Should I tell someone?


#1

I used to have a problem with addiction.

It’s not a problem for me anymore - it’s been over a year since I last gave in to this addiction. I also went to confession for it earlier this year, and ever since then the temptations, if any, are especially weak. So my problem is not that I’m worried I’m going to fall back in to this addiction. I’ve grown a lot closer to God this past year and have learned to replace my addiction with Him.

Here’s the thing - I’ve kept this addiction a secret from everyone for about 7 years now. While I was struggling with the addiction, the secrecy of it all made it so much worse. I have never talked about it with another person.

Lately I have felt far from God and a lot of my friends. I can’t discern anything from Him and when I do I feel like I either discerned wrong or now isn’t the right time. When I’m with my friends, even my close ones, I just feel out of place when I’m with them. (These are my Christ-centered friends too). This addiction has been on my mind for a while now, even after I went to confession. It’s only been recently that I even recognized that this was an addiction I have.
I feel like God might be trying to pull me away from a lot of the things in my life to work something out, and I feel that this addiction is apart of it. Even though I went to confession - I still keep this addiction a secret, just like I did before.

I’m tired of keeping secrets. I’m wondering if I should talk to someone I really trust about my addiction. I really want to. But I want what God wants, and I’m afraid that this will turn out to be a mistake if I tell someone. I’m also afraid that I’m just looking for excuses for people to feel sorry for me… I’m confused :frowning:

Prayers would be appreciated.


#2

It seems that you just want someone who you can talk face to face to share your burden. Currently, you don’t have the problem of addiction any more. But it sounds like you are still haunted by the problem of your past.

Could you talk this to your priest? If you just want to let it out and have someone to share your burden, I think it is much safer to start by talking to your priest. I know you have been to confession before. Talking to a priest about this now is not another confession. It is more like a counseling. Even you have many good Christian friends, keep in mind they may not have the basic background of counseling. Most priests have the experience of counseling, and they will keep the conversation confidential if you request so. As for your friends, you don’t know what their reactions will be. When you reveal it to one friend, it may be passed to the rest of your circle. If that is not what you want, then don’t do it. If your purpose is to let the secret out to someone, I suggest you to find a priest.

At the same time, please keep in mind that your past mistakes and sins are forgiven. Do not allow your past to control your present. Forget the past and run forward.

Hope this helps. God bless!


#3

Start by discussing it with a professional who has an obligation to keep it confidential.

While the promptings you are feeling indicates [to me] that it’s time to talk about it, there’s a chance [especially if there is a ‘cool’ element to your addiction] that what you are seeking is attention, not a more open relationship with other people.


#4

My advice talk to your priest. Many times when we cleanse ourself through confession and Christ forgiveness the devil knows this and trys to mess with your mind. Devil will try to lie to you and give you guilt. Don’t allow evil to seep into your mind with negative thoughts. Pray ernestly to God in Jesus name to rebuke the devil and remove these negative thoughts. Use the armour of God to fight back these thoughts. Talk to your priest.
I’ll pray for you.

“As a man thinks so is he”. Your thinking should reflect Christ forgiveness, keep saying to yourself I am forgiven, I am forgiven and soon this will replace the negative.

God bless you my friend. Have a very Merry Christmas and put this behind you.


#5

Talk to a priest and then go from there. He may recommend you look into counseling (depending on the type of addiction).

Prayers,

KG :slight_smile:


#6

Once an addict always an addict…the disease of addiction will find other ways to manifest itself…it is a mental, physical and spiritual disease. It is cunning and baffiling… There is a saying in AA/NA…you’re only as sick as the secrets you keep. The act of the addiction…and sorry i I am assuming it is drugs or alcohol because that is what I know…but you can go to AA, NA, meetings and learn about addictive behaviors and how much we all think alike no matter what the addiction is…you are not alone. And the 12-step program is very similar to the spiritual exercises of St Ignatious. I am a member of AA and also a practicing Catholic if I can be of any help to you…feel free to email me anytime. Because in order for me to keep my sobriety-I have to give it away freely as it was given to me. :wink:


#7

I am hoping to talk to a nun, or someone more who’s more knowledgeable about spiritual matters, at one point. (I’m a girl and would feel better talking to a woman, that’s why I say nun).
I don’t exactly have easy access to anything like that right now.

I was planning on telling only my best friend, not a bunch of people. I met this friend last year and I have told them about heavy stuff from my past before, and they have kept it a secret. This same friend was also very supportive of me going back to confession and even prayed with me right before I went in. I don’t expect this friend to give me any advice or counsel me, I just really really need someone I trust to just listen to me. And I think this would be easier if I knew I had at least a little bit of support from a good friend, while I figure out what to do about all of this exactly.

There is definitely no ‘cool element’ to my addiction, that’s one of the reasons why I kept it a secret for so long.
I wasn’t planning on telling what this addiction is exactly, just that it was an addiction. I’m not ready to say that out loud, which is why I haven’t said what it is on here. I think I’ll save that for if I talk to someone more ‘professional’.


#8

Hello TheOtherMe…Certainly to speak to a friend that has proved she can be trusted in the past seems like a good move since you do appear to have a need to have someone you can confide with and someone who will be supportive. Someone supportive and totally trustworthy and accepting can be a real gift when engaged in something difficult.

Do be aware though that human beings can be such fickle creatures and we do at sometimes let each other down. I do not want to be discouraging truly, but we need be aware of that re human nature and all human nature. At times too all unknowingly and involuntarily others do not meet our expectations een though well based on our past experiences with them.

But it is almost intrinsic to human nature to need another or others “it is not good for man to be alone”. I will be keeping you in prayer and this is a decision only you can make I think. Certainly do talk with a priest…or a supportive and encouraging nun if at all possible.

This is a journey for you within your overall journey and there may be mistakes etc., along the way, but committed totally perseverance no matter what is a virtue that has its own particular crown : God’s Gift and Blessing of success.

Do be assured that wanting what God wants will mean that nothing at all that does happen, and no matter what it is, is not ordained by Him either directly or permissively…and for the good and for your own particular good and advancing in virtue. “All things work together for those that love God”. In other words by choosing to confide in your friend and trust her will not be upsetting in any way to The Lord, nor offensive to Him in any way at all. Only mortal sin alone can separate us from The Lord and only sin can be offensive to Him.

Barb:)


#9

I recommend you take another route – go see a therapist. The availability of good, professional counselling is yet another of God’s many blessings. Therapy works, if you find the right therapist, which you will, if you really try.


#10

Good advice:thumbsup:


#11

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