Sick of trying to be holy

Do you ever get sick of trying to be holy? What do you do to combat this and get back on track?

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changing up your prayer life can help. I began making novenas

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If this feeling arises, your holiness isn’t natural. The phrase “trying to be holy” suggests that at this stage your attempts at holiness are artificial: you are using the strength of your own will to force yourself to be “holy”, to do holy things, to act in a holy manner – all as you understand or imagine holiness. But that’s not how true holiness works. True holiness comes natural to anyone who has sufficiently been transformed from his old self (the sinner) into the new self (the saint). It is done without the power of personal will or intention. The holiness happens spontaneously, so to speak.

Therefore, it’s the transformation – from sinner to saint – that you should aim for, not any holy behavior in itself. The holiness will follow of its own once the transformation progresses.

And how do you bring about this transformation? You don’t. Only God can bring it about, therefore you beg God for it, and you submit to His Influence. The core method for this is prayer, of course, and abidance in His Presence. There is no substitute for these methods. But be patient. It make take decades, even a lifetime.


Sick of loving God and growing in faith? No.

This is temptation to despair, remember holiness is just loving God above all things.


Pray to God for help and do the next kind and good thing. Maybe that means brushing your teeth, or doing your homework, or helping a kid with their homework, or doing the dishes, or checking up on an elderly relative or neighbor, or having some conversation with God, or something else. Enjoy the day you’ve been given. There might not be another.

The cardinal virtues develop through the repetition of deeds into a habit with the assistance of our natural reason. The theological virtues are unattainable except as a Divine gift. Pray for all this and God will provide in the proper measure at the proper time. He loves you infinitely.



Being unholy isn’t much fun. I spent enough years doing it and got sick of it all.


I am a sinner until the day I die and that means every second of every day I live I have to TRY to become a Saint. I want to be with God in Heaven for eternity so I know what I need to do. I’m human, I fall and I make terrible choices but I am sincerely sorry, I go to Confession and I try again.


Been there, done that. I agree with you.


Just gaze at a crucifix for about 5 minutes…think about the sacrifice that was made so that we could have eternal life. And realize it was sin that made that sacrifice necessary. Then you will quickly desire holiness once again.

Sometimes I do feels almost impossible and I might believe that if it wasn’t for the fact that is exactly what Satan wants us to believe.

I’m not a good person, I’m not a good man, barely a good husband, and I’m only somewhat a good father.

I fall extremely short of what I should be because much that is given much is expected.


I do, occasionally, feel sick of the seemingly neverending fight against the evil temptations and lusts of my sinful flesh. I do, and I think it´s healthy to be honest about these things.

What does indeed help me to move forward is when I realize that sin does me no good. Sin doesn´t only lead me away from God, and my relationship with Him, but it also leads to despair and sorrow. To me, it helps to remind myself that sin will never fullfill me, no matter how much I want it to.

And honestly, nothing is worth setting me apart from God. No sin or any satisfaction at any level are ever going to be worth breaking my relationship to God or potentially even bring me to an eternity without Him.


With God all things are possible. Pray and make use of the sacraments He gave us.

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Are you confusing being Holy with being perfect? That’s probably why you’re frustrated. Not even the saints were perfect. This world is not the realm of perfection. Being holy means doing God’s will to the best of your understanding and ability. It doesn’t mean you won’t make mistakes or fall backwards. The important thing is to want to do God’s will and try as best you can to achieve that.

And keep praying.

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I see you are only recently a Catholic. The first year or two after conversion are often times of great spiritual dryness and even battle.

The important thing is to be involved with your parish and with the church. During social distancing this can mean zoom youth group meetings and virtual conferences or retreats.


I never try to be holy.

Rather, I try to follow Christ.

I got over “trying to be holy” in early adulthood, and started going deeper into Scripture and what Christ calls each of us to do - and me in particular.

I don’t feel particularly holy - or even holy at all - when I struggle to love (not the emotion - rather, the choice) who has grievously harmed me and others.

I don’t find any feeling of holiness when I struggle to be “other directed” rather than “self directed”.

The feeling might be closer to weariness, because at 74 it is still a task; sometime light, sometimes not.

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At times I “get sick” of having to almost always go against what all my friends are doing, what my relatives are doing, what the culture is doing, and I just want to give up my morals so I can “go with the flow” instead of always swimming upstream.

Praying everyday helps, especially saying the rosary everyday.

Looking to my children helps, and knowing I will help them to lead moral lives if I myself try to lead one.

And reminding myself that suffering has value, if not for me for another person or soul who needs it. I think that last one is one that would benefit everyone to believe in, catholic or not.

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Never! Holiness is the beginning and end of our judgment.

Just like the other person said, rather than focus on the exteriors of being holy, what you need to focus on is your interior and then the exterior will naturally follow. I mean, you still need to make a bit of a push to grow in holiness but you won’t have to step so far out of your comfort zone that you reach your state of being exhausted.

In order to modify your interior, I strongly recommend deepening your prayer life and praying as the Saints did. On Padre Peregrino’s YouTube Channel, he’s doing a series on both Catechesis and Meditations. With this, you will be able to pray as the Saints did. Rather than just blindly praying for the graces for a changed interior like that other guy suggested though, these practises should bring forth the interior change you need in a much more reliable way.
Here’s his Channel:

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Holiness in a sense is just being fully and genuinely who God created us to be. While it can involve striving and testing, at the end of the day the pursuit is not meant to be a cause of strife or anxiety, but rather to bring more peace and wholeness to us. And in case we just think that holiness might consist of living up to a certain preconceived image of a sort of austere and stoic sinlessness, a chief ingredient of holiness is love-of God and neighbor. Love is the right motivation for and cause of sinlessness, and a cause of joy within as well. It’s achieved to the extent that we walk closely with God, remaining in Him and He in us. It’s His work in us- and a work we’re to cooperate with. Anyway, I think that using love, and the humility that always accompanies it, as our main gauge for holiness can tell us best whether or not we’re on track.

While many Pharisees and other leaders pointed to their adherence to the law of God to show off their own holiness, Jesus pointed to the words of Hosea 6 in the following passage. The word “mercy” here is also often translated “compassion”.

“While Jesus was having dinner at Matthew’s house, many tax collectors and sinners came and ate with him and his disciples. When the Pharisees saw this, they asked his disciples, “Why does your teacher eat with tax collectors and sinners?”

On hearing this, Jesus said, “It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. But go and learn what this means: ‘I desire mercy, not sacrifice.’ For I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners.” Matt 9:10-13

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Pray to God and ask for the grace to be holy.
This what you feel is desolation, its completely natural and everyone has it though they may not phrase it as you did. Life is a battle I’m afraid and peace will only come after death…but saying that times of consolation do come in between. To help them come quicker pray and ask others to pray for you. Never give up, its only temptations and you can’t let the enemy win. Pick out some Psalms you like and read them when you feel like this to remind you people have always gone through this. Ask Mary to pray for you too and Joseph and any saints you have a devotion too.God bless

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