Should we go to mass to appease our parents?


I was thinking last night about how nice it would be to have family that would encourage me to go to mass every Sunday when I asked my self weather being forced to go to mass is really a good thing.

I was reading the gospel of Matthew last week where Jesus says, “When you give alms, do not blow a trumpet before you, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and in the streets to win the praise of others. Amen, I say to you, they have received their reward.” And I asked myself, “Is it better to goto mass to appease my family or to not goto mass and to fall into sin and soon hit rock bottom and start building my life up again on the rock of Christ?” I think the latter is the best choice but I think it would be great if I had some holy examples in my life.

This is just a few thoughts I had last night and I thought I’d pass them on.

God Bless,


Why in the world would anyone what to “hit rock bottom”. No that is an exceptionally poor choice. In fact calling it an “exceptionally poor” is a huge understatement, but the only other descriptions for such a course may be misinterpreted as seriously insulting or uncharitable.

If the only reason you go to Mass is to appease your parents, then go to Mass. You are far more likely to accidentally stumble upon some important spiritual lesson than you would when you consciously decide to become the dregs of society.

And why would you want to break your parents’ heart that way?


I think that if you are under the age of 18, you should not have your parents “drag” you to Mass, because that’s no fun. :frowning:

Instead, you should go with them willingly, and you should think of all the things that you have to look forward to at Mass, such as blessing yourself with holy water, lighting a candle for the Blessed Virgin Mary, seeing your friends and being with the rest of God’s family the Church, kneeling down on the kneeler to say your prayers, singing and saying the responses with the rest of the congregation, and most important of all, receiving Jesus in the Eucharist. :thumbsup:


It comes under the commandment to ‘honour thy father and mother’. While you’re under their roof, you’ll abide by any reasonable rules, including going to Mass on Sundays, and will do as little whining about it as humanly possible, because in honouring your parents you’re honouring God who gave them to you.


Worship is a verb!


This isn’t the most thought out posting I just wanted to post my thought. and the thoughts I while my head is on the pillow are probably not the most thought out.


But what you’ve posted is so totally out of whack even with your signature - if you recognise that Jesus is present in the Eucharist how can there even be a question about going to Mass on Sundays - purely because that IS the case if for no other reason?


The most holy people I know got saved from sin when they were born, at the time of their baptism, and they started building their lives on the Rock of Christ at that time.

They grew up in the Catholic faith, and they were saved from drugs because they never did drugs, and they were saved from alcoholism because they never abused alcohol, and they were saved from a life of debauchery, because they were too busy praying and doing good works for the poor and for the Church - they just had no time for debauchery.

They were also saved from the life of a high school dropout because they did their homework, got good grades, and finished high school. :thumbsup:

I think that for as long as you have a choice in the matter, you should do it that way, instead of taking the risk of killing yourself (and dying in the state of mortal sin), or worse (destroying your mind and becoming insane), by taking up a life of sin in the hopes that Christ will “save” you from it.

Jesus Himself says, “Thou shalt not test the Lord thy God.” (Matthew 4:7)


I think that its only “dragging me to Mass” when you are exposed to too much secular ideas.

Let me explain briefly.

I saw Mass as “Ok” but for the most part it was an annoyance up till around 8th grade.
My mom took me out of public school and I focused more on my faith, especially in my studies.

For some reason it changed me and I started seeing Mass as something else. It wasn’t an annoyance, but I wanted to go to Mass.

I believe it was the lack of focus and perhaps education on my faith that made me see it as a burden rather than a gift.


I was out of the Church from 16 to about 19, my mom didn’t require me to come to Mass after I turned 18, but she asked me every week if I would go.

I went back to Mass to make my mom happy and I ended up coming back to the Church completely.


you equate “encourage” with “force”?


And one little hour won’t kill you to make your mother and father happy!:tsktsk: If it does, there is probably no nobler way you die than at Mass. And besides, when you’re older, if you live that long, you’ll thank them!


Darn tootin! You listen to -]your mother/-] chicago and me!


Are you 27 yrs old or not?

Were you speaking hypothetically ?

Every Mass attend in you life, every Mass offered for you in your life are much more beneficial than those offered after your death.

It is difficult to force teenagers to attend Mass, esp if the Faith is not really lived at home.

When you awaken, let us know how these thoughts came about-would you?:slight_smile:

It is always better to build a foundation on solid faith-I would not recommend a sinful life to enable one to enjoy a conversion-however, God works in mysterious ways and He allows one to wander off the path SO THAT YOU WILL KNOW THE DIFFERENCE.


In my opinion, I don’t think that it is a good idea to just go to mass because you want to please your parents or any other reasons which doesn’t include you yourself wanting to do it in your own will and liking… I think it is much more fulfilling to feel that you want and yearn to go to mass not just because you need to because of your parents…


And I suppose you’d say it’s not a good idea to go to school if you don’t want to? Regardless of the fact that even if you’re there out of compulsion it has the sideffect where you do actually learn a few things?

We go because God wants us to first and foremost, we go to please Him regardless of if it pleases us, that’s a very secondary consideration if even that.

Did Jesus say ‘Father, I will and yearn to die on the Cross for mankind’? No - quite the contrary, he said ‘THY will, NOT mine, be done’, and gained more merit for His submission to the Father’s will than He would have merely by doing that which pleased and suited Him.



God Bless your parents for the way they raised you. They did a fine job!


I think I know what you’re getting at. I got married young to a man who only went to church because his dad was the pastor. This man didn’t know anything else to do on a Sunday. He seemed moral to everyone in the world, but then when I married him, I learned that he had no interest in loving and serving God. He had no interest in being holy or kind or loving, period. However, he has always gone to church. It’s a habit. As a protestant, he had no prayer life, no interest in reading scripture, no interest in church, and never spoke a spiritual word to me or the children. He kept us from being involved at Church any other day of the week, so when Sundays came, we went, but didn’t know a soul.

He never made his faith his own, and I believe, he thinks he will get in on his parent’s coattails.

So, if that is kind of the scenario you are suggesting in your question, is this kind of church attendance preferable, or is a faith where someone has fallen, like the lost sheep or the prodigal son, better? I think that a real faith, when you have a personal relationship with the Lord and love Him with all your heart mind soul and strength, is better.

BUT, you don’t have to fall away to have that kind of personal faith. All of us are on a journey, and our journeys don’t have to include mortal sin.


Well, they laid some excellent foundations, to be sure. Of course there’s the small matter of walking the talk … :o



From your post, I can tell your parents have given you a good foundation and you already seem mature in your thoughs about faith. That is such a gift.I am so very thankful to my parents for forming me in that way. It helped me greatly when I was a teen and young adult stay grounded in my faith when I could have wandered off.

Don’t forget that your parents have a mandate from God to make sure you do not fall into sin. They made that promise at your baptism.

I suggest that you continue to learn and nurture your faith and let the Spirit lead you. NEVER let yourself intentionally fall into darkness. We are bombarded by the evil one every day. Don’t make the mistake of giving him an entrance into your soul.
Read Mt 4: 7
Jesus said to him: It is written again: Thou shalt not tempt the Lord thy God.

At Mass, meditate on the suffering Christ- the one who hung on the cross to save you. I often challenge people who say that Mass is boring to think about that. Remember the pain he went through in order for you to have eternal life. Don’t throw that back in His face.
I often challenge people who say that Mass is boring to think about that.

You are in my prayers and if you need someone to talk to, feel free to pm me.

God Bless

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