Sign of Peace (handshake) during Mass


#1

Don't know where to ask this but i have something that really bugs me. forgive me in advance for this but, i have been going to Mass for 3 months now (every Sunday and Days of Obligation) and i have yet to find anyone that shakes hands normally. It is always the ole wet noodle handshake that for some reason gives me the heebee-jeebees, even after Mass from the Priest, it's the same...
so it got me wondering today: Is this normal for Mass? like maybe it has something to do with humbleness or humility maybe??? Am i offending everyone i shake hands with because i actually grip...now i am a woman so its not like i am trying to arm wrestle anyone...i just hate the four finger jingle.:(

and i wont even ask why NO ONE sings the hymns at Mass:(


#2

[quote="dee_burk, post:1, topic:311284"]
Don't know where to ask this but i have something that really bugs me. forgive me in advance for this but, i have been going to Mass for 3 months now (every Sunday and Days of Obligation) and i have yet to find anyone that shakes hands normally. It is always the ole wet noodle handshake that for some reason gives me the heebee-jeebees, even after Mass from the Priest, it's the same...
so it got me wondering today: Is this normal for Mass? like maybe it has something to do with humbleness or humility maybe??? Am i offending everyone i shake hands with because i actually grip...now i am a woman so its not like i am trying to arm wrestle anyone...i just hate the four finger jingle.:(

and i wont even ask why NO ONE sings the hymns at Mass:(

[/quote]

I can't speak for the parishioners, but the priest probably does not give the 'ole grip of doom because he shakes so many hands after Mass. Politicians are the same way. Plus, he has old ladies, kids, etc. mixed in with middle age and younger adults so it is likely the priest has a gentle handshake for that reason. Sometimes there are also cultural issues. Our pastor is from Indian and pretty much every Indian man I've met has had a handshake which is on the more gentle side.

I'm with you however. I was taught early, by my mother actually, to give a good firm handshake and to look the person in the eye when doing it. Its something I've always remembered.


#3

This is something odd to me to. I consider it more of a "touch of peace" rather than a handshake, it helps me accept it better ;). After all, this is a sign of peace, not the conclusion of a job interview!

At my parish, it's more of a "light grip, one shake" not like an actual handshake. I consider an entirely different motion. A handshake would be a "firm grip, several shakes".

Just one of those things! :)


#4

At this time with the serious flu going round…just wave or something.


#5

You can do a bow of the head with whatever words are customary for where you live.


#6

Hey, may try that next Sunday…i can hear everyone;s drive home from Mass - “ya guys know that weird (obviously non-cath) woman at Mass today??? she just kept waving at everyone”, yeah, the one that dropped the hymnal last week during the solemn moment!" :smiley:

Really i did that today and everyone turned and looked at me and i was like “Don’t worry, it was only the hymnal, not the sacred scripture!”:blush:


#7

[quote="dee_burk, post:6, topic:311284"]
Hey, may try that next Sunday...i can hear everyone;s drive home from Mass - "ya guys know that weird (obviously non-cath) woman at Mass today??? she just kept waving at everyone", yeah, the one that dropped the hymnal last week during the solemn moment!" :D

Really i did that today and everyone turned and looked at me and i was like "Don't worry, it was only the hymnal, not the sacred scripture!":blush:

[/quote]

I totally dropped a hymnal the week before last! I think it was before the recessional hymn though, not a particularly solemn moment. Sure was loud though!


#8

And I do not mean a “wave -wave” with lots of movement…but a raising of the hand…and perhaps little bow of the head

(what I normally do…)


#9

We’re not doing the handshake here these days, we just say “peace be with you” and bow slightly.

I would be much happier doing this all year round, flu season or not.


#10

[quote="dee_burk, post:6, topic:311284"]
Hey, may try that next Sunday...i can hear everyone;s drive home from Mass - "ya guys know that weird (obviously non-cath) woman at Mass today??? she just kept waving at everyone", yeah, the one that dropped the hymnal last week during the solemn moment!" :D

Really i did that today and everyone turned and looked at me and i was like "Don't worry, it was only the hymnal, not the sacred scripture!":blush:

[/quote]

Mary: Try "the nod" it works well and you'll like it. No one should be turning to look at you for they should be singing the hymns:D

Peace in Christ.


#11

[quote="Seeker1961, post:9, topic:311284"]
We're not doing the handshake here these days, we just say "peace be with you" and bow slightly.

I would be much happier doing this all year round, flu season or not.

[/quote]

That is what I do....year around. :)


#12

Maybe the people and the priest are sensitive to elderly people who may have arthritis. I'm a woman with a good "job interview" handshake and at Mass I find myself holding back a bit because I don't know ( for sure - upon viewing) the actual physical condition of the people around me.


#13

The order came down from the Arch that we are no doing the peace part of the mass due to the flu going around. But Even though it is not a formal meeting I still try and at least grab the for a shake. The nights give each other a hand shake because of the added camaraderie. but I think it's also good practice for when you are in the work business situation.


#14

This morning we had a different priest celebrating Mass. As he’d done before, instead of shaking hands or some other way of offering each other a sign of peace, he had us pray silently for peace in the Middle East at that time – er, shouldn’t that have been done during the Intercessions??


#15

OH, boy, I hear ya! Every single Sunday I run into this same thing. Most of the time I’m expecting a REAL handshake and I end up getting nothing more than a few fingertips and I’m like… what was THAT?!


#16

A good alternative to a handshake, which I often use if a person I want to acknowledge is out of arm's reach is to simply place your palms together in the prayer position (i.e. held up at chest level) and making a small bow to the person concerned (it's similar to a movement you see in Japanese society).

Otherwise, if I get a limp handshake from the other person, I don't let it bother me. What's more important is the intent - that is to say we make a point of being at peace with one another so that we can be a little more worthy to approach for Communion, and to do so as one community.

There's another reason why I treasure the Sign of Peace....:

I remember on one occasion I couldn't shake someone's hand. It was a weekday Mass, and a gentleman next to me had not risen from the kneeling position for the Lord's Prayer. We got to the sign of Peace and I'd noticed from his expression that he appeared to be in some emotional distress. Every bone in my body told me that he needed spiritual consolation, so I put my hand gently on his shoulder, gave him a smile and wished him peace. The look of gratitude that he gave me will remain with me forever. (Normally I'd never be so forward, so I can only assume this was divine inspiration). I'll never know what his problems were but I do know that this simple act that is part of the greatest thing we can do (i.e. celebrate the Eucharist) has with it such wonderful healing potential. Whenever I read of people who want to do away with it, I just want to tell them that story.


#17

[quote="dee_burk, post:1, topic:311284"]
Don't know where to ask this but i have something that really bugs me. forgive me in advance for this but, i have been going to Mass for 3 months now (every Sunday and Days of Obligation) and i have yet to find anyone that shakes hands normally. It is always the ole wet noodle handshake that for some reason gives me the heebee-jeebees, even after Mass from the Priest, it's the same...
so it got me wondering today: Is this normal for Mass? like maybe it has something to do with humbleness or humility maybe??? Am i offending everyone i shake hands with because i actually grip...now i am a woman so its not like i am trying to arm wrestle anyone...i just hate the four finger jingle.:(

and i wont even ask why NO ONE sings the hymns at Mass:(

[/quote]

Well, regarding the hymn singing, hymns aren't native to the liturgy. We had the office of cantor for a reason. the music for the liturgy is known as the proper, and is usually sung by the choir...now if only choirs would sing them...


#18

[quote="DexUK, post:16, topic:311284"]

I remember on one occasion I couldn't shake someone's hand. It was a weekday Mass, and a gentleman next to me had not risen from the kneeling position for the Lord's Prayer. We got to the sign of Peace and I'd noticed from his expression that he appeared to be in some emotional distress. Every bone in my body told me that he needed spiritual consolation, so I put my hand gently on his shoulder, gave him a smile and wished him peace. The look of gratitude that he gave me will remain with me forever. (Normally I'd never be so forward, so I can only assume this was divine inspiration). I'll never know what his problems were but I do know that this simple act that is part of the greatest thing we can do (i.e. celebrate the Eucharist) has with it such wonderful healing potential. Whenever I read of people who want to do away with it, I just want to tell them that story.

[/quote]

This is a beautiful story. You'll never know what that simple touch may have meant to that man.


#19

[quote="superamazingman, post:17, topic:311284"]
Well, regarding the hymn singing, hymns aren't native to the liturgy. We had the office of cantor for a reason. the music for the liturgy is known as the proper, and is usually sung by the choir...now if only choirs would sing them...

[/quote]

Actually, much of the music of the liturgy is for the ordinaries of the Mass, which are to be sung by the congregation. And in Latin!

Sacrosanctum Concilium 54:
"Nevertheless steps should be taken so that the faithful may also be able to say or to sing together in Latin those parts of the Ordinary of the Mass which pertain to them."

The Kyrie, the Gloria, the Credo, the Sanctus, the Pater Noster, the Agnus Dei are ordinaries. We should all be singing those and in Latin. Imagine that.

Scholas should be singing the propers, which are the introit, the graduale, alleluia, offertorio, the communio.

Unfortunately, hymns have substituted for the propers of the Mass in most places. The processional, the offertory hymn, the communion hymn, etc.


#20

I try to shake hands very gently with elderly people and I often just bow my head towards certain people. Many elderly people have arthritis and you need to be very gentle. :winter: Sometimes at Sunday Mass we compare hand temperature. :winter: At Daily Mass we aren't so silly but some of the attenders won't shake hands. I don't let it bother me.


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