My husband and I have been married for 9 years. He has been abusive for about 8 of them ever since his mom passed away and it was the first time he went to his home since we were together. I am a bigger girl and everyone put me down and embarassed him for marrying me and ever since then he’s been a nightmare.
Flash forward to today and we have a business. He hardly works it. He sits at home all day playing with our baby (we have two kids) and watching spots. He doesn’t clean up and I work at the business. he puts in 2 or three days a week and I put in at least 6. He can be a nice guy one minute and a crazy person the next. He drinks and won’t stop. He can get physically abusive when he drinks. He keeps saying this is his last bottle of watever he’s getting to drink and then he’s stopping. I just roll my eyes and say yeah right becuase I know it’s not. Why does he have to try to fool himself that is is? Because the second I make a dinner that he doesn’t like or something doesn’t get done at the store that he demands we go while he watches spots and plays, then he’s getting a bottle of absolute and telling me that I drive him to drink. I drive him to it becuase I am fat and not rich so he can’t get what he wants to buy since he has to worry about bills.
He is a different nationality and tells my oldest that I am not in their same group (my oldest looks like him) and he tells me that he is just annoyed by me the second he sees me and it starts a fight. He wants me to take the baby and leave since the baby is white like me and leave the oldest becuase he looks like him. He doesn’t even want to raise him - he wants to send him to boarding school in another country where his family lives. Not going to happen. Over my dead body.
So I work sometimes all day, sometimes just a regular 6 or 8 hour shift and then I go home and the house is a mess because like I said all he does is play, sleep and watch sports. When I wake up in the morn I take our oldest to school and put the baby to bed. Clean the mess my husband and kids left the night before while I was working and then head to work. He will get mad that I’m not there right away after dropping off our oldest son but that’s not going to happen because of all the stuff I just mentioned I have to do. Then if he goes to work at night and I’m home, I had a 5 year old to help with school and spend quality time with, make dinner, give a bath and put to bed all while taking care of the baby and doing laundry and washing the dishes he’s too lazy to do. I have no time to do stuff for myself, -sometimes even taking a shower is not possible and he complains about me not having time for that. I said if I got to sleep in till 10 and then take a shower and have breakfast cooked for me and the house was taken care of I would have an hour to take a shower and dress nice and do my hair and makeup too. But I don’t becuase I’m taking care of HIM and two kids, and the house and WORKING.
Anyway, I am sick of the fighting and I just want to know, it is just time to get the heck out of dodge? He doens’t want conseling or help since he thinks all his problems come from being embarassed by how fat I am and that I can’t take care of the business he’s never at!!!