Sibling Dilemma


QUOTE=st_felicity;7434363]But you see–the way I understand it–the person you were, was a person who felt at the deepest level his body did not match his feelings. Not that you were in actuality a woman in a man’s body–but rather a man with those “feelings.”

I think sex is like race–you are what the DNA says. You can’t be a Caucasian trapped in a black man’s body–an Asian woman in a Latina body…No matter how one “feels” about it. A person certainly could ACT according to stereotypes of cultural norms, but no matter what one does, it doesn’t change the race.

I think you are dealing in absolutes, and in the case of gender idendity there are more factors involved than just the physical anatomy and chromosomal make up. The terminology of “woman trapped in a man’s body” is a common one. I really have never used that to describe myself. My concept of my gender identity is that I’m female. I don’t know exactly why my realization is my gender identity is that I am female. I just know from my earliest cognition I felt I was like the female individuals I knew, not like the males. It wasn’t really an issue until I started to realize I was being classified as one not the other related to manner of dress, rest rooms, what team I played for in little league etc.

[quote]I have another question–what are your thoughts on people who long to be amputees, or deaf or blind? There is a segment of the population who perceive they are deaf in a hearing person’s body–or that one leg is a foreign body part that does not belong to them and they want to match their body to their perception. From what I’ve read on that “condition,” it sound like the way you are describing your own feelings related to your body and your gender. Do you (as a person trained in psychology) consider a reasonable treatment for a person who’s personal perception doesn’t match the physical reality? Should that person make him/herself deaf? Should that person surgically amputate a healthy leg?

I do understand “feelings”–I’m asking what the rational part of your mind says on the matter.

I don’t consider that to be a valid analogy. Again, it comes back to gender identity. Bringing my physical anatomy into harmony with my gender identity was meant as a positive step to improve my quality of life. The surgical procedure could be considered mutilation if one chooses to see it that way. I was concerned about the organs involved in the surgery, but in the end, a greater good was accomplished. In my case, reconfiguring male anatomy to female, the procedure is relatively less complicated than the reverse, and it maintains most of the structures and innervation that existed. A person wanting to have damaged sight or hearing, or have a limb amputated is desiring to be less than whole. I needed to be made whole where I felt I was not.

Peronally, I don’t think it is something to “cure.” I believe it is something to learn to accept and cope with. A person who is born with a withered hand cannot be “cured” (well–Jesus did cure that :slight_smile: but that was a unique situation). Likewise, I think that some burdens cannot be medically "fixed


I agree, and my parents learned that there was no cure. As for it being a burden to be dealt with, I did try that unsuccessfully. I wasn’t totally “fixed”, having physical maternal capabilities would have been a full solution, but bringing me to the point I am was for me and for the medical professionals I consulted the best solution.

But then, your gender would be “intersex”–not female or male.
Are you hermaphroditic? or XXY?

I am not either of those. When I began HRT, my endocrinologist found that I had a higher than normal estrogen/testosterone level than an average 19 year old male. The classic definition of intersexed doesn’t apply to me, but if you consider brain structure, that could be a possible issue.

You don’t think that implies God made a mistake with you?

I think it’s just a physical issue that was able to be corrected. I realize part of the solution frustrates a portion of the intended function of some of the reproductive structures, but that is not their only function.

I do hope I am not being too graphic with regard to the appropriateness of details for the content of this forum.


[quote="Theresa_Frances, post:21, topic:224330"]

I do hope I am not being too graphic with regard to the appropriateness of details for the content of this forum.


I'm neither offended nor concerned that anything you posted was "too graphic", but perhaps "the powers that be" may have some concern. I appreciate your openness and willingness to answer such personal questions. I pray that God's grace bless you greatly. Peace be with you.


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