I’m really having a hard time with something going on with my sister. I will say that I’m almost 5 months pregnant and want to make sure I’m not just overreacting b/c of hormones
My older sister (she’s now 39) married and had children young. She has two boys, a 13-yr-old and a 17-yr-old). The older son has been in a bit hard to handle for some years now and there have never been problems with the younger son.
She hasn’t had a job in problably 15 years. She said she can’t work due to the fact that she’s always being called to the older son’s school for different problems. That being said, because her husband is the only one working, her only job is to get these kids raised and educated (not saying that’s not a hard job, but that’s the goal).
A couple of years ago (when the older son was a freshman in high school), she took both boys out of school and chose to home school. The older son was smoking pot behind the school and was to be expelled. The younger son was on honor roll.
The problem is that my sister’s home is not really the best learning environment. Nobody judges her for living in a trailer, but you can’t find a pen or a piece of paper, there are roaches crawling all over the place, the laundry is never done, the place looks like a bomb went off all the time and she’s got these big pit bulls running around all over the place. Oh - and it seems that she just wants to be on the phone or watching TV all day. When she’s not doing that, she’s always YELLING!
She homeschooled (successfully, I might add) for a year. Both boys got their credits and scored high on the standardized tests (they are both intelligent). It got to the point where she couldn’t really do the homeschooling anymore and put the boys back into school. The older son failed out of tenth grade. The younger son did fine. I found out within the last six months that the older son failed out of the tenth grade for the SECOND time and decided not to go back. Of course, I told her he MUST get his GED, but not sure how that went. Last month, my sister asked me for $500 which I gave her (she said she didn’t realize that she "messed up her checkbook). Then, the next month she was bouncing checks again. She got her statement and found out that $600+ was taken over the month from a debit card. I told her it must be her older son. He must have the card and the pin. She would not believe me. Anyway, after a bit, he confessed. He was thrown out, then they had him back again after two weeks (obviously his plan of getting a job didn’t work and the job he had for one week wouldn’t take him back after they fired him for never showing up).
The older son has been on this path a long time, but my sister always refuses to give discipline, etc… When she found out he was being expelled again, she let him go out since it was a stressful day.
I told her that he is almost 18 and better be sure her second son is doing alright with all of the drama.
I found out yesterday that her second son has failed out of the seventh grade and will repeat. She claims she didn’t get a report card, so she didn’t know (this is a typical answer - she’s always the victim of a conspiracy).
My older brother wants to see if she’ll let him live in our town and go to school here (three hours away). I say she will NEVER do such a thing and it will cause more problems if we suggest it. She claims that she’s going to focus on the second child, but (of course, not being a parent myself) her only job was to get the kids through school and NEITHER one made it to the next grade.
I could use some opinions.