Should parents send their children to a party in a gay household?


Dear Father Serpa,

Thank you very much for responding to my first thread question. You explained it beautifully. It’s unfortunate that the majority of the parishioners at our church and the parents at the school are so misinformed on the church teachings. The people who oppose the men flaunting their lifestyle are the minority. Everyone else is so caught up in the spirit of tolerance, acceptance and charity that they’ve forgotten how to admonish the sinner.

My next question is regarding condoning the homosexual lifestyle I read with interest a previous thread you responded to: Should I let my child visit a lesbian relative? You wrote:

[A]s a practicing Catholic, you don’t want your child to see their life-style as acceptable—plain and simple.

So, my question is if and when this active homosexual couple invites other children to come over to their house to play with their adopted children, if parents accept the invitation and allow their children to visit their home are they condoning the homosexual life-style and teaching their children that the homosexual life-style is acceptable?

What would you advise parents to do in the event of a birthday party or sleepover invitation at the men’s house? Many families at our school have sleepover/slumber parties at their homes and I can say with certainty that some parents would permit their children to attend such a party because these men are becoming very popular especially with the mothers at the school.

It puts us parents in a very uncomfortable situation because we don’t want to hurt the feelings of the adopted children of these two men but at the same time we need to protect our children from exposing them to a sinful life-style.

As I’m sure you know Catholic schools are close knit communities and it appears that this family is here to stay. Next year they will have a third child at the school and the following year they will have their fourth child so I’m sure these situations (parties, play dates, sleepovers) will be coming up for the next ten or twelve years. Who knows what lies ahead at Catholic high school?

Thank you for your careful consideration on this matter.


Dear GP,

You mention that people seem to be so caught up in tolerance, acceptance and charity that they have forgotten how to admonish the sinner. Well being caught up in tolerance and acceptance does not automatically translate into charity. Charity can only be the product of truth.

To tolerate bad example in a school situation where impressionable children can be easily misled so as not to rock the boat is neither an expression of truth nor of charity. Often true love demands that we say what people need to hear, even though they do not want to hear it. Our Lord did this all the time.

It is a tragedy that the gay couple’s children are caught in the middle. But as for sending your children into their household for a birthday party or some such event, one has to think of one’s own children first. Also, this isn’t just a gay thing. Would you want to send your child into the household of two heterosexual people who are shacking up? Either what Jesus teaches through His Church matters or it doesn’t. It can’t half-way matter. It can’t be half-way the truth. HE HAS TO COME FIRST !

I would suggest that you be friendly with such people, but not friends—and let your children see what charity REALLY is!

Fr. Vincent Serpa, O.P.

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