Should I just accept being single?

As I’m nearing 30 and still single should I just forget the idea of a husband and just focus on me and God alone…
Or should I keep praying for a spouse?

Do not talk like this. It breaks my heart. I think you should involve yourself with more things socially in hopes of meeting your future spouse. I hate the idea of waiting hopelessly for a man. I am not sure what type of family you come from - but one where you are pressured to marry soon.

Why do you see this as some kind of disaster? So you are single? Well great, that means you are free to do so much more for so many more. Single is wonderful. I am heading for 80 and always single and I have no regrets only thankfulness…

You can be a gift to all around you… As I was to friends who were married with small kids as an honorary auntie…

It just makes me feel sad and incomplete.

Dont give up. I met my husband via Catholic Match at 46 and I married at 48. Thirty is young.

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I met my wife when she was 29. We married when she was 31.

Indeed. I was older than you, OP, when I met The future Husband. We married in our 30s. Lots of people do. Thirty isn’t the end of marriageable age.

Well I’m turning 33 this year and so far the best I can show for it is three broken hearts.

So you’re in good company! Also yeah. 30 is not too late.

Well, if you think about it in depth Mary was in a sense “single” even 'though she was “married” according to custom. It is a fallacy to believe that everyone must be married or married by a certain age. Just be who and what you are at this time and trust that the Lord will make the known your future or marital state at the right time. And do as others have suggested: get out and circulate in all the right places. Peace.

I am around your age, I would love to find a wife, but I need to set me life straight. Pray to do God’s will, before ANYTHING else. I was actually told by a priest to pray for a girlfriend, so I will take his advice.

A husband will not make you happy or complete. Going into marriage expecting that will doom you.

You need to grab hold of your own life and live your Christian vocation as a single person. Become a saint. If marriage comes along so be it, but you should always be a disciple of Christ and the rest of your relationships serve that mission.

True. The OP needs to work on being a complete person now and not wait for someone, other than Christ, to complete her.

I’ve spent many years working on that, more so than I have wanting a man. I even looked at Religious Life and that left me feeling like I didn’t belong.
To be complete with Christ I need to be dead.


You can be a single person living normal life and find your completeness in Christ. Like I said (and I’m divorced partly because of this). You will not find happiness in marriage.

Marriage is a place for you to give of yourself to someone.

You need to be strong and full and confident in who you are as an individual. Focus on that.

I seek being single for my whole life.

Why is that? For spiritual reasons?

I don’t feel called to marriage. I really don’t. I was in the process of joining a religious order, but my psychological troubles got in the way. May God’s will be done.

I’m 33 and still single. You probably don’t need to give up yet.

I’ve been reading, and re-reading an excellent book by Fr. Mitch Pacwa called How to Listen when God is Speaking. One of the things he talks about - a part of Ignatian spirituality - is the need to be “equal-minded”; that is, the need to be equally willing to accept any path that God asks you to follow knowing that His plan is the best plan for you.

When you start thinking about cutting off certain paths, it’s helpful to remember that God has a plan for you, but you have to be willing to say yes to that plan.

I am around your age group and I know many that are single aswell. For me the problem is many young people our age are not practising Catholics and it’s hard to meet a man I can share the faith with. Keep praying if it’s meant to happen and it’s part of God’s will it will happen!

I’d love to get my hands on that book. It would help me understand and know better the path God wants me to take.

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