I used to have a problem with addiction.
It’s not a problem for me anymore - it’s been over a year since I last gave in to this addiction. I also went to confession for it earlier this year, and ever since then the temptations, if any, are especially weak. So my problem is not that I’m worried I’m going to fall back in to this addiction. I’ve grown a lot closer to God this past year and have learned to replace my addiction with Him.
Here’s the thing - I’ve kept this addiction a secret from everyone for about 7 years now. While I was struggling with the addiction, the secrecy of it all made it so much worse. I have never talked about it with another person.
Lately I have felt far from God and a lot of my friends. I can’t discern anything from Him and when I do I feel like I either discerned wrong or now isn’t the right time. When I’m with my friends, even my close ones, I just feel out of place when I’m with them. (These are my Christ-centered friends too). This addiction has been on my mind for a while now, even after I went to confession. It’s only been recently that I even recognized that this was an addiction I have.
I feel like God might be trying to pull me away from a lot of the things in my life to work something out, and I feel that this addiction is apart of it. Even though I went to confession - I still keep this addiction a secret, just like I did before.
I’m tired of keeping secrets. I’m wondering if I should talk to someone I really trust about my addiction. I really want to. But I want what God wants, and I’m afraid that this will turn out to be a mistake if I tell someone. I’m also afraid that I’m just looking for excuses for people to feel sorry for me… I’m confused
Prayers would be appreciated.