Should we go?


We just found out my husband’s cousin is getting married next year, in Australia. We live in California. I am against going because our two kids are very young and I think it will just be too much for them (and me). By the time of the wedding, our kids will be 1 year old and 3 1/2 years. I think I am worried most about the flight (14+ hours). We have traveled with our oldest, and even a 1 1/2 hour flight was tough. My husband says he will not go to the wedding if we don’t go, but he feels bad because he will miss out. His response, “My cousin will only get married once and I wont make it.” Am I being wrong in deciding NOT to go?


Sometimes it is just not possible to go to family weddings when you have small children. Your cousin should understand this as well as the rest of your family. If they do not, that is their problem.

Feel no guilt - send a card and gift and pray for the bride and groom.


For the reason of going to a cousin’s wedding, I wouldn’t want to go. But if you also got the opportunity to introduce your children and visit with closer family… that might be a “maybe” for me. I don’t think it would be wrong not to go if that’s what you decide is best for your family. I do think you would be brave if you went, though :slight_smile: Good luck!


I would NOT go now - no way in the world - toddlers on a plane for that amount of time, it sounds like torture. But I would start saving my $ to go visit when the kids are a bit older and can appreicate meeting the family & seeing the sites. Is your husband close to his cousin? If he lives that far away I assume he doesn’t get to see him so often? Remind him that it would be a much better visit for both of them if the cousin wasn’t preoccupied with his wedding & your husband wasn’t busy helping care for such little kids.


You have a perfect reason to bow out. I would never in a million years do a flight that long with such young children. Maybe your husband can attend without you?


I think it depends on the temperament of your kids and the timing of the flight. We flew on an evening flight to Frankfurt a couple of years ago. There was a German couple with a child around 14 months and an older child (definitely over three but under 6).

They did fine on the flight. After dinner, the kids settled down and fell asleep without much fuss. Of course, I also don’t know if they have frequently taken such long flights. Maybe the parents gave them some Benadryl or something to aid the sleeping process, too. :shrug:

I think it’s a toss up. But, a good excuse to squeeze in a family vacation, too. Definitely something to pray about. :gopray2:

Whatever you decide to do, it will be as it should be. Don’t regret what you decide.



Unless you’re making a vacation out of it, it’s not worth the stress and expense of a flight to Australia just to go for a wedding.


I wouldn’t go with my kids being that small. If it makes you feel better, I missed my own brother’s wedding because at the time I had a 3 month old baby and didn’t want to make the 14 hour car trip with her. I agree with Carol Marie, save your money and make a trip when you feel the children are old enough. Australia seems like a nice place to visit, and your children can get to know their extended family.:thumbsup:


Suggest the cousin and spouse come to visit you as part of their honeymoon :smiley: Of course, give them a list of nearby hotels and car rental places so they won’t be staying with you or need you to entertain them all the time!


You should go.


Yes, that is possible. But he is very sensitive to our (me and the children’s) needs. He says he wouldn’t go if I decide not to go with the children, because he understands that he has responsibilities here ‘at home.’

I must confess … I am also being selfish in some ways because I tell him that if he goes, then I will have to take care of the two kiddos on my own for however long he is gone. And it’s tough! I’m a stay at home Mom and I can’t imagine not having a small break in the evening, which is what I get when dh gets off work!


Great suggestion. Thank you! :thumbsup: And yes, I agree … a list of nearby hotels would be great. I am sure you understand how tough it is to entertain when you have little ones that require your attention … ALL OF THE TIME!


Just wondering why you think I should go. Have you traveled with children that young, on such long flights? I’m curious to hear your opinions and your experiences.

On a side note: it takes us ***at least ***2 hours every Sunday just to get everyone ready and out of the house … for mass! I can’t imagine getting ourselves - and the kiddies - ready for a wedding … and to have them sit through the reception! Just thinking about the # of diaper changes, feedings, tantrums, whines we’ll have to deal with makes me cringe! :eek:


Why not have you and your husband go and have your parents (or siblings) watch the kids for a few days? This may be the only chance to go to Australia, and if you can afford it, I say go for it. Would you avoid going to Rome with your children right now if given the opportunity? Please take my advice with a grain of salt, I’m an avid lover of TRAVELING!!!:smiley: Any vacation is worth the effort to me, especially with children (I have been to Vegas, MD, NY via plane with my dd in her 2 1/2 years and personally would jump at the chance of taking her to Australia if I had the money).


Thank you for sharing your experience, Stayathomemom. I appreciate it full-heartedly. I kept telling my husband that making the decision to attend the wedding or not would be much easier if we didn’t have any kids, but things are much, much different now because we would be traveling with 2 young ones! :eek:

I am sure your brother understood your situation, right? I have a 3-month old right now and cannot imagine taking him on a 14-hr car trip!

Bless your heart! :hug1:


Thanks for your post, gmarie. My parents or brother wouldn’t be able to watch our kids while we’re gone. Otherwise, we probably would go.

And, if given the opportunity to go to Rome right now with the kids, I still WOULD NOT go! Only because my dh and I have been there already (before we had children) :slight_smile:

I love traveling, too, but would much more enjoy the trip if the kids are older … that’s all.


Plus, a 14 hr plane trip is not worth a pop-in visit for a couple of days stay. It’s a long haul to Australia and very costly.


Yes, he understood.:wink: He was a little upset at first because I am his sister, but he understood once my mom made him realize what he was asking me to do. The wedding was thrown together within 2 months, and it wasn’t even in a Catholic Church:( , so I didn’t feel like I was missing out on witnessing a sacrament:o . Anyways, his wedding and my relationship with him could turn into a veeerry long thread, so I’ll leave it at that :). Good Luck, and I’ll say a prayer for you that you make the best decision for your family.


Sounds like you’re OK w/ hubby going by himself. He’s choosing not to. Don’t let him make you feel like it’s your fault he’s not going. —KCT


It wouldn’t be the filght itself keeping me from going. (We just flew from Italy back to the US with four kids under five.) It would be what to do when you get there. Trucking around little ones would not be very relaxing, not to mention the time change for such a short time. NO WAY!

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