Shyness, and being a Dominican

Is it possible to be a Friar of the Order of Preachers and be shy, or to be shy and be a Priest in general? Cause i really do feel called to be a Priest, i have for two years now,but im a shy person :frowning: and i can’t do public speaking, i get so nervious :confused:

Steve, shyness isn’t a permanent condition. We can gradually overcome it.
I too was extremely shy as a child, teen and young adult.

Confidence grows gradually with a shift of focus to the needs other other people and how best to help them,
and also confidence grows with careful training and guidance, which you would receive if you are called to become a priest and respond to the call.

God would not call you if He also did not intend to offer the necessary graces.

May God abundantly bless you.

[Exodus 4:10-12]
Moses said to the Lord, “But, my Lord, never in my life have I been a man of eloquence, either before or since you have spoken to your servant. I am a slow speaker and not able to speak well.” “Who gave man his mouth?” the Lord answered him. “Who makes him dumb or deaf, gives him sight or leaves him blind? Now go, I shall help you to speak and tell you what to say.”

The Lord may sometimes give us tasks that seem impossible, and we might questions as Moses did “Why me, Lord? How is this possible?” We forget that in Him nothing is impossible. What we cannot accomplish alone becomes within our grasp when we put out trust in Him and depend on His help. We are always going to have our flaws and our weaknesses. There will be things that worry and scare us. But if we trust in Him and do His will then He will strengthen us and carry us where we are weak. As Saint Paul said, “There is nothing I cannot master without the help of the One who gives me strength.” [Philippians 4:13]

God does not ask us to always stay on the easy path. Christ said that the road to eternal life is narrow and hard [Matthew 7:14]. The path is hard because the rewards are great. There will be difficulties in whatever life one is called to and areas one will struggle with. But if it is truly the will of God then He gifts us the graces we need.

I was the same as you. I used to shake violently when I had to speak for a class project, etc. but over time, it can get better. I am now a professor which requires me to teach as well as present at conferences, etc.

I read somewhere about a Dominican student brother who was in the same boat (very shy but called to be a friar). My suggestion is to speak with the vocations director of the Dominicans in your province, and take it from there. If you have a legitimate vocation to the Order of Friars Preachers, God will give you the strength you need to make that happen.

All things are possible with Jesus! Give the vocation director a call

I know several of the Friars from the House of Studies in D.C. They are great folks.

Shyness (which I share) doesn’t preclude someone from public speaking training. One can still remain shy and develop public speaking skills. Do you get what I mean? Like one thing is a part of personality and the other thing is a learned skill. So, separate…

Anyway, God Bless you on your journey!!! I pray for you!!! :highprayer::hug3::slight_smile:

Steve, don’t be worried. Shyness is something you can get over!! :thumbsup:

I am SOOOO Happy to hear this!!

You will most definetly be in my Prayers!!

and May Our LORD make You a Priest and Saint for the Church!!!

Praying for You Brother!!

Fratere Tuus in CORDE JESU

Frenki Fehervari

The good part about public speaking while shy, and i speak from experience, is that the stomach churning and hand shaking tend to decrease, if not disapear, after 5-10 minutes. Even then, you can focus on your subject and your audience to avoid thinking about how terrified you are. And practice does help. There is a very thin line between feeling nervous and feeling anticipation. In time you may switch over. You will probably never be a showy preacher, but you can be a good one.
And the usual, practice by yourself, out loud, standing in front of an ambo or something similar, until you are fairly comfortable. Then get some friends to make you more nervous, and practice working through the nerves. And when its the real deal, the congregation all have cabbages for heads. :wink:

Exactly. Why don’t you volunteer to lector at Holy MASS? that would help You ALOT!!

Praying for You brother!!

Fratere Tuus in CORDE JESU

Frenki Fehervari

I’m a lay Dominican and love it, and I recommend it for just about everybody, excepting friars and sisters!

The charism is outstanding.

With respect to shyness, here are some notions to pass on to you:

(1) Drop the whole “introvert/extrovert” categorization, if this is something you think about. Fact of the matter is that everyone is a bit of both; contexts count heavily.

(2) Practice makes perfect. The more often you speak before people, the MUCH easier it gets. This includes talking off the top of your head, or extemporaneous speech.

(3) Young people tend to be more shy than older people. Give yourself 10 years and you should have no problem jumping up in front of people, if you have a word to say. (You can observe this in groups). Chances are good you’ll get older: you’ll get less shy, too.

(4) A friend of mine long ago told me something valuable in high school. We were doing a public talk or something in English class. He said that people talking before a group of people get a bit of energy, nervous energy or strength, and the important thing was to CHANNEL this. I wasn’t exactly sure how this was to work, but in practice, you should openly LOOK for this energy and FEEL GLAD that it’s there: it adds ardor and excitement to your talk/lecture/speech/presentation. It’s a GOOD thing; it can enhance what you’re doing.

God doesn’t call the qualified - He qualifies the called. :thumbsup:

While I know that shyness isn’t the same thing as quietness, I do know a Dominican priest at my parish who is one of the most soft-spoken and introverted people that I have ever met in my entire life (and soft-spoken and hushed even for an introvert). But he’s still out there doing his vocation! :slight_smile:

I don’t know where you are at, but I hope you are seeing your spiritual director (or even your local Dominican friar) so you can see where you stand on this shyness issue.

Good luck, and may Mary, Queen of Preachers, help you on your mission!

Amen!! :thumbsup:

Aww, thanks y’all for the wonderful advice, i’ll pray for you (:

And, i think i’ll wait till after im done with RCIA to contact a director, besides, i have no choice anyways xD

I so happy for you that you’re in RCIA. I know it’s something that you’ve longed for. I will continue to keep you in my prayers. :slight_smile:

Yes, Im happy to hear that You are in RCIA finally:

I got one thing to say:




May the SACRED HEART OF OUR LORD make You a Priest, Friar and Saint for Our Church !!!

Im so happy to hear this from You, finally…

May Our Lady embrace You as you become a Catholic!!


You have my support and prayers

Fratere tuus in CORDE JESU

Frenki Fehervari

Aww thanks (:

Its grand to be home, (:

Well, don’t wait too long!! The water is just fine!! Jump In!!

Fratere Tuus in CORDE JESU!!

Frenki Fehervari

Before you do that, have a talk with your Pastor. I believe you’ll have to wait a few years after you are confirmed to start the process of being ordained, but I can easily be wrong. Still, best to find out now so you know what to expect and can plan accordingly.

No doubt, no doubt, i just wanna start seminary already xD

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