Sinful drinking: not to get drunk but because of pressure


#1

First I’ll start by saying that I tend to take a lot of time trying to decipher what is mortal sin and what is not (and I’m planning on getting help for this).

So tonight I was out with my cousin at a couple of pubs having drinks and listening to music. This really isn’t my scene in the first place but she’s invited me before and given that I don’t see her frequently (she lives in the country I am studying abroad in) I accepted her invitation and went with her to spend time together.

I don’t too much like the taste of alcohol in the first place but I do like having ciders/wine coolers or wine once in a while. So I chose a cider which contains two “servings” of alcohol in one bottle. I paid for that and thought that’d be my drink for the night. A bit later she finished hers and got up and asked if I wanted the same kind again. I thought about it and I didn’t really want another drink. But she was offering to get it, assuming I wanted another, and I expected that we’d be staying a while longer. So I just said yes. I tried to take that one slowly-didn’t really want to finish it or start it at all but I felt it would be rude as she bought it for me.

I don’t think I got “drunk.” However I did have the beginnings of that numb sensation happening. I could talk clearly, walk, all of that. But I did feel the alcohol. I know that my tolerance is low, and I knew that having four drinks would make me feel something even though it was just 4% alcohol for each serving.

I didn’t have those two extra because of any desire to get drunk or feel anything at all from it though. I had them because I didn’t want to be rude. Also because my cousin drinks more than I do and I felt that pressure, as silly as that probably sounds.

Is this a sin? A mortal sin?


#2

Probably not. You didn’t get “drunk,” just tipsy. The fact that it was illegal makes it sinful, but it is not a grave matter, since you didn’t harm anyone and didn’t become incapacitated, so it is probably just venial.


#3

What did I miss? What was illegal about the situation?

To the OP, I don’t think its a mortal sin. You stopped when you began to feel “tipsy”. I’d use the situation for experience in what you can and can not tolerate in the future. If in doubt, talk to your priest next time you go to confession.


#4

It was legal actually as I am of age in the country I’m studying abroad.

Thank you for your thoughts. :slight_smile:


#5

Well, since it was a question about drinking and morality, I guess I assumed that the OP was under the legal drinking age. Apologies if this is incorrect. If he/she if of age, then nothing was sinful, since op stopped upon feeling tipsy.


#6

If you didn’t drive or otherwise seriously endanger anyone, It doesn’t seem as if you were sinfully intoxicated–intoxicated to the point you lose the use of your reason.


#7

Let your “no” mean “no” and your “yes” mean “yes.” You’re fine, you didn’t lose control over your self or your actions. Quit stressing!

If you don’t want one, just say so.

I’m not a big drinker, but my DH used to hang with a big drinking crowd- I got tired enough to being asked/brought a new bottle or drink I used to just bring a beer bottle filled with water to parties and refill the thing!


#8

I don’t too much like the taste of alcohol in the first place but I do like having ciders/wine coolers or wine once in a while.

I thought about it and I didn’t really want another drink. But she was offering to get it, assuming I wanted another, and I expected that we’d be staying a while longer. So I just said yes. I tried to take that one slowly-didn’t really want to finish it or start it at all but I felt it would be rude as she bought it for me.

I don’t think I got “drunk.” However I did have the beginnings of that numb sensation happening. I could talk clearly, walk, all of that. But I did feel the alcohol. I know that my tolerance is low, and I knew that having four drinks would make me feel something even though it was just 4% alcohol for each serving.

You know your tolerance is low. You also have revealed you think less of yourself than you do someone else. You can solve this problem of discernment by commencement of thinking of yourself.

If you believe that your friend is going to be offended by not taking an offering of a drink, then get another friend.

If your friend is truly your friend and you say, I would rather have lemonade, your friend truly being your friend will be your friend.

If you start recognizing that you have low tolerance, are not obligated to do anything that you do not want to do for anyone, then you won’t be having to discern anything. Make decisions for yourself, not someone else.


#9

Next time, when you’ve had what you want to drink, start drinking soda or a non-alcoholic drink. In this way, you continue to spend time with the person/people but aren’t drinking
more than you want.


#10

From what you have described, it doesn’t sound like anything sinful.

But I do hope you will look at this as motivation to be willing to say no. It really is okay to do. If you don’t want another drink, just say so. Don’t let people pressure you into doing something that makes you uncomfortable out of a misplaced desire to be polite. Stand up for yourself. :wink:


closed #11

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