I have a problem now… ever since I decided to go to Kingdom Hall w/my DH, I started understanding him a lot better. Ever since Thanksgiving, I stopped going, especially because I am doing a radical sanation on my marriage and I have to get rid of everything that might cause me to leave the faith. However, ever since I stopped going, I wonder what in the world is being fed onto my DH’s head. I had decided to attend w/him so I knew what he’s “learning” there.
After many Catholic bashings, I got fed up, and the last time I went I had to walk out because I couldn’t take their insults any longer. :mad: So, now I’m left in the dark again.
What do you guys think I should do? Should I keep on going with him to hear what he’s being told? Or should I just leave it at peace and forget that he’s a JW and keep on praying he comes back to the CC one day?
Last night he went to his school of theocratic ministry meeting, and I was angry at him for having gone. I am sick w/the flu, so asked him to stay w/me because I really didn’t want to be alone last night, but he still went. All he said was “I never ask you to miss Mass”… ughhh I was so angry I just said that I only go 1 hour or so a week not 5 a week!
So yeah, the whole 2 hours he was gone I felt miserable thinking the whole time “what are they teaching him now?” But in a way I got my way again, while he was gone, I finally had the courage to put up a picture of baby Jesus and 2 marble angels I got from my grandma a while ago, plus a Rosary and a scapular I always used to hang on those angels… I put it off for so long just so it wouldn’t bother him, but I finally decided it was time to do it…
Aside from that, I still wonder if I should go or not to his meetings to keep myself informed…
It is a bit of a pickle, isn’t it. By not going, you give up precious time to spend together with the person you love most but by going you its almost like giving your acceptance to his continued involvement. Its also hard when you feel lonely 2 or more evenings a week while he’s out at meetings.
My first thought is don’t go - radical sanation or not - it is spiitual poison. I can say this because I was in the same situation. I went to appease my spouse. I once thought that I could go incognito and learn everything they do as a means to plant doubts in my spouse.
Everyone at the KH will “love bomb” you and little by little they will put doubts in your mind especially if its mixed in with truth. Sometimes you will feel very sad week after week watching the indoctrination going on especially with the children and old people. Sometimes you will get very mad and feel that you are in an unholy presecence. You’ll see new visitors coming in who may be going through a bad time in their life and you’ll feel sad knowing the indoctrination that will be coming their way at a time they may be spiritually weak. You’ll be made to feel inferior to the elders that are there (especially since you a female) who sometimes may be your same age or younger.
Going to meetings can sometimes make you feel resentment toward your spouse especially if you constantly get asked questions about what your thoughts are on the meetings. Sometimes you’ll get angry and say alot of bad things. Sometimes, you’ll not want to discuss anything because you want to avoid an argument which may turn into an argument itself.
As far as the part of your post about him leaving you while you were sick, I can relate to that as well. Been there, done that, and have the scars to show. I was once bed-ridden for 3 days while wifey went out of state to a convention. When you are indoctrinated, you’re first loyalty is to the organization even over your own family.
Yessisan - don’t go. Be nice to him, continue to respect him and continue to pray for him. But don’t put yourself in the position to be led astray (no matter how strong you think you are). The whole meeting is setup to constantly drill false teaching in your mind - from the songs, to the message, and especially to the Watchtower commentary.
Would it not be easier to just stick a listening device in his suit so you can hear it remotely? Just follow along with the reading material he has to pour over every week and look at his highlighted notations and bingo dont need to go.
Its not like you will be missing any independent thought being spoken there.
You might miss the time or two when the mike goes bannanas and your ears ring for hours as a result.
You really are not missing much. Unless they do another flip flop (and arent they about due for another now)??
I think they are putting the breaks on any new teachings since every time they do it opens up more trouble for them they cant deal with.
I’m not so sure that I’d go. You can always read up on the JW so that you understand them, and hence your husband, better. Instead, you should live your faith with love and perhaps your husband will be convicted by your example to return to the faith.
True… if I go w/him I ight be encouraging him, and I really don’t want that
I’m pretty sure he’d tell me what went on. Maybe I can ask him this. He is pretty open about hearing my POV. Even on that one post about Jehovah meaning “god destroyed”…
:rotfl: listening device… why didn’t I think of that??
Now, seriously… you are right Damascus. All I have to do is read their literature to know what things will be covered during the meetings. He always leaves his books and magazines out when he reads them, so I guess I can pick them up and see what he highlighted…
That’s exactly what I am doing… I’ve been attending Mass and I actually became a Catechist for 1sr graders at my Parish, so on Sundays I go to the class, then to Church. Oh, and once a month I have an 8hr class at a Catechetical Institute to become a certified catechist… so, I hope this shows him something…
I would not go.
With jwism, there is never anything “new”, unless it’s a new date for armageddon. Any day now! :rolleyes:
Since they have so little history, you can read their magazines, which I’m sure you have access to through your DH, or go online to their website.
Just type watchtower in the search engines and watch what comes up.
I understand you being conflicted about this, but everything you never wanted to know about that cult is available without the manipulative “love bombs”.
I used to go with him on and off, but I got tired of their bashing and lame ideas. They have already tried “converting” me but I know enough to not fall for their lies. Just the fact that the CC is 2000+ years old and the WBTS is a bit over 200 is enough for me to see which one has the Truth behind it. No worries, I was just asking this so I knew what lies my husband is being told.
Your poor husband, and my heart breaks for you. He is in the midst of master manipulators who live off recruits from other religions. Ask him, since the Lord commands that we do the Eucharist in ‘memory’ of him, and must ‘eat his flesh and drink his blood to have life’, why would he be ‘denied’ this in the JW. There are serious problems with JW’s. Many that I have come in contact with have extreme anxieties, uncertainty about many things, need ridged structure that does not allow free thought. They crave tightly woven associations, all the things ‘cult like’. I have a ‘Hall’ a half mile from my home. They don’t stop at my home anymore since I go on the ‘offensive’ when they show up, something they are not used to or prepared for. Their ‘founder’ predicated the end of the world so many times they finally gave up on WHEN and just settled for ‘SOON’. It is a cult based on fear of the future and control. Don’t give up on him but don’t go to the hall either. They operate best on their home turf. We’ll pray for you both.
Thanks! You know, the WBTS is a cult with capital “C”. They are completely brainwashed, to the point where most reject associating with people outside their organization. Those who do socialize with others are frowned upon. My Dh was disfellowshipped for being with me (LAME).
As for the Eucharist… they believe the only ones worthy to receive the bread and the wine are those 144,000 who have heavenly hope and not everyone. Sad huh? They don’t believe they are rejecting Christ, they believe they aren’t worthy of that…
And yes… they have serious issues. Anxiety, stress, fear… too many to name.
Those of us who are well doctrinated should try to evangelize them, or at least pray for them so they realize someday that they are trapped in a cult.
If you read Scott Hahn’s book “Rome Sweet Home” you’ll hear him describe the “dark years” of his marriage – the five years or so between his conversion to Catholicism and his wife Kimberly’s conversion.
He gets a very serious and somber tone when he reflects on those years, but each and every day he prayed for Kimberly’s change of heart toward the Church, and eventually he was rewarded.
You’ve got your work cut out for you, God be with you. But out of all the Witnesses to your husband, you’re the BEST!
Just give it God’s time (sometimes a life-time), and keep your chin up. Prayers never go unanswered.
From what I have read here, I would take whatever he is currently “studying” and go through it, find the holes and prepare to confront him on it.
If you dont know what to say Ill bet some ex-JWs around here will know what Scripture to consult. Once you have the verses either write the verse in the footnotes/sidebar of his highlighted material or just openly confront him with the verses.
I went with a friend once to a Hall. And people have told me Mass was boring! It was far too business like. I’ve told my family about it too and it’s hard to describe but the entire feeling I got there was of like silk poison or…I don’t know, caramel filled with venom. The way people spoke, their movements, the air there just made me feel almost sick. I think JW are one of the most dangerous cults out there. I truly belive that Satan is involved heavily in their organization.
I would say don’t go. They know what to say and where to slip in little comments that build over time and help create a lot of doubt. They know not just because of cues they’re taught in the halls, but, IMO, because fallen angels guide them. Read your husband’s tracts (even they gave me the heebie jeebies though) and write in them where they’re wrong, but I would never recommend anybody attending a Kingdom Hall.
For now he hasn’t been reinstated (thank God!) Probably they just said that to fill him w/false hopes. Poor guy, he was so happy when he heard that and it’s been over a month. It’s good though, but he really wishes to be reinstated. I don’t know how someone could want that, but he does. This month is his 1 year anniversary of when he was disfellowshipped. I hope he doesn’t get reinstated. I pray for this almost every night, and every time I go to Church I ask God that He helps my DH come back to the CC. I think that is helping, and your prayers and everyone elses as well.
You know, I sent out a prayer petition to Jerusalem, to the Holy Sepulchre. They were going to pray for all those who sent a prayer request for Christmas day. I hope that helps too. I need all the help I can get.
As far as the monitor… I could probably put that is his portfolio and listen to what they say… :rotfl:
That’s my only hope because sometimes my DH listens to me, but I think the only one that can help me here is God.
I try to ask him what the meetings were about, and he tells me, but I know he knows I’m against all they say. Maybe they have one or two good points here and there, but they are just common sense. I don’t know if I could “confront” him but maybe I could bring them up in a slightly different way.
Mass boring?? Have they been to other churches? The rest are longer services than ours. And if you actually listen in Mass, it’s far from boring. I used to think they were boring a few years back, but now I listen full & open heartedly (is that even a word?). Anyway, KH is boring. Their meetings are long and plain repetition. I mean, all they do is read to you what you have already read at home and just get some opinions, they use Bible verses that don’t even support their views, but according to them they do; they are LONG and usually very male oriented. The women are considered inferior in all senses, and everyone is treated as if they didn’t know anything. They praise them even for the “wrong” answer, but they treat them like “I know more than you do”.
To me, that was the worst in college. Having a class where the professor only read off of what we read for homework. Reminds me of just that, and I used to hate that. It takes my mind away from listening.
As in Mass, well, I know it’s all repetitious because of the way Mass is set up, but it all fits together, then you have the 3 reading and the Homily. I love the Homily. Plus, I can’t wait every Mass to say the Creed and the Our Father. I always long for those two! Jws on the other hand, use their “prayers” in a weird way, they ask for understanding of what they just read… I mean, their literature is actually so easy to read, my 1st grader cousins could understand it…
Either way… I think I might just stay home and read his notes instead of going w/him. I don’t want to be a part of his religion any longer.
Ain’t that the truth - when I got married my wife tried to make me study some book with her about relationships, or family or something like that. I started zoning out on page 2. Then I suggested that we have a study of Dr Laura’s "The Proper Care and Feeding of a Husband - that brought the study to an end.
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