Signs you are called to marriage


#1

I’ve seen countless articles listing signs that one might be called to the priesthood, or to religious life. However, I have never seen anything even remotely similar for the vocation of marriage.

I think most people assume that they will get married unless they feel called to religious life or priesthood. I, on the other hand, unconsciously assume that I will join a religious order unless I feel called to marriage or priesthood.

So what are some signs that one is called to the married life?


#2

It's probably easier to pinpoint the signs that you aren't called to marraige.

(Or at least are ready for it.)


#3

[quote="Allegra, post:2, topic:338316"]
It's probably easier to pinpoint the signs that you aren't called to marraige.

(Or at least are ready for it.)

[/quote]

And what might some of these be?


#4

Here's a good way to tell if you're called to marriage:

  1. Are you human?

If you answered yes to the above, then congratulations, you have a vocation to marriage. That is, all have a natural vocation to marriage--to fatherhood and motherhood. Some are called to live out that vocation differently than others, to live the life-giving, generative love that is at the heart of the natural vocation in a supernatural way, as a celibate priest or consecrated religious. But all of us have marriage as our vocation ingrained into our nature.

If this is confusing, read this, which says it better than I can:

What does this mean? Marriage, as a vocation, is written into our human nature, into our very being. The Catechism of the Catholic Church explains, “The vocation to marriage is written into the very nature of man and woman as they came from the hand of the Creator” (§1603). According to the Church, everyone is called to marriage because they are humans who have been created as either male or female. All men and women ought to have a natural desire for marriage and a natural desire to be a mother or father. This natural vocation to marriage is manifested in these natural human desires.
Yes, every priest and nun, even the Pope, is called to marriage, insofar as they are human beings. Theologically, this can best be understood in what Blessed John Paul II called the “spousal meaning of the body.” This means that the ensouled body, the person, is meant for the gift of self, particularly in marriage. Marriage is something to which every human person is called; it is the “default” vocation for all humans. So marriage, at its most basic level, is a natural vocation, a call written into our very DNA, into the very structure of our being. The married person is called to give himself totally to one person in love, while the celibate is called to give himself to all.

hprweb.com/2012/07/discerning-marriage-as-natural-vocation/

-ACEGC


#5

[quote="Paragon468, post:3, topic:338316"]
And what might some of these be?

[/quote]

Let's see...

You have a sexual addiction that isn't under control.
You can't stay out of debt.
You have a personality disorder that isn't under control.
You aren't open to life.
You aren't able to serve others or make sacrifices for other's needs.
You are chemically addicted and can't stay sober.
You have anger issues, especially that lead to violence.

That's all I can think of off the top of my head.


#6

-Attraction to the opposite sex.
-Desire and presumed ability to have sexual intercourse.
-Desire to have and raise children.
-Understanding of the responsibilities of married life and an ability to meet them.
-Dating a member of the opposite sex who shares a similar understanding of marriage.
-No impediments to marriage
-Reception of your marriage vows by the Church.

…off the top of my head. :slight_smile:


#7

I would disagree that "being a human being" is a priori a vocation to marriage and family.

God nowhere in Scripture promises everybody a spouse.

ICXC NIKA


#8

[quote="GEddie, post:7, topic:338316"]
I would disagree that "being a human being" is a priori a vocation to marriage and family.

God nowhere in Scripture promises everybody a spouse.

ICXC NIKA

[/quote]

Those are two different things though. To say that all are naturally called to marriage, i.e. all are naturally ordered toward it, i.e. it is in our nature as humans to have a spouse ("It is not good for man to be alone") is not the same as saying that God has promised everyone a spouse. That's a bit of a jump. Read the quotation I cited--it is our nature to desire the generative spousal love which leads to marriage and subsequently children. Some are called to live that love in a different way.

-ACEGC


#9

I think what he meant was that everybody is called to a spiritual marriage, but not all of the same type. A priest is married to the Church, religious are married to Christ, and married couples… Well, that’s obvious :stuck_out_tongue:


#10

[quote="Paragon468, post:9, topic:338316"]
I think what he meant was that everybody is called to a spiritual marriage, but not all of the same type. A priest is married to the Church, religious are married to Christ, and married couples... Well, that's obvious :P

[/quote]

That's sort of what I was driving at (the priest who wrote the article I cited too), although I didn't say "spiritual marriage," but "natural," in that all, by human nature, are ordered toward and thus have a vocation at the natural level to marriage.

-ACEGC


#11

Edwards quote says it all. If you have no desire to get married, then you have a problem!

The idea that marriage is a supernatural vocation is probably one of the reasons why so few respond to the higher calling. They feel like getting married and therefore assume that they are not meant for religious life.


#12

I don’t know if I’m called to the married life, but I do know I have a calling to parenthood. On about 4 or 5 separate occasions I’ve had a small child take my hand thinking I was his/her father. It usually terrifies me at first when it happens because of the persecution of men as perverts and pedophiles in today’s society, so I usually pull away as fast as I can. But since it’s happened so many times I feel it’s God calling me to be a parent.


#13

Parenthood is a blessing and a joy. It will be wonderful if this is your vocation. Because you feel so certain God is calling you to parent, He is also likely calling you to married life, since it is through the vocation of marriage that individuals normally become parents. Otherwise, it’s possible that you’re being called to “parent” a parish or a school and offer guidance to the little ones in your charge.


#14

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