Should I quit the Catholic Daughters?

I belong to a Catholic Daughters of the Americas’ court. But I’m beginning to think money, etc is more on their minds than serving God, and they did something I felt was wrong. They insisted on having their Christmas Party today, on the Feast of the Immaculate Conception. I was intending to go to the party, swallow my pride, and go to an OF Mass to make my obligation. But the person who was driving me to the party insisted on going to her church, and the results were awful. I walked out when at the beginning they asked us to “Stand up and greet one another.” Not to mention the sermon was the priest asking questions to the laypeople. Anyway I told my friend this mass was a “farce” and to take me to the bus stop if not home. I did make Mass; the EF Mass I was intending to go to in the first place. But I feel bad, and I feel I’ve made these ladies mad at me. i do owe them some loyalty, but they’re so modern; one is downright feminist. Do I not renew my dues? What can I do, being single I find it hard to be a part of groups.:sad_yes::nope:

The “stand up and greet” deal is annoying but not anywhere near a real abuse. Asking questions during the homily is perfectly acceptable if not taken to excess. CDA is not a traditionalist group. If you want that, you should look for something at an EF-only parish.

I have found CDA to be one of the most orthodox of the various womens’ organizations available in my diocese. Yes, they do spend a lot of time on fundraising. That’s because, at least in my chapter, their main activities are giving out scholarships, participating in Habitat for Humanity projects and supporting the seafarers project. Those are all ways to serve God but take money to accomplish.

BTW, what is wrong with having their party today? It’s a FEAST day!

The greeting thing is rather annoying, yes. But it cannot be called an abuse

You owe these ladies nothing. It may take rearranging your life, somewhat, to make sure you protect your soul. Do not hesitate to do so. I have had to do the same thing.:juggle::signofcross:

She at least owes them the courtesy to not assume them to be something that they are not, simply because she (wrongly) considers a party on a feast day to be wrong, or that she doesn’t agree with their direction, or that she finds fault with the celebration of the liturgy at a particular church.

What is this group of women doing that is endangering this one (slightly confused) person’s soul?

Oh dear. I hope this doesn’t turn into an OF/EF argument. :bigyikes:

I don’t know anything about the Catholic Daughters, but from what you described, there was nothing near the level of abuse in the Mass you attended. You may not have liked it, which is fine, but it was still a valid Mass. You should probably try to explain to the others why you felt compelled to act how you did and NOT just leave without saying a single thing. It’s best not to burn bridges; you never know when you might need to head back that way.

If you have to swallow your pride in order to go to an OF Mass, then your mindset is morally problematic.

I walked out when at the beginning they asked us to “Stand up and greet one another.”

You acted with disrespect. There is nothing wrong with that, particularly if it happens before Mass starts.

Not to mention the sermon was the priest asking questions to the laypeople.

Again, not problematic.

Anyway I told my friend this mass was a “farce”

The Mass sounds perfectly valid and free from abuse, according to what you have written.

Even if it were not, you were uncharitable and disrespectful.

What can I do, being single I find it hard to be a part of groups.:sad_yes::nope:

Perhaps the issue is not that you are single, but that your attitude is incompatible with Christ’s message and Catholicism more broadly.

OK, I got told. Maybe I should have said “irreverence” rather than “abuse.” anyway it was Protestant and the altar is not in the right place. I wanted support and suggestions, and I got them. I don’t like them, but I got them. This Mass was irreverent. AND all my group of ladies care about is their 100 anniversary party and making money for that. Yes I was rude. I’m sorry I brought this up. I should have told her to pick me up at the church i wanted to go to. But if the group, at least mine, is not as orthodox as I wish it would be. Go ahead and close the thread, I’m unsubscribing.:frowning:


A 100th anniversary is a pretty big deal. What do you suggest the group do instead; wear sackcloth and ashes?

To call a valid Catholic Mass “Protestant” :eek: – you’re right, maybe you should resign from the Daughters. Their motto is “Unity and Charity,” and you don’t seem to agree with that.

Good point.

I must admit, I find this board absolutely unsurpassed when I need a chuckle. :smiley:

I was a Protestant for over 40 years, attending a variety of different churches within numerous Protestant denominations. I’ve never seen ANYTHING in these churches that I have seen described on these boards as “Protestant.” Greetings? Done before or after the service. Holding hands during the Our Father? I have NEVER seen this in ANY Protestant church I’ve attended–about 12 to 15 in all–and didn’t even know it was a “thing” until I saw it done IN A CATHOLIC CHURCH.

Methinks the bandying about of the term “Protestant” on these boards is the spiritual equivalent of calling someone a “doody-head.” Intended the be the ultimate insult, I only see faith so weak that it has to be bolstered by tearing down another faith. :shrug:


Sometimes it is hard to ask questions of the forum. The answers aren’t always what we want or expect to hear. One thing people aren’t there and can’t really perceive the situation and they can only go by the small part that we say. They also aren’t in your situation and don’t know yours or the other peoples heart.

That said I would suggest take it to prayer. The rosary or a novena to the Holy Spirit for guidance. If there are things going on that are not helping your spiritual growth or you feel the Holy Spirit is saying to you, ask him to help guide you and to show you how to react. There are places that are good for us spiritually and there are places that are best for us spiritually. He will lead you.

Blessings to you.

This is the most pathetic and sad response I have read. Getting upset at a 100th anniversary party being on the founding of the organization which seems to be the Feast of the Immaculate Conception is the start. Then getting mad because you were forced to attend an OF Mass (which was valid) because the person WAS being nice and giving you a ride which you didn’t have. Then you seem unapologetic in your rudeness is just beyond beyond. Now you don’t like the fact that other posters are pointing out your bad attitude and rudeness so you go storm off again and leave the thread you started. Pride, superior and condescending attitude, lack of gratefulness and charity, calling a valid Catholic Mass an invalid Protestant service are things you seem to have a problem with.

nothing, it is a bad attitude on the OP’s part alone that is the real issue here and apparently doesn’t want to see when pointed out so she storms off again. There is no Catholic organization that will make her happy and there is nothing wrong with celebrating a 100th anniversary party on it’s founding day which appears to be Immaculate Conception. It did not interfere with attending anyone Mass obligation and the lady giving her the ride was being nice and going to Mass together should have been a nice time of fellowship whether it was EF or OF.

These are good points, and I’ve been guilty of using the “Protestant” label myself to describe things such as “stand up and greet each other” and the Pater Noster human chain and the frantic handshaking chaos during the sign of peace. Obviously I don’t like any of these practices and I consider them intrusive, but that doesn’t make them necessarily “Protestant.”

I’ve also gone to one of these Masses and thought it was irreverent but “offered it up”. Now, in my diocese the party would NEVER have been on December 8th, because our Bishop pointed it out that the Christmas season begins on Christmas and not before, and discouraged any parties held before. Perhaps in charity you could bring this up, because after all it is the season of Advent and such a party could clearly have been postponed till after Christmas, especially since it was on Our Lady’s Feast Day. I’d also encourage you to attend an EF Mass when you can, but if you run into those irregularities , there are also parishes that reverently offer the OF Mass . These distractions can be offered up as a Penance or for the Poor Souls, which I usually do. Good luck!

The organization does not get to decide the date of its founding, which has nothing to do with the Christmas season anyway.

I’ll say this in my diocese Catholic Daughters are strong supporters of vocations not sure if that is the case where you are but that may be one good reason to stay in it.


I hope you are still reading this thread. It sounds to me like you joined CDA without understanding what type of organization it is. As noted earlier, their motto is unity and service. They are a group that is aimed at fellowship and service to others. It is NOT a prayer group, a Bible study or a theology think-tank. There are other groups that pursue those goals.

If that is the case, then you should probably bow gracefully out of CDA and look for a more spiritually focussed group. It would not be fruitful for you to keep trying to change the purpose of CDA (especially after 100 years).

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