Should we go to the service or not

My family has a friend (very good friend) who got a divorce after 21 years a little over a year ago. Well now he is engaged to a new woman ( a little fast I think). He doesn’t have an anullment nor does he want one. She isn’t Catholic either. I know that this marriage won’t be a marriage in the eyes of God so the question I have is should my family go to the “marriage” or not or rather can my family go.

I appreciate all responses. God bless.



I don’t believe that there are no marriages in the eyes of God unless both parties are Catholic. Even if I did believe that, I would still respect my friend and attend.

I’ve skipped more than one second and greater marriages. A practice I began as a protestant and will continue as a catholic.

No, I would not attend. It is not a valid marriage in the eyes of God, so what is the point? You probably have lots of other good things you could do with the time.:slight_smile:

I go to first weddings only unless that person or persons are widowed.

Although not directly on point, this is an excellent article about attending invalid civil marriages:

Non-Catholics are able to validly marry, and sacramentally marry if they are baptized Christians.

But I would not attend this wedding because it would be presumptively invalid and I don’t celebrate events that I believe are objectively wrong.

Tough question indeed.
I just want to thank jmr for that link to Father Z’s site. Good resource.
Bookmarked it. :thumbsup:

Nope. It would be a source of scandal. You shouldn’t attend even if feelings get hurt.

The Church recognizes marriages that are not sacramental as long as they are valid. In this instance, it would not be a valid wedding.

You and your family should not go to the wedding. I hope I don’t have to make this decision either, I can’t imagine how tough this is.

Go. Nothing says “I’m a sanctimonious jerk” quite like blowing off a wedding over something like this.

Some other points:

  1. As to all the people who say, “if it’s not sacramental why go?” I answer “go because that’s how we minister to others: by the lives we lead, not by hiding and telling ourselves how upright we are.”

  2. Jesus ate with sinners. Why should we not do the same?

Since so many here feel this marriage will not be valid in the eyes of God and that you should not go for that reason…then why don’t you attend for a different reason; because it will be a valid marriage in the eyes of the law, in the eyes of the church where the ceremony is, and in the hearts of the couple and their loved ones?

If you are good friends of this couple and will be seeing them at dinners, parties, and family get-togethers in the future, surely you will acknowledge that they will be married, yes?

Or are you going to continue introducing the woman as his “girlfriend” for the rest of your life, years and years after they get married?

I think that if you are going to acknowledge them as married *after *the ceremony, it makes sense to acknowledge them at their ceremony, too.
And be honored that they want to include you and share this day with you.


I think Catholics should isolate themselves from the rest of the world. It’s the only way to maintain our superiority over everyone else.


  1. Jesus ate with sinners. Why should we not do the same?

I see your point. However I’ve heard this before especially for other topics and it don’t make sense. Jesus ate with sinners to teach them and have them repent and bring them salvation. He didn’t eat with them and say continue to sin or in this case celebrate their sin.

Thanks to all that responded I believe I know what we should do. Thanks again and God bless.

Great link. Love Fr Z.

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