I just got back from confession, and as I was examining my conscience beforehand I tried to consider whether I had committed a sin of presumption or not. In the past I confessed this because I heard it was like sinning almost apathetically with the thought that you can just go to confession afterwards. Often times I’m not sure if this is actively in my mindset though.
In this case, I had really been trying to resist temptation for a particular sin and didn’t plan on going to confession that day. I failed to resist the temptation and went to confession this afternoon, and often in such cases I tend to get rather demoralized and find it much harder to resist sin when I feel I need to go to confession. With this being the case it’s almost like a domino effect; once I feel I’ve committed a mortal sin it just suddenly gets so much harder for me to resist temptation when I feel I’m already in a state of grave sin and I end up committing the sin more than once.
Often times, “just to be safe” I’ve mentioned the presumption aspect in confessions and making my uncertainty about it known. One time a priest told me that I didn’t need to confess this type of presumption and that sin of presumption was believing you’re forgiven without ever repenting.
It’s just very confusing to me because it almost requires thorough psycho analysis to examine my own motivations in committing a particular sin. Did I sin just because of the strength of the temptation? Or did I sin because of the temptation combined with knowing that I was going to confession later anyway so I felt it ultimately wouldn’t matter? These kinds of questions disturb me, because I never really feel certain of what my mindset was. And if there was the thought of “Im going to confession anyway” I don’t truly know if this was a thought I was aware of when committing the sin or if it was just swirling around in my subconscious, making the temptation more appealing.
At first I didn’t think I should confess such a thing today because I wasn’t certain that I explicitly had such thoughts, but later I said I might as well mention it just to be safe. But then during the confession I forgot and remembered as the priest was about to absolve me. I wondered if I should have interrupted him and added this to my confession, but quickly decided to stay silent reasoning that I wasn’t totally sure that I committed such a sin anyway. Was my confession valid?