I agree with bilop.
But for now, I will say that we do sin a great deal. Jesus said that even the just man falls seven times a day. But He also said God loves us. How does that make sense?
The Bible says we are made in the image and likeness of God. That being the case, we can, in some measure, see things as God does. So we can see the potential for sin everywhere if we pay attention at all. We can see selfishness in even our most unselfish actions. (We feel good about them, don’t we? That can be seen as selfish.) If I eat a hamburger, I know that somebody in the world is starving. How, then, do I get half the hamburger to him or her? Maybe, not being emaciated, I should somehow get the whole hamburger to him or her. Do I have a moral justification in even drinking clean water? In a sense, I don’t, and sin in drinking clean tap water because I’m not sharing it with somebody who doesn’t have clean water.
But God created us as we are; as mixed creatures who constantly fail at the perfection we feel we must have to “deserve” being in the presence of God.
Is God’s purpose in creating us to put us here and expect perfection of us? If so, we would rightly be terrified of Him because He has set us an impossible task, with the most horrific consequences if we fail in it.
But we are told that He loves us and want us to love Him. That’s a whole different thing isn’t it? Remember when Jesus admonished the disciples about their notion of the Fatherhood of God? He asked whether, when a son asks his father for a fish, does the father give him a snake? When the son asks for bread, does the father hand him a stone? It is the very “parent-ness” of God that Jesus tried to impress on the Pharisees and on the disciples.
St. Therese of Lisieux, one of the “Doctors of the Church” and therefore worthy of belief said an astounding thing. She said that if she committed every sin there was to commit, she would not be afraid of hell. Why would she say a thing like that? Because she “got it”, that’s why. She loved God. She tried to avoid offending Him, not out of fear, but out of love. She knew God wanted one thing only…her.
We often feel awfully unloved in this world. It’s a hard place, and we sometimes take our notions of God from it. But the worlds’ ways are not God’s ways.
Again, I encourage you, as bilop did, to get a spiritual director and follow his/her advice without question. But I also want to tell you one of St. Therese’s stories; the one about the rabbit.
A rabbit suddenly became aware that he was being hunted. The hunter was a king. The rabbit ran, but the hunter gave chase. The rabbit dodged through thickets and over rocks and did every rabbit trick he knew to elude the hunter, but the hunter only gained on him. With each stride, the rabbit’s fear mounted. The hunter got closer and closer, and the rabbit’s heart boomed with terror. Finally, the rabbit ran into a sheer cliff he could not climb. The rabbit was utterly exhausted. The king rode up close to the rabbit, weapon in hand.
What did the rabbit do?
With his last ounce of energy, he leaped into the arms of the king. The king had pity, and the rabbit was saved.
Think about that story while you are hunting for a good spiritual director. God is that king/hunter, and you are the rabbit. He wants you to leap into His arms.