Should I only date practicing Catholics?


#1

A protestant wouldn’t typically be willing to use NFP and what if someone asked me out. What do i say? Oh, I can only go out with you if you are willing to use NFP and raise our children Catholic. Pretty much, I have to date only practicing Catholics.

I got to go to work now so i’ll check this after i get back.


#2
  1. You better not be practicing NFP with someone you’re simply dating :rolleyes:

  2. Why would you want to date a Protestant? Dating, for a Catholics, should be to primarily search for a mate. Do you want to marry someone who is probably going to have difficulty understanding your spirituality (i.e. Marian and Saintly devotions, the need for Confession, etc.), or even flat-out disagree with you? What about if/when you have children? Do you want them to grow up in a confused environment, not sure where the True faith lies? Some might argue that Catholic and Protestants share enough in common so it doesn’t matter, but I’ll put it like this: humans and apes share ~96% of the same genetic components, but would you marry an ape?


#3

It makes things a lot easier if you fall in love and want to get married.

Betsy


#4

I dated a Prostestant. I married a Protestant. He eventually converted to Catholism and he NEVER, EVER got in the way of me practicing my faith or raising our daughter as a Catholic. We discussed and made these important decisions before the marriage and he stuck to the agreement. I know that isn’t going to work in every case, but it worked for me and no way would he be Catholic today, if I hadn’t married a Protestant.


#5

I would say it depends on the person. Some people are supportive and willing to make things work because they have God’s natural law inside of them that helps them to be humble, kind, generous, loving, charitable, forgiving, as well as to stand for what they believe in and to seek the truth.

Whether they are Catholic or not, they would want the truth and what’s best, which logically will have no problems with the orthodox Catholic faith.

Just in case, this is not a bait is it? You do support NFP as a means to plan out family life, to have a working knowledge of the health of the women, and to support the family to grow spiritually physically emotionally and intellectually right? If so then that’s good.


#6

When my wife and I were dating, I respected her religious beliefs. After we were married, I was still not Catholic, but I respected her beliefs. Now I’m Catholic as well, so we share the same beliefs. That’s the power of prayer and the grace from God to stand firm on what you believe.

The point is, you should find someone that respects you and your beliefs. If they don’t, hit the road.


#7

Dating “Catholics only” is hard, but, as has been said, it certainly makes practicing your faith and raising your children much easier. Yes, your non-Catholic spouse could convert (a blessing!), but there is no guarantee that will happen. And in the meantime, it is difficult to teach your children “this is the faith of Jesus” when Daddy or Mommy doesn’t go to church with you an believes very differently (no infant baptism, no real presence in the Eucharist, no priestly absolution, shunning of Mary, etc.) How can you teach the differences in faith without a) watering down Catholic teaching or b) making your child think Mommy/Daddy is doing something bad?

Maybe you can increase your chances of marrying Catholic by joining Catholic social groups at church or asking your Catholic friends for possible candidates.


#8

you wouldn’t even ask those questions until you are ready for sex, and that would of course not even happen until after marriage, so I assume that by “dating” you mean actual courtship, the process by which one identifies and pursues a potential marriage partner. Catholics are obliged to marry Catholics, It is a law of the Church. It can be dispensed with very good reason, but ordinarily marital happiness is far more likely if one is tied for life to someone who shares what should be the most important commitment in your life, your Catholic Faith.


#9

I’d only want to date a practicing Catholic cause that’s such an important part of my life, I’d want to share it with my future spouse, if I get married.


#10

AMEN, Sister!! :thumbsup:

Catholics are happiest marrying Catholics, and since dating is the activity that most often leads to marriage, it’s very important to date Catholics - and since you don’t know which of your dates is going to fall in love with you and want to marry you, it’s best if you date only Catholics.

One should not engage in “missionary dating”. That scenario most often turns out badly.


#11

Yeah, I’ll only date practicing Catholics for the most part (if they wanted to convert of something). But, how would I tell a non-Catholic I couldn’t go out with them. Should I just say that I can only go out with Catholics.


#12

If you don’t flirt with them to begin with, they won’t ask,and you won’t have to say anything at all. :slight_smile:


#13

Let’s say you do not flirt or lead anyone on but someone does ask you. Well, you can explain to them that your faith is very important to you and dating is an inquiry towards the marriage vocation. If they are not considering dating as a marriage inquiry then you can tell them that you only hope to have a serious relationship. At that point you do not need to use faith as a reason. If they hope to have a serious relationship, you can explain that your faith prevents you from having a casual secular relationship, one that involves sexual activity and disrespect of your faith. If they are not comfortable with respecting you and your beliefs, then you can say you are not comfortable or do not find the person attractive in all levels. If they are completely respecting of you and your beliefs then it is your choice imo if you would like to date them and consider them as a future spouse.

I think being honest while tactful is the best course of action. It’s respectful, charitable and humble at the same time.


#14

I am unaware that there’s an ‘obligation’ to marry only a Catholic. While it might be the ideal condition, I haven’t heard it discussed as an obligation before. A person contemplating a mixed marriage would need to get a ‘dispensation from form’ from the bishop (described recently on a ‘Catholic Answers Live’ radio show as a formality easily obtained) and perhaps still complete a marriage preparation class, but the Church would then recognize their union as a sacrament, and the Catholic spouse would still be in a state of grace.


#15

Wow, great counselling!


#16

My Mother married a Protestant, and though it took a while, my Dad became a Catholic. At age 70, after three life-threatening strokes. Ten years later now, they are still both alive, but in their twilight years.


#17

DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions expressed in these forums do not necessarily reflect those of Catholic Answers. For official apologetics resources please visit www.catholic.com.