Should my tiny nephews go to church


#1

My sister stopped taking her two toddlers to church with her, since week after week, they were unruly bored and upsetting the whole congregation it seemed.( They are normally, very well behaved). Our mum after noticing their absence inquired as to their whereabouts and completely disagreed with my sister saying that she is totally wrong to leave them behind. She reminded us that she brought all five of us to mass every Sunday, all of us between the ages 0-7. Mum said it doesnt matter that they dont quite understand the mass, that they will get used to it and WILL be learning in their own way and getting to know God. My sister just wants to wait until they are at an age where they dont get outrageously bored. For the record, right or wrong, i have witnessed our priest become irritated by the numerous children that make a noise, and so this added pressure i think made her come to this decision. Who is right?


#2

Well, as I understand it, the boys’ presence at Mass is not required yet.

Is your sister attending? It must be nice for her to be able to really pay attention and have some time to quietly pray at Mass!

My daughter (now almost 10) was an angel and went to Mass with us every Sunday practically from birth. She was happy to sit in the pew and look at books, etc.

My son (now 7) was a total nightmare from the time he was able to crawl! He DID NOT want to be fenced in and would scream bloody murder if we tried to keep him still. So, we stopped taking him. It was too much – no one was getting anything out of Mass because we were too distracted. Instead, one of us would go alone, and the other would take our daughter to a different Mass. We alternated Sundays. I found it really nice to attend alone sometimes. I could really get a lot more out of the readings & homily.

We would take our son every few months to see if he could deal OK yet. It took until he was about 2 1/2 - 3 (so probably a year to 18 months without him) before he could behave. Now we all go together again.

I think your mom is over reacting.

Good luck!


#3

Print out the article from below for your family.

BTW, where is dad?


#4

Until a child reaches the age of reason (about7) and begins to prepare for their first sacraments, they are not required to be brought to Mass. In fact, it used to be very common for families to leave the youngest members at home when they went to Mass.

That said, I do think there is value in bringing younger children to Mass and we managed to get ours to behave fairly easily so it wasn't too much of an ordeal.

If you priest is intolerant of children's noises during Mass, that can make it much harder for a parent who is struggling. If you and your mom are also attending the same Mass, sit with your sister and offer to help keep the boys behaving. It does no good to simply make her feel bad about what was probably a difficult choice.

If you are not able to help her with them during Mass, there is nothing wrong with her decision to leave them home with their father or another caretaker until they are a bit older. However, once they do start preparing for First Confession and Holy Communion, they should be brought to Mass every week.


#5

I have two toddlers, too. It’s taken a long time to get them to learn how to behave at Mass. Our son is almost two and has just figured out that Mass time means quiet time. I actually address this topic in my blog with some suggestions for eliciting good behavior at Mass. They are things that have worked for us thus far.

However, we only have the two kids. It’s not like we have tons of experience. :slight_smile:

But it’s been great for them to learn how to behave, and they’re assimilating important things. Our daughter turned three in October and surprised us by praying the “Our Father” on her own a few months ago. It’s not a prayer we often pray out loud at home, so she only could have learned it at Mass.


#6

The short answer is this: It is good for young children to go to Mass. It benefits the children. It is not, however, required. So if bringing twin toddler terrors to Mass is too stressful for the family, then it is also ok to leave them home for a while.


#7

[quote="ThyKingdomCome, post:6, topic:184813"]
The short answer is this: It is good for young children to go to Mass. It benefits the children. It is not, however, required. So if bringing twin toddler terrors to Mass is too stressful for the family, then it is also ok to leave them home for a while.

[/quote]

:thumbsup: :thumbsup: :thumbsup:

I think it's best if children can come to Mass with adults. That's how they learn to behave at Mass. Children need to learn how to behave at Mass. And they learn by attending. But it's not always reasonable to take young children to Mass.

Perhaps the sister can bring one toddler to Mass. One might be more manageable.


#8

[quote="kage_ar, post:3, topic:184813"]
Print out the article from below for your family.

BTW, where is dad?

[/quote]

Dad is not practicing. Which got me thinking about another subject . I'll title it. I can't find a catholic mate.


#9

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