Should I go to my sister's wedding...dont want to

Should I go to my sister’s wedding?

The situation is explained below:
forums.catholic.com/showthread.php?t=521204&highlight=fellowships…ugh%21

I think if I go, my presence may be interpreted as a sign of my approval. That how my sister would interpret it.

However, if I don’t go (which I don’t want to go), it would signal my disapproval, thereby letting my sister know my opinion.

I don’t approve of her betrothal, nor indeed her marriage.
For that reason, I don’t think I should go to her wedding.

I think if she goes through with it (which I hope she doesn’t), but if she does, I think it’s gonna make her life train wreck. Why would she want to do that for nothing? Indeed she wouldn’t be getting anything out of it.

Damn, I just wish there was something I could do to make her come to her senses…:mad:
IF that’s mean, fine. I’m mean. :rolleyes: but you have to face facts

Anyway since her marriage would almost definitely be invalid in the eyes of the church, and she would be ill-equipped to take it on, should I even go to it? I don’t think so.

If I do go, it would only be because my parents force me to, anything short of that and I won’t go. Even if my parents do make me go, I’ll only be there en protesto. I mean I’m not gonna try to make her cry or anything, I’m not that mean. Believe it or not. But I’ll probably just sit at the back and keep to myself.

I think you need to have a serious heart to heart with you sister and tell her your concerns.

Then you have to look at how no attending is going to harm your relationship with her and the rest of your family. IF she goes through with the wedding, are you now going to avoid family functions where she and her husband will be in attendance? I think you really need to pray about the far reaching consequences not attending will have.

Family is forever

I appreciate the advice and all, but I will try.

that said, it really is the point where only can God can bring her home now. We’ve tried for 3 or 4 years now to convince her to come back, but to no avail. I fear God really is the only one that can help her now :frowning:

And if it becomes worse if Im not at the wedding, she would do well to remember she brought it on herself when gave up being Catholic.

I would go and support my sister. You don’t have to agree with all of her choices in life. It’s her life, but you should love her and be there for her and try not to cast a shadow on what is one of the most important days of her life. She is entering into a valid Christian marriage and deserves your love and support.

I think you misread the original poster.

[quote=BornAgain2010]Anyway since her marriage would almost definitely be invalid in the eyes of the church,
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[quote=**BornAgain2010
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;7647205]

… Anyway since her marriage would almost definitely be invalid in the eyes of the church, and she would be ill-equipped to take it on, should I even go to it? I don’t think so. QUOTE]

I can’t see why the Church would consider the marriage invalid.
If a Christian marries another Christian, the validity is recognized in most cases.

However the marriage would likely exist as an illicit marriage.

You do not have to go. If your parents ask you to, you might for their sake. I was a maid of honor for my older sister, on my sister’s direct order, through my mother! No involvement in any wedding preparation, just show up and wear the outfit that her friend had picked out! And, of course, I signed something, surprise!

The marriage was annulled, and, I was the focus of my sister’s anger. I had been 16, she 26, a former nun! Their was drunkenness by the escort assigned to me, throwing up. It was a terrible experience. I was rather modest and the outfit was close fitting, to boot! So, I was dealing with that kind of inconsiderate thing! I have a handicap.

A lousy sibling who’s own opinion of herself as a sister is quite surreal, how’s that for hindsight. In hindsight, also, she trusted an outsider with her life, and her family, me and our younger sister! We were doomed!

My other sister, who became a JW and had a love-less arranged, it seemed, second marriage, probably thought she was doing me a favor to invite me, which I don’t think she did, taking it for granted or not giving a hoot, as she found Jehovah and a supposed meal ticket. I. E. He never provided a house for her, and he stole $20,000 from her dad. This younger sister and, even the elder one found a man, in one case two men, who wanted my father’s or their wife’s meager bank account.

If you sister is marrying a respectable man, hard working man, I think I would accept it. There is nothing wrong with not wearing the rose colored glasses on YOUR nose, when you look at this future brother in law! if he is acceptable, then, wish her well and pray for them to come home to the Faith someday. Don’t start trouble in the family, where there is love. Sometimes the parents will go along with your other siblings choices. There isn’t enough respect for one’s parents! It is worth learning how to respect one’s own parents. Love them and care for them. One’s own dad knows a lot about men, and one’s dad loves you! Tell that to your sister if you still are talking!

I know it doesn’t say a lot to

;7647205]

… Anyway since her marriage would almost definitely be invalid in the eyes of the church, and she would be ill-equipped to take it on, should I even go to it? I don’t think so. QUOTE]

I can’t see why the Church would consider the marriage invalid.
If a Christian marries another Christian, the validity is recognized in most cases.

However the marriage would likely exist as an illicit marriage.
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One who has been baptized in, or received into, the Catholic Church invalidly attempts marriage outside the church, unless they have formally defected.

Formal defection is incredibly rare. So, in the Eyes of the Church, she’s still Catholic, and invalidly attempts marriage outside the church.

I don’t see how this marriage would be invalid…

I have a son who eloped and was married by a JP to a non-Catholic girl. He says he is no longer Catholic. He doesn’t set foot inside of any church except for Baptisms, weddings, and funerals. I had to make a decision–do I alienate my son for the rest of my life by making a scene about it, or do I accept the fact that they made their own decision, and perhaps with prayer God will bring them back? They do know that I believe that they should have been married in the Church, but that is as far as I went. I chose not to alienate my son and daughter-in-law and have never mentioned the subject since.

In the long run, after 10 years, I am happy I made that decision. I don’t think it would have accomplished anything but bring division and strife to the family for me to have done otherwise. We are not that big of a family to begin with. Now I freely share my faith in love with them when opportunities arise (but I don’t push it on them and never mention their marriage situation). I love my daughter-in-law and show that to her. I tell her I pray for her, and she appreciates that. And if they ever do have children, (so far they have been unable to) I will be able to see them and love them too. And I can go to family gatherings and enjoy the whole family without strife and tension. Perhaps someday they will be open to God again, I don’t know, but I have placed this in God’s hands, and perhaps it is the love of a Christian family that will bring them back.

You have to ask yourself the hard questions and examine all the consequences before you act, and pray about it.

From the thread you linked, where you are describing your sister’s new church:

They have a Eucharist, but there version of the Eucharist is just a Ritz Cracker.
They also have Baptism, which I found surprising. Their version of Baptism is done in a swimming pool. Which I found extremely funny. They all meet at a persons house and they do the Baptism ceremony in the middle of the swimming pool. And then they cake and icecream afterward, and turn it into a pool party. Which to me, kinda renders evrything pointless and invalid.

Do your sister a favor and find something else to do on her wedding day.

;7647205]

… Anyway since her marriage would almost definitely be invalid in the eyes of the church, and she would be ill-equipped to take it on, should I even go to it? I don’t think so. QUOTE]

I can’t see why the Church would consider the marriage invalid.
If a Christian marries another Christian, the validity is recognized in most cases.

However the marriage would likely exist as an illicit marriage.
[/quote]

It would be invalid as her sister is a catholic ( even if she has been going to another church) and she is not being married within the church.

[quote=**oneGODoneCHURCH
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;7652476]

It would be invalid as her sister is a catholic ( even if she has been going to another church) and she is not being married within the church.

Yes.

I checked and re-checked and checked again.
You are indeed correct.

PS - thanks

Or, you could go and support her because, you know… she’s your SISTER but explain to her that you’re there because you love her and want to support her even if you don’t agree with what she’s doing that way there’s no room for her to interpret what you’re intentions are.

Your welcome. it just happens to be a point that unfurtunatly with all the divorce in my family I am very aware of.:frowning:

Go and sit quietly in the back. Do not be part of the wedding party but go as a member of her family. Think of it as an act of charity. Your kindness may go farther to bring her around than your public disapproval.

This is exactly what I would have done if I were put in this situation.

Keep in mind: it’s a sin to participate in the simulation of a sacrament (except in the confines of seminary training).

An invalid wedding is no sacrament, but is a simulation of one.

Keep in mind: participation in a wedding includes being in any part of the wedding party: Officiant, Bride, Groom, visible witness (bridesmaid or groomsman), legal witness, server… Of these, only the officiant would be subject to Can. 1379… but the bride and groom, and the witnesses still sin by participation.

Simple attendance isn’t participation, but could give the appearance of support for the civil union purported to be a marriage. And giving the appearance of supporting a sinful act is itself a near occasion of sin, if not actually a minor one.

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