Should I Hide/Destroy My Mother's Copy of 50 Shades of Grey?


#1

I am seriously disturbed by this. My mother, a Sunday school teacher and someone I previously believed to be a striving Catholic, has gotten a copy of Fifty Shades of Grey. Honestly it sort of makes me annoyed and confused, considering that I am struggling with sins of impurity and she just picks up a pornographic novel and has it right out in front of the whole family. My dad has been unwilling to say anything. I don't know what to do. It doesn't feel right to confront my mom about moral issues when I am still a kid and have plenty of sins of my own, but I just can't believe this. Over the past few days I've seriously been thinking about taking the book and hiding it in the attic or something.

I just don't get it. How can this happen? It's sort of like you would expect a man to deal with stuff like this, but my own mother? I am really confused and frankly quite a bit scared by this.

Any ideas? Does the commandment to honor one's father and mother apply when they are committing a grave sin? What a sad world we live in...I never would have thought I would have found myself in this position. Usually I am not one to look for signs of demons and the devil, but if there ever was one it is this horrifying "phenomenon" that is sweeping the nation. Please give prayers to crush these wicked demons which are crushing our mothers, our last stronghold of morality!!! What will we do without strong, moral mothers??? What should I do?


#2

[quote="PrincepsAuguste, post:1, topic:293375"]
I am seriously disturbed by this. My mother, a Sunday school teacher and someone I previously believed to be a striving Catholic, has gotten a copy of Fifty Shades of Grey. Honestly it sort of makes me annoyed and confused, considering that I am struggling with the sin of masturbation and she just picks up a pornographic novel and has it right out in front of the whole family. My dad has been unwilling to say anything. I don't know what to do. It doesn't feel right to confront my mom about moral issues when I am still a kid and have plenty of sins of my own, but I just can't believe this. Over the past few days I've seriously been thinking about taking the book and hiding it in the attic or something.

I just don't get it. How can this happen? It's sort of like you would expect a man to deal with stuff like this, but my own mother? I am really confused and frankly quite a bit scared by this.

Any ideas? Does the commandment to honor one's father and mother apply when they are committing a grave sin? What a sad world we live in...I never would have thought I would have found myself in this position. Usually I am not one to look for signs of demons and the devil, but if there ever was one it is this horrifying "phenomenon" that is sweeping the nation. Please give prayers to crush these wicked demons which are crushing our mothers, our last stronghold of morality!!! What will we do without strong, moral mothers??? What should I do?

[/quote]

First of all, calm down. There is a good chance that your mom isn't aware of all that the book contains/involves. It's got quite a lot of press in the "women's media" about it being a great novel (which most, but not all, of us know is incorrect). I would suggest to that you mention to your mom that the book has been deemed morally offensive by more than a few reliable Catholic sources and that being case, would she mind keeping it out of site, so that you are not tempted to look at it. Wording it like this is far better than you making judgments about your mom's choice of reading material being a grave sin. Next, pray for your mom to realize that this book isn't some typical "Oprah's book club" novel and for her to throw it out. It is NOT your place to take her property or confront her on such a matter as to call her choice of reading material (however bad it is) a grave sin and to no longer believe she is a striving Catholic because of it. Pray the St Michael prayer and ask for the intercession of St Maria Goretti and St Dominic Savio.


#3

Make an off hand comment, like "So, is porn really that violent in that book?" Or something along those lines. Do it while you're watching TV, or reading a book, or eating over the sink, in some kind of just out of left feild sort of situation.

Frankly, I'd love nothing mroe then to burn those filthy wastes of paper.


#4

I'd school her on it. We are never too old to learn. You don't have to be confrontational or cause an argument of course, but raise your concerns about her reading smut like that when she is in the position of teaching youth. If she strive her best to adhere to the Church and Her teachings, than she should step down from her teaching position and speak to her priest.


#5

[quote="PrincepsAuguste, post:1, topic:293375"]
I am seriously disturbed by this. My mother, a Sunday school teacher and someone I previously believed to be a striving Catholic, has gotten a copy of Fifty Shades of Grey. Honestly it sort of makes me annoyed and confused, considering that I am struggling with the sin of masturbation and she just picks up a pornographic novel and has it right out in front of the whole family. My dad has been unwilling to say anything. I don't know what to do. It doesn't feel right to confront my mom about moral issues when I am still a kid and have plenty of sins of my own, but I just can't believe this. Over the past few days I've seriously been thinking about taking the book and hiding it in the attic or something.

I just don't get it. How can this happen? It's sort of like you would expect a man to deal with stuff like this, but my own mother? I am really confused and frankly quite a bit scared by this.

Any ideas? Does the commandment to honor one's father and mother apply when they are committing a grave sin? What a sad world we live in...I never would have thought I would have found myself in this position. Usually I am not one to look for signs of demons and the devil, but if there ever was one it is this horrifying "phenomenon" that is sweeping the nation. Please give prayers to crush these wicked demons which are crushing our mothers, our last stronghold of morality!!! What will we do without strong, moral mothers??? What should I do?

[/quote]

Don't steal the book and thus commit a mortal sin yourself. Simply sit down and talk to her about your concerns. I personally know very little about the book other than it is "risky." Regardless, it is not your to "hide or destroy" though so all you can do is be respectful and voice your concerns.


#6

While hiding or destroying the book might sound appealing, it might simply make her go out and get another copy. And that would only make the problem worse in the end.

I suggest you tell your mother that you find the book disturbing. I read a synopsis from Wikipedia because I had no idea what it was about, and I agree: that book is bad. As the others on this thread have said, don’t approach her with hostility or accusations, but be honest about how it makes you feel. Tell her you’ve heard it promotes things that the Catholic Church has always taught against. If you need to, mention that it promotes fornication–sex outside of marriage–and perverted sexual acts and that the Church has very definite teachings about such serious matters. But make sure you let her know that you find the book disturbing. She’s your mother, and she loves you, and she’ll take your reaction to such a book into account.

Pray to the Holy Spirit to guide you and give you the words you need. Pray the prayer of St. Michael the Archangel, because this is a kind of spiritual battle that needs to be fought. And ask your guardian angel to pray for you and help you remain charitable. But I will also keep you and your mother in my prayers. And everyone who’s been drawn to this book, because I have a feeling you’re not the only one facing this situation. God bless and keep you.


#7

Don't steal or lie to your Mother. Say something like, "Mom, I find it kind of uncomfortable that you're reading that book [As a side note, it's a horribly written book at that. I've seen some quotes...some of the worst writing I've ever seen] in front of me. I'm trying to work on Christian purity and seeing somebody read porn isn't helping me much. Would you at least be willing to read it when I'm not around?"

That at least opens discussion.

I also tried to word it in a way that doesn't make you sound like a dork ;) . I think (most) teenagers will get what I mean. :D


#8

[quote="Marc_Anthony, post:7, topic:293375"]
Don't steal or lie to your Mother. Say something like, "Mom, I find it kind of uncomfortable that you're reading that book [As a side note, it's a horribly written book at that. I've seen some quotes...some of the worst writing I've ever seen] in front of me. I'm trying to work on Christian purity and seeing somebody read porn isn't helping me much. Would you at least be willing to read it when I'm not around?"

That at least opens discussion.

I also tried to word it in a way that doesn't make you sound like a dork ;) . I think (most) teenagers will get what I mean. :D

[/quote]

Don't take your mom's stuff without letting her know. Don't destroy her stuff. This is pretty basic.

If you don't like what's she's reading, you might want to talk to her about it?


#9

I'm not sure what the worse sin is, the porn or the horrific disrespect to the English language and craft of writing that she's inflicting on the world. I laughed so hard at some quotes I literally had to stop and catch my breath to keep from choking.


#10

[quote="PrincepsAuguste, post:1, topic:293375"]
I am seriously disturbed by this. My mother, a Sunday school teacher and someone I previously believed to be a striving Catholic, has gotten a copy of Fifty Shades of Grey. Honestly it sort of makes me annoyed and confused, considering that I am struggling with the sin of masturbation and she just picks up a pornographic novel and has it right out in front of the whole family. My dad has been unwilling to say anything. I don't know what to do. It doesn't feel right to confront my mom about moral issues when I am still a kid and have plenty of sins of my own, but I just can't believe this. Over the past few days I've seriously been thinking about taking the book and hiding it in the attic or something.

I just don't get it. How can this happen? It's sort of like you would expect a man to deal with stuff like this, but my own mother? I am really confused and frankly quite a bit scared by this.

Any ideas? Does the commandment to honor one's father and mother apply when they are committing a grave sin? What a sad world we live in...I never would have thought I would have found myself in this position. Usually I am not one to look for signs of demons and the devil, but if there ever was one it is this horrifying "phenomenon" that is sweeping the nation. Please give prayers to crush these wicked demons which are crushing our mothers, our last stronghold of morality!!! What will we do without strong, moral mothers??? What should I do?

[/quote]

Your mother is intitled to read the Koran, this book, and any other book she pleases even if it is a book that directly challenges your beliefs.
I will say one thing about the Catholic Chuch that I respect. In this day and age, there is no penalty for reading anything contrary to Catholic beliefs. In fact, most educated Catholics not only know this but do this in their college studies everyday.


#11

You might try talking to her. Ask her why she’d read something she wouldn’t want you reading, with the “hero” characters doing things that she’d never consider doing and themes that are so opposed to what she teaches. Why would she do something she couldn’t openly admit to the children she teaches, or their parents? Is she not concerned that reading materials can affect a person’s morals?

Perhaps she has a legitimate reason to have the book that you don’t know about and we haven’t thought of, doesn’t know you realize the nature of what she is reading, and so does not realize that she is giving scandal. In any event, let her know she is scandalizing you. Give her that to think about, but then let it go. Two wrongs don’t make a right: don’t steal the book from her or destroy what doesn’t belong to you.


#12

[quote="PrincepsAuguste, post:1, topic:293375"]
I am seriously disturbed by this. My mother, a Sunday school teacher and someone I previously believed to be a striving Catholic, has gotten a copy of Fifty Shades of Grey. Honestly it sort of makes me annoyed and confused, considering that I am struggling with the sin of masturbation and she just picks up a pornographic novel and has it right out in front of the whole family. My dad has been unwilling to say anything. I don't know what to do. It doesn't feel right to confront my mom about moral issues when I am still a kid and have plenty of sins of my own, but I just can't believe this. Over the past few days I've seriously been thinking about taking the book and hiding it in the attic or something.
I just don't get it. How can this happen? It's sort of like you would expect a man to deal with stuff like this, but my own mother? I am really confused and frankly quite a bit scared by this.
Any ideas? Does the commandment to honor one's father and mother apply when they are committing a grave sin? What a sad world we live in...I never would have thought I would have found myself in this position. Usually I am not one to look for signs of demons and the devil, but if there ever was one it is this horrifying "phenomenon" that is sweeping the nation. Please give prayers to crush these wicked demons which are crushing our mothers, our last stronghold of morality!!! What will we do without strong, moral mothers??? What should I do?

[/quote]

I don't think it's technically "porn"...more of an "erotic" novel.
Your father doesn't seem to think there's anything wrong with it. (Maybe he's reading it, too?)

You can't take it and hide/destroy it...that would be stealing someone's property. That's way graver a sin than your mother reading a novel whose characters have sex.
It's not Catholic sex between a married Catholic woman and man, that's true...but would you also want to stop her from reading Lady Chatterly's Lover?
Or chick-lit like Judith Krantz?

The front cover is just a plain, boring picture of a man's tie, so if she leaves the book on a table around the house, the pic shouldn't interfere with your decision not to masturbate.

Your mother might just be curious what all the fuss is about.
Maybe you are just young and feel uncomfortable with the idea that your mom is a healthy, sexual being?
But that's nothing to be uncomfortable or "afraid" about.


#13

Your mother, as a Sunday school teacher, should not have that sort of book out for the world to see she is reading it. Maybe she is not aware of the books popularity and that the common person can tell simply by the cover picture or the title that it is smut. If this is the case maybe alert her to the fact that you know what it is and that other people are likely to know as well.
I do not, however, think it is wrong for her to read the book. Reading this sort of book does not mean she is masturbating. She is (i assume) a married woman, she obviously has a healthy sexual curiosity, why not take ideas from the book and explore the bounds with her husband? Is it wrong to look up the sex position of the day to try something new with your spouse? Maybe she was looking for ideas to reignite the romance in her and your fathers relationship, which is a good thing for any marriage :slight_smile:


#14

[quote="PrincepsAuguste, post:1, topic:293375"]
I am seriously disturbed by this. My mother, a Sunday school teacher and someone I previously believed to be a striving Catholic, has gotten a copy of Fifty Shades of Grey. Honestly it sort of makes me annoyed and confused, considering that I am struggling with the sin of masturbation and she just picks up a pornographic novel and has it right out in front of the whole family. My dad has been unwilling to say anything. I don't know what to do. It doesn't feel right to confront my mom about moral issues when I am still a kid and have plenty of sins of my own, but I just can't believe this. Over the past few days I've seriously been thinking about taking the book and hiding it in the attic or something.

I just don't get it. How can this happen? It's sort of like you would expect a man to deal with stuff like this, but my own mother? I am really confused and frankly quite a bit scared by this.

Any ideas? Does the commandment to honor one's father and mother apply when they are committing a grave sin? What a sad world we live in...I never would have thought I would have found myself in this position. Usually I am not one to look for signs of demons and the devil, but if there ever was one it is this horrifying "phenomenon" that is sweeping the nation. Please give prayers to crush these wicked demons which are crushing our mothers, our last stronghold of morality!!! What will we do without strong, moral mothers??? What should I do?

[/quote]

She reads it in front of the whole family? I'd say 'hey Mum, that must be a great book, How about I read it out loud for us so we can all enjoy it!'


#15

Maybe, your mom doesn’t know what type of novel this is? :shrug:

I, myself have read controversial novels without realizing it.

Some of these novels were shocking :eek:

Some of them left me confused :confused:

Some of them were rather boring :rolleyes: <-- This is supposed to be a bored look not sarcastic (laughs)

Therefore, like many CAF users suggested sit down and have a chat with your mom.

May I suggest saying an Intercessory Prayer to St. Teresa of Avila?

When St. Teresa of Avila was a teenager her and her mother read so many romance novels that she (St. Teresa of Avila) lost interest and love for Prayers. However, through God’s help and grace St. Teresa devoted her life to God.

Actually, there is one CAF poster who actually converted or reverted (can’t remember exactly) to the Catholic faith after reading Dan Brown’s controversial novel, “The Da Vinci Code”

God works in mysterious ways.

I’ll Pray for you as well.

God bless,

goforgoal


#16

[quote="Marc_Anthony, post:9, topic:293375"]
I'm not sure what the worse sin is, the porn or the horrific disrespect to the English language and craft of writing that she's inflicting on the world. I laughed so hard at some quotes I literally had to stop and catch my breath to keep from choking.

[/quote]

I read a very hilarious review about it. Its badly written, its theme is terrible.

To the OP, your mother is the adult, you are the child. Do not hide/destroy the book. You can speak to your mother as her child, respectfully without preaching about your own fears. Do not read the book. With respect, you have to learn self control. You will have to live in the world one day and you will not be able to control everyone and everything. God bless.


#17

The worst that will happen to your Mother from reading this book is put her to sleep, it's just plain awful. I didn't think of it as porn at all and barely touched on erotic. It's dull and boring, dreadfully written. But if she's one of the many who thought it was wonderful,she's old enough to make up her own mind on what she can and can't read. Leave her be.


#18

I hadn’t looked into this one yet. Ergh, more poorly-written porn? Come on, guys. If you’re going to write porn, atleast write it well. I’m the son of an English teacher, that kind of stuff drives me crazy. I’d be tempted to attack it with a red pen.


#19

How would you like it if your mother hid or destroyed something of yours? Just because you don't agree with something someone is reading doesn't give you the right to hide/destroy it. I can't believe that you're even considering this. Grow up!!


#20

[quote="Mum5, post:17, topic:293375"]
The worst that will happen to your Mother from reading this book is put her to sleep, it's just plain awful. I didn't think of it as porn at all and barely touched on erotic. It's dull and boring, dreadfully written. But if she's one of the many who thought it was wonderful,she's old enough to make up her own mind on what she can and can't read. Leave her be.

[/quote]

LOL, you're on CAF... Of course it is porn.
Members who have never read the book but "heard" about it will tell you it is porn.:rolleyes:

OP _

If this is the "worst" your mom has done, consider yourself lucky.


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