A friend’s daughter has left the Church and has been living with a guy with whom she is now engaged. She plans a civil ceremony. My friend forbade her daughter’s boyfriend to enter their house out of concern that recognizing the relationship would cause scandal for her younger children. Now that her daughter is engaged to the guy, should she let her future son-in-law in the house?
Not to brush off the question, but it is one that only your friend can decide based on what she knows about the situation. Concern for her children’s understanding of virtue is indeed a consideration she’ll have to keep in mind. On the other hand, refusing to associate with her daughter’s fiance – as distinguished from refusing to allow the couple to spend the night together in her home – may well make it difficult for your friend to teach her children the distinction between hating the sin and hating the sinner. A more consistent stand might be to do her best to treat her daughter’s fiance with courtesy but to insist that the couple make other arrangements for their own lodging when visiting the family.