So I became engaged about a month ago to a beautiful woman. I couldn’t be more happy. Unfortunately, some of the most common “advice” I get is to recognize that I am always wrong and the woman is always right. In my mind, this just seems wrong. I see my position in every fight as one of these three:
- Wrong. I made a mistake and know it based on rethinking the situation.
- Right, though I can’t prove it. I think she just got unreasonably upset, and it’s not something I should have to apologize for and that there is something else bothering her.
- Right, and I can show it. This applies more when arguing about an important topic like moral issues and Church teaching.
So I know I should apologize in the first case and I should stick to my guns in the third case, but what about the second case? Should I apologize and learn to simply say “Yes, dear” as I’ve been advised? Or should I stick to my guns by try to be sympathetic? I feel that saying I’m wrong and apologizing when I am not can start a dangerous thread of dishonesty throughout the relationship, but I’m just not sure what I CAN do. If I stick to my guns, it simply becomes a battle of the wills. Normally I can “win,” but I don’t see it as winning since I only win after it escalates into a bigger fight. Yet I don’t want to simply lie and get to the point where I feel emasculated every time I have a discussion with my fiance (soon to be wife).
I don’t feel that I did a good job explaining myself, but hopefully others have experienced it and know what I’m talking about.