Should I postpone convalidation until it means something to my husband? He said he would do it for me.... but maybe it would be better to wait for him to understand what the sacrament of marriage truly means. I am a revert... so I am really catholic now and I have had a difficult time rebuilding our relationship foundation built on Christ. It makes me sad when he says that he just isn't as "into it" as I or when he jokes or says ignorant things after mass. I couldn't believe it the other day he was playing with our son and he was about to show him the bloody mary game in the bathroom! He just doesn't get it. I just said to God one day I give my problems to you. I am not sure if this is the cross I am to carry, our civil marriage, or if I should head toward the direction of radical sanation and carry that cross. Is this an example of you made your bed now sleep in it? Or do I have to do a necessary evil and break up our family? And if I break this family up due to faith (there are other reasons to), wouldn't that drive my husband even further away? We do have a 4 year old. We have been to marriage counseling, and it was wonderful but I don't know if I want to keep trying...trying for what? Some other issues we have are continuing our son in catholic school, NFP, having more children, I do pretty much everything- primary provider financially, pay bills, take son to school, grocery shop, laundry, clean, etc. It seems like I take care of my husband instead of having a partner. We were high school sweethearts. I must admit I am at the point where I can't give anymore- he calls me everyday, worries constantly and no mattter what I do I can't ease his worry, compulsions, hyperchondria. I am so sad because I do love him but I feel like this isn't a marriage- or am I missing something? Do I keep trying to perservere?
I didn't realize sharing a spiritual union with eachother would mean so much to me. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
St. Monica, pray for us,
Thank you all for your prayers and your time.