Should I tell him forget it?


#1

Hello! It has been a while since I posted. My husband is athiest. He attened RCIA. We volunteered to help with the new class. I said to him maybe something will sink in. I work night shift he no longer goes. He attends Mass as long as I sing in the choir. I sing in the choir so I can get him there. He stated he does not like Mass. He really does not like going. I almost want to tell him not to go since he has tried. I am struggling in the faith as well. I am not cheerful and outgoing as I used to be I am to the point that I might be overscrupulous. I was entertaining the doubts of leaving the faith myself (I did not share this). I keep holding on though. I believe God works through mysterious ways. Should I tell him not to keep going? I don't think I should because I should encourage him to follow God's commandments. He has been supportive as much as an athiest can be. Any advice would be appreciated. God bless you all.


#2

I think you need to leave it to your husband to decide, but you can say that it's up to him to decide whether or not he comes.
He sounds like a good man, and his actions are unselfish and uncaring.
In that he is certainly living the command to love others as oneself...see what Jesus says in Matthew 25, verses 31-46.

Please remember that God is a God of love not fear, so please don't be fearful about your faith and the way you live your life.

May God grant your husband the gift of faith, in the right time, and may God strengthen your faith.

Sounds like your husband is a very special man!
God bless you both


#3

Actually, you’re contradicting your self. You’re struggling, yet how do you find the truth? You keep going. It dosn’t sound as if he’s being abusive or malicious towards you, only that he’s unhappy with Mass. Perhaps you should try different masses as a couple…from contemporary to chanted. Perhaps he’s simply physically uncomfortable.

Let him know your struggling, too. Perhaps he’s seeing you and how you always seem to believe and he cannot muster the very idea. How intimidating it would be to try and join a religion where everyone always gives 100% and says its always joyful. Especally when you’re accoustomed to giving nothing!


#4

No he is not at all. He has been very good about it. I am not being a good example as a Catholic. I am not joyful. I take things a lot more seriously. How can he be attracted if I do not make Catholicism look joyful. What inspires you to be joyful when you think about Catholicism besides Jesus :)?


#5

Woo hoo! A lehigh valley person. I’m originally from that area.

Well, to be honest, I’d pray long and hard about it. I would say for you, to pray the novena to the Holy Spirit. If you can go to daily Mass, give it a try. Have a Mass offered for your husband. Talk to a good priest in any case.

I’ll be behind you in my prayers. :console:

Here is the link to the Holy Spirit Novena.
ewtn.com/Devotionals/pentecost/seven.htm

Ask the Holy Spirit to give you the grace to maintain your faith. The evil one will try to pull you away and give you a hard time, especially because you are new to the Church. If you experience hardship, it is most likely because the evil one knows you can affect your husband and others.

You’re probably doing well and that’s what the enemy hates. :wink:


#6

Thank you.:). I now have to find out what a Novena is


#7

Hi,
You are terrific. You practise your faith and lead by example. You pray and ask others for help. If you keep praying and practising your faith then eventually your good man will follow even more closely. I agree with the idea that maybe a change of Church is a good idea. Some celebrations of Mass do not suit everyone; some folk prefer to pray and meditate quietly, whilst others like to sing and show a more overt style of friendship within the faith.
Try not to dwell; try not to doubt.
As your husband likes to accompany you when you sing in the choir, be happy about this, take the opportunity to introduce him to other men/partners/husbands after, (or before), Mass each week. Make the time at Church a good time 'out'...meeting others with similar values, it will follow that as he makes friends and finds going to Mass a relaxed and enjoyable time in his week this will make you a happier, cheerier person also.
Take 'baby-steps'. Rome was not built in a day. There is no rush. Each day say a prayer or 3!
Good luck; keep us updated
Annie

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#8

Ma'am-

For what it's worth, I'm praying for you.

Maybe next week (this is just a suggestion) you could sit with him and see his responses to various scripture or prayers? Then discuss it with him? You probably know why he is an athiest, has he read books by former athiests who are now Christians? Lee Strobel, or CS Lewis come to mind, I'm sure there are alot more.

Good luck!


#9

#10

Not to sound trite...and maybe becuase I just discovered him...Scott Hahn is great. His best book by far is the $45 textbook "Understanding the Scriptures"
WORTH. EVERY. LAST. PENNY. Buy this book even if it means eating rice and beans for a month.


#11

A Novena is a prayer you say for nine days.

Remember, the Christian life is not always hilltops, we have valleys to walk through. It is natural to have a down period in that first year after conversion.

What makes me joyful? The fact that I am never alone - the Communion of Saints means I have a family and friends who are always here for me, even in the darkest valley.

The Church is something I will never learn everything about. There is ALWAYS something else to know, to explore. It is like swimming in very deep water. Learning brings me great joy.

Read more, find a library at your or a nearby Parish and dive into the richness that is there.

Pray more, go to Adoration. That brings a special joy.


#12

Make a good confession and do your best to receive communion in a state of grace. Do your best to show reverence towards the Blessed Sacrament, such as spending a long time in adoration (where you can piece your problems together in silence, in the physical presence of Our Lord:heaven:) and receiving communion on the tongue.

I would also recommend staying away from the bitterness that you see on Non-catholic religions, news, and some of the apologetics forums. The last thing you need right now is to think of all of the murders, sins and blashphemies that happen in the world every second… get yourself right with God so that you have the grace to deal with anything.

And remember… only in heaven will you ever have real peace. Life is suffering, interrupted by moments of joy and happiness. We cannot survive on our own, God is the one who gets us through hard times. Giving up because of little things only happens when a person doesn’t have enough trust and faith! Keep working through it… I have heard that mixed marriages are rough… but where you’ll spend eternity is not up to be compromised. Your husband understands this obviously… he seems to have a lot of love, I will pray that God touches his heart first, and then his intellect:thumbsup:

God bless!! Never lose hope


#13

I agree. I’m a cradle Catholic, and it’s normal (very normal!) to go through ups and downs no matter how strong your faith is.

Don’t give up. Pray when you don’t feel like it, and definitely keep going to Mass and receiving the sacraments (Jesus will give you strength through them).

Saying a prayer for you and your husband. :crossrc: :hug1:


#14

I used to be a militant atheist. My religion was science and humanism and I made it no secret. I used to belittle the people around me especially my fiance at the time. We broke up over it. She is a cradle catholic and refused to compromise her faith. It was a very tough break up and I went to Florida for a vacation to clear my head.

One night on the vacation there was a thunderstorm over the gulf of Mexico. I was sitting down on the beach watching it. It was the most beautiful thing I have ever seen in my life. The sky was black but each time the lightning struck it lit up the entire cloud but there was no thunder. It was the strangest thing.

I was transfixed. Each time the sky lit up I felt a somewhat joyous tug at my heart. It became so emotionally intense that I sat and cried to myself for quite a while. It was the only time in my life that I have ever cried because I was happy.

The next day I awoke with such a thirst for God that I dug through the phone book for the local parish and made an appointment to see the priest that day.

Father Clif performed our wedding ceremony 2 years later on the same beach.

That was 4 years ago. I still struggle with my faith at times, but I have no doubt that the Holy Spirit calls each of us at some point. Keep praying and his time will come too.


#15

Do not be concerned with the tough times. Each of you has your heart in the right place where the other is concerned, despite the difficulties. I am sure that if you seek together you will find together.


#16

[quote="forlorn, post:14, topic:178985"]
I used to be a militant atheist. My religion was science and humanism and I made it no secret. I used to belittle the people around me especially my fiance at the time. We broke up over it. She is a cradle catholic and refused to compromise her faith. It was a very tough break up and I went to Florida for a vacation to clear my head.

One night on the vacation there was a thunderstorm over the gulf of Mexico. I was sitting down on the beach watching it. It was the most beautiful thing I have ever seen in my life. The sky was black but each time the lightning struck it lit up the entire cloud but there was no thunder. It was the strangest thing.

I was transfixed. Each time the sky lit up I felt a somewhat joyous tug at my heart. It became so emotionally intense that I sat and cried to myself for quite a while. It was the only time in my life that I have ever cried because I was happy.

The next day I awoke with such a thirst for God that I dug through the phone book for the local parish and made an appointment to see the priest that day.

Father Clif performed our wedding ceremony 2 years later on the same beach.

That was 4 years ago. I still struggle with my faith at times, but I have no doubt that the Holy Spirit calls each of us at some point. Keep praying and his time will come too.

[/quote]

Thank you for this story. I hope the HS will reach out to my husband as well. In all fairness I was not practicing when we got together and when we got married. It was a struggle for him and he has been rolling with it.


#17

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