My brother is getting married in a couple months and has asked me to be a groomsmen. The question is, is do I participate; the woman that he is marrying is a divorced (no anullment) non-catholic and they are planning on getting married in the Lutheran church. He told me that they plan on getting there marriage blessed in the Catholic Faith after they get the anullment, which my parents and I have tried telling him before that he should just wait until the anullment goes through, what is the hurry? I believe that it is wrong what he is doing, plus they are living together now, which is also wrong. I am at a loss of what to tell him and also do not what to cause a bad relationship between him and I, if I tell him I can’t participate. I have been praying for the Holy Spirit to guide me to the right answer and I thought that I would try here as well. My wife says that my brother will be hurt if I tell him no, especially I was a groomsmen for my other brother 6 years ago who had gotten a divorce from his first wife without an anullment. I told my wife I was younger than and didn’t think about the wrong that I was doing and that if I think about this as a sin for me to support my brother, I am committing the same sin only this time it is under full knowledge of the sin that is taking place. My main question is, Can I participate in the wedding party yet by telling my brother that what is going on is wrong and I don’t support this sin that is taking place, but since I love you I will be in the wedding party? I feel that the answer is no but I need some more help in determining this. I know that we are not to be the judge of others, but if we do know that something is wrong we shouldn’t sit idly by without bringing our knowledge of the wrong up to the one doing the wrong.
The following link should assist you in understanding whether it’s allowable to participate a Protestant wedding ceremony. If you have any further questions or concerns that are not answered by these links, please contact Catholic Answers directly.
*]Can a Catholic be best man at a Protestant wedding?
*]What are the rules for attending weddings?