Sin of Scandal?

Now I understand we shouldn’t do things that might imply we’re living immorally, even if we’re not because other people get the wrong idea. But, shouldn’t everyone be held responsible for their own behavior?

I am convinced that you cant avoid scandal for many different situations.

For example, I am a single, chaste, celibate man. I don’t look like a bum or anything and I take care of myself, but when people find out that I am single, they smile and say “Oh you’re a player. I wish I was a bachelor getting all kinds of women and sleeping with them all the time like you.”

Now, it just so happens I dont get any women at all. And I dont even have any female friends whatsoever. But yet, they view a successful young man whos single as a player who sleeps with half the town. Do i bear any sin for this impression that they have made up in their own mind? Is being single for some people a sin, since it leads to scandal?

You are not responsible for the assumptions others make about you. But, on the other hand, you could disabuse them of the notion–if they make such statements to you directly, you could respond, for example, “That is just not true. I am a chaste man.”

Perhaps you can remind them gently and remove any doubt in their minds that you sin in that way. “I understand how you might get that impression but I’m committed to following Christ and am true to His Teachings.”

People will form their own impressions and, yes, they are responsible for their own thoughts and actions. By wishing they could live a life of sin, they confess to you their own weakness. While you are not a priest and cannot offer them absolution, you can gently remind them of the faith and encourage them to think introspectively so they can remove impure thoughts of their own.

God Bless you.

The sin of scandal is not simply that other people think you are committing a sin. The sin of scandal is leading others to commit a sin through your words and deeds.

I don’t see how this could possibly be considered “scandal”. If these people said that your “example” led them to cheat on their spouse, then that could be considered scandal if you did something to encourage it. I don’t see how being a young single guy would do that, though.

You cannot stop people from thinking whatever they are going to think. That doesn’t make you guilty of scandal.

Well there’s two problems here too.

One is they say, “Oh yea right, youre just being modest. A true player never brags, good job.” Something like that.

The other is, for the people who make this stuff up in their mind and never speak to me. So there isnt an oppurtunity to correct them, they may just go on thinking wrongly of me. Their perception of me may or may not cause them or encourage them to sin, who knows.

Absolutely NOT! You do know, don’t you, that Jesus was single!!

In your case, no. I’m not you, but my thought would be to simply say, “I’m not a player.” If they don’t believe it and have never seen a woman with you, they are imagining what they want to imagine. I was told that “You must have a secret family somewhere because you’re home so rarely.” No, I don’t. I work 12 to 15 hour days and 7 days a week on average. So does a friend of mine.

The bills won’t pay themselves, and for me, right now, having a girlfriend would just not be a good idea. She’d rarely see me. Rest easy. Sometimes people think that ALL single guys are exactly alike or at least, like them.

Peace,
Ed

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