Hi, I’m sorry if this is posted in the wrong place. Also, my first question contains sexual references, and I’m sorry if this is offensive to anyone - I would be more than happy to delete it if it causes offence.
I just wanted to ask a few questions about impurity and sin, I think more for my peace of mind than anything.
Recently, I’ve been constantly dealing with temptations regarding impurity, and I’m fairly sure I’ve been successful at dealing with them. Despite this, I’ve been having a lot of unwanted arousal, which I have been trying to ignore. A little while ago, I read a section of a story which featured romance/love - nothing explicitly sexual, except a small reference - but, as usual with everything recently, it caused sexual arousal. However, I can’t stop worrying that I committed a sin. Usually I’m reassured by the fact that it is unwanted thoughts or feelings which cause this, but I feel as though I’m responsible this time because I purposely read what caused it. I know that I did not read the story in order to become aroused - it was for the fluffy ‘warm fuzzies’ of reading something romantic (if that makes any sense…) - but I knew that it would likely be a result of reading it, and I intended to ignore it as usual. After a short time, I stopped reading because I was worried that God might be offended. Would this be considered a sin?
If I am ever unsure over whether a sin was Mortal or Venial, and I decide after evaluation that it must have been Venial, but I was wrong and it was actually Mortal, would I be faced with this for the rest of my life and after I die? Or, in other words: I believe that the above was Venial at the most (which is still awful, I know), since I am unsure about it, did not put sufficient thought into what I was doing, ect., but if I was wrong and it was actually Mortal, would this mean that I would spend the rest of my life unknowingly in Mortal Sin?
I’m sorry if my post was confusing, and I’m thankful for any input at all.