My spouse and I have been having troubles for over a year and we went through Retrouvaille and marriage counseling. All throughout counseling I had to trust that she wasn't having an affair, but things never added up and she protected her cell phone like she was protecting the president. On Friday she rushed out of the house and left her phone and I went through her text messages and found out she was having sex with another guy. I confronted her and she said it was a different guy, so she is sleeping with two different guys. On Saturday, I told her it's time to admit everything because she needs help and a huge fight ensued over her phone (in front of the kids) and she was taken away in handcuffs. A few months ago she was also cited as the aggressor in a domestic disturbance but was not arrested. After she came back from jail she would not deny having affairs, but would not admit them; she would just say now is not the time. She has been begging me not to go for full custody because she loves the children. I think she loves them in a weird way, but her destructive behaviors and alcoholism definitely play into the relationship with the children. All she does is yell at them.
She now says she needs professional help and thinks she may be bipolar. As for me, I'm tired of all the lies, affairs and being made out to be someone who is so insecure with himself that I'm just looking for things. My suspicions were right all along and I can now see her for who she truly is - a horrible wife and mother. She says she will do anything to get well to be with her children, but that is where I'm torn. I don't trust her and I need to get full custody ASAP.
She asked me today if I would go to tomorrow's marriage counseling appointment so that we can talk like adults. I already called the counselor and told her that no progress was ever made because all she did was lie, but the counselor said some progress was made because she admitted that she has severe anger issues and destructive behaviors.
Should I go? I don't really know what we are going to talk about, but I'm assuming its the kids. I'm sorry, but I'm meeting with a lawyer tomorrow to discuss getting emergency full custody and getting her out of the house. Its really sad to see my spouse since she was arrested because she knows that her lifestyle has finally caught up with her and she's about to lose her family. To be honest, I'm expecting her at some point to want to work on the marriage, but its too late for that. I will forgive her and pray for her, but I can't go through life with no joy wondering if I can ever trust her again.
Sorry this is so long, but I'm conflicted because I feel joy and pain. My only focus now is trying to get my children over this second episode of seeing things children should never see. I'm also going to see my parish priest to see if there are any resources or parish lawyers who can help since I'm broke and looking for better employment.