Sick and tired of being sick and tired


#1

Well, maybe some of you noticed I hadn’t been around in a while. There has been a lot going on in real life the past couple years.

ONE of those being my husband becoming a drug addict after ten yrs of marriage and four children. This happened last year. After much emotional and financial devastation to our family, I seperated from him to protect myself and my children, emotional, spitritually and financially.

It was difficult but I was very blessed with much loving support from my family and friends, and was blessed to be able to reestablish my relationship with God which as of late had gotten very shaky.

To make a long story short, my husband cleaned himself up, and although I originally had no intention on taking him back, I couldn’t deny his sincerity and felt that reconciliation was what was best for all of us.

He did a complete turn around and was clean for a while. I moved back in with him, and we began the long process of trying to recover financially. He, in one summer, had blown almost 30,000 dollars on cocaine. We are not rich, we are not even comfortable. We struggle from paycheck to paycheck. So, I took on a part time job and we have been making very slow progress, but there has been progress.

In the meantime, the family money has been being deposited in an account that only has my name on it, because of the stealing he had done before. This was his idea, and I readily agreed.

Well, he didn’t come home tonite. It’s midnight. I checked the bank and over the course of the last few days there has been almost 700.00 in ATM withdrawels, and my card is missing from my wallet.:frowning: We had our tax money in there. So I called and had the card canceled. But now I am just so sad.

The children have been thru soooo much, with the sadness over the seperation and the joy of the reconciliation, and now this…

I don’t want to face them in the morning. They are going to be HEARTBROKEN if he is not here, becuase they will know (the 8 and 10 yr old) what happened!

I am going to go to bed, and try to keep things running as usual. But I don’t even know what to say to him if he comes home. And honestly, a part of me wishes he wouldn’t. I am trying so hrd to have a healthy functioning household for my family, but it seems like he is just a flood of pain for everyone all the time. We get going, recover form the last crisis, things are great, everyone is happy and is starting to relax … than BAM … carpet yanked out from under us AGAIN! The world is spinning and nothing feels safe anymore. Is my money going to be here tomorrow, are we going to be without insurance again? My son has a chronic disease. It costs me 800 to 1000 dollars PER MONTH to keep him in in his medicine when uninsured. Without his medicine my ten yr old WILL DIE.

For whatever reason the state has denied him coverage. I am in the process of seeing if I can appeal it or something. But the fact of the matter is. We had REALLY good insurance for the first nine yrs before my husband became a drug addict and COULDN’T KEEP A JOB!:mad:

God help us.


#2

Please know you are in my prayers.


#3

I hope you know how much that means to me.


#4

Hello Ana,
I do remember you and was wondering a few months ago if you were still active on CAF (I became familiar with you when you posted the thread about your son’s 1st communion). I felt so sorry for you then and feel the same way tonight. Thank you for opening up to us. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. I am so sorry you are going through this. You seem like a strong wife and mother.


#5

I don’t pray as often as I should anymore, but I am praying with all my heart for you and your children, and that the best thing possible happens with your husband.


#6

I will pray for you and your family, too.
I’ll also pray for the insurance situation. I think the state often denies coverage automatically, in hopes of you just going away. I will pray that your children get medical insurance so that you can stop worrying about that.


#7

This is VERY true. Keep appealing. Don’t give up.

Call a news station if you have to - tell them about your child’s condition and situation. They can put pressure on the right people.


#8

I’m in Britain, so no idea about the insurance…but there must be a way! Would the richest country in the world let a child die because she can’t afford insurance? I can’t believe it…Try to get help, even ask the church if they can help you apply, because that is ridiculous!

As for your dh…addiction is not generally something you kick and it’s gone…You gave him a chance, and that’s more than most would do, but I think you need to look after yourself and your children now! {{{HUGS}}} and prayers!!!

Anna x


#9

I am praying for you too.


#10

Hi Joya, if I remember right that was a vent about the inlaw’s thread.:slight_smile: Well I am happy to say that since them they have done a complete turn around, and have been very supportive of us. Even today, when my FIL heard what happened, he was here at 8:00 in the morning, to make sure we (me and the kids) had what we needed. He insisted on taking me to the grocery store and filling my gas tank and is very sorry and dissappointed about the situation. I know his mother is devastated too. We all are, my family included.:frowning:

He took my van to the shop, which dh was supposed to do today, but didn’t. He has been sleeping it off, and just woke up recently.

Thank you for your prayers and compassion.


#11

Thank you, NoxSineStella … so much, for praying from your heart for me. Those are the prayers God hears.:slight_smile:

Dags, I would like to thank you as well. I posted last night before I went to bed, because I felt like I really needed some prayer cover, and that this is the place to come. Once again, my friends here at CA are there.

Thank you God for your wonderful and faithful children, please bless them for me and for the sake of Your Precious Son, Jesus Christ.


#12

I just received something in the mail from the state that looks like insurance enrollment papers.:shrug: Weird. (hope, hope)

Looking after my children and myself, is what I am doing. I am tired of our lives revolving around his drug addiction. I want more than anything a Christ centered household. He needs to ship up or ship out. Last time, I left him, and went and stayedw ith my mother, in two rooms with 4 kids. While he lived like a king in our 3 bedroom home. Thats not happening this time around.

Thank you Anna x.:slight_smile:


#13

Now, he is filled with remorse. He “says” he knows that he can’t do it on his own and wants to begin going to meetings. Starting with 90 in 90 days.

I’m tired of words.

The bank said they would reimburse me for the unauthorized transactions, I find that hard to believe, but that would certainly make a horrible situation a little less horrible.

Again, thank you all for your prayers. If you would please please pray for my little ones. They have been through so much. My heart just breaks for them. They are really good kids. So compassionate.

My husband and his problems have been center stage for so long. I wish they could just be kids instead of having so many worries. They love their father so much, and it is so sad to hear my daughter making excuses for him. She says that if we seperate, she needs to go with him because he needs someone to “take care of him” … “my poor daddy would be all alone” she says. Shes only 8. Isn’t he supposed to be taking care of his children, instead of them wanting to parent him? So so sad.:frowning:


#14

I was looking through her school papers today. There was one that she had to write about a time when she felt sad. She wrote about how sad she was when her daddy wasn’t living with her, and how happy she is now that we are together. In her paper she says she hugs him a lot everyday because she doesn’t ever want to be without him again.:crying: My poor babies.


#15

Dear, dear Ana and family,

Prayers for you all during this awful time. Lean on God. He, at least, will never let you down.

Susie


#16

Is “90 in 90 days” the name of a program, or what do you mean by that?

I’m tired of words.

I would be, too.

The bank said they would reimburse me for the unauthorized transactions, I find that hard to believe, but that would certainly make a horrible situation a little less horrible.

That’s great! :slight_smile:

Again, thank you all for your prayers. If you would please please pray for my little ones. They have been through so much. My heart just breaks for them. They are really good kids. So compassionate.

My husband and his problems have been center stage for so long. I wish they could just be kids instead of having so many worries. They love their father so much, and it is so sad to hear my daughter making excuses for him. She says that if we seperate, she needs to go with him because he needs someone to “take care of him” … “my poor daddy would be all alone” she says. Shes only 8. Isn’t he supposed to be taking care of his children, instead of them wanting to parent him? So so sad.:frowning:

I will keep your whole family in my prayers. Addiction is a terrible thing.


#17

Ain’t that the Truth!:smiley:
I could never make it without Him!


#18

Jmcrae, When I said 90 in 90, I was referring to NA (narcotics anonymous), and their policy of doing 90 meetings in 90 days for newly recovering addicts.

It seems drugs have been so much a part of my life. I was a drug addict. My brother was/is, my uncle died of Aids due to IV drug use, my baby cousin ia a recovering heroin addict, and I’ve been there to bury 7 friends who died from drug overdoses. My life has been so saturated with the consequences of drugs that I forget everyones life iisn’t like that. Sorry, I wasn’t more clear.


closed #19

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