have a regular confessor - I would suggest you get one. Do not allow scruples to keep you from Confession.


#3

If you are not able to pay the full restitution now, you can still be validly absolved in the confessional since God doesn’t expect us to do the impossible. You are not an accessory to the sins of your parents by receiving money that could otherwise be used towards restitution. You should ask your confessor about this to help clear up your confusion concerning being an accessory to the sins of others.


#4

Just go and say you are working on the restitution, it will strengthen your resolve not to avoid or forget! Sounds like you are on the right path!


#5

Restitution is a great thing. I wish more people were so concerned about restitution. I would be $30,000 richer today, plus interest, but it seems many take the easy way out and declare bankruptcy.

Usually (and I can’t speak for everyone) someone you should make restitution to is willing to work with you if you are sincere.


#6

See the priest.
He will explain everything in light of your scruples and absolve you.
Holding off on it isn’t going to help anything, and we’re strangers for heaven’s sake.
See you regular confessor.
God bless.


#7

Ah, restitution. Next to impure thoughts, the bane of the scrupulous.

Look, there is a principle that applies to every single human being out there:

No one is bound to do the impossible.

This includes restitution.

As with all things scrupulous, bring it to your confessor, explain the situation. Since you’re opening to him about it and he knows your concerns, he can counsel you appropriately. You will find that there’s more to “restitution” than merely paying stuff back.

And then, as with all things scrupulous:

Obey him unconditionally and do not think about it again.


#8

You need to be careful crafting answers when dealing with the scrupulous.


#9

Ask a good confessor. Do you have an FSSP near you? They are great confessors and are pretty experienced with scrupulous people. I recently went to one because I had a restitution question/issue (like owed over 30,000 talk about problems) and it turns out I had already made restitution in full and over that amount by doing things I already did like tithe to church and the poor. So find someone you think is a holy confessor and ask him what to do


#10

Same here. I had a restitution question (involving a book), which is pretty much impossible to do now. The FSSP confessor said I can donate to charity if it is now impossible, BUT, he also said, and this lifted a great weight from me:

If the book wasn’t particularly expensive, such as a precious book or one made of precious material or of exceeding value, my failure was a venial sin.

That was a relief.


#11

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