Thank you all for your answers and advice from my previous thread titled “Please Help”.
I’ve been spending the last few weeks attempting to talk to my husband about our problems: (the use of his porn, refusal to stop, disregard for my felelings, not wanting to talk, etc).
Unfortunately I have been unsuccessfull. He’s always hostile to me. Just the other night I said to him - calmly and softly- that it appears to me he is full of hatred. He said that he is. I thought for a moment. Then I said that he doesn’t appear that way with anyone else like his family and friends. He told me he doesn’t feel that way with them. Just me. He doesn’t want to talk, and doesn’t want to work on this. He won’t leave either though. It’s possible he may have said what he did to get a reaction out of me - which he didn’t get (I went into our room for a while and watched TV and prayed)
HIs attitude towards me changed once I began to take my faith more seriously. In fact I put off going to daily mass this whole year because he didn’t like me doing it. He calls me a zealot sometimes. I often wonder if I’m not fighting him, but something else… He says he “hates” Catholics - yet half of his family are Catholics ( the other half - including him - are Baptist. Now I’ve met many Baptist people and they do not express this rage against Catholics - so it’s not his belief system…)
I don’t know what to do. My heart tells me the marriage is probably over. But marraige is indissolvable. We;re supposed to stay together. I came from a divorced family and I vowed I would take my marriage most seriously…
Ugh!! I’m so confused right now. I think about going to a priest about this, but I feel awkward.
Then there are days when he seems like everything is fine. As long as I don’t breing anything up. I feel like he’s physically here - but not emotionally or spiritually here. I try to get him to a councelor - but that is a no go. He strongly rejects it.
Today he acts like everything is fine despite our conversation a few nights ago. Tomorrow - who knows. If he’s in another mood I will probably be the villian again. I also apologized for my faults in the arguments (I have been very insecure lately - many friends and acquaintences are girls.) He tells me he doesn’t believe I am sincere. :shrug: I’m in a place now where if I do something wrong and I realize it - I have to apol;ogize or I will feel bad.
Ugh -I’m at my witts end.