My sister is having problems in her marriage. Some background info… They’ve been married for 3 years now, with no kids. She is Lutheran, he was brought up with no religion basically, but believes there is a God. He was baptized in the Lutheran church a year ago but he is in the Navy, and they have been stationed over in Italy and there are no Lutheran churches of their denomination over there, so they don’t go to church.
In mine and my parent’s opinion, they married rather quickly, and probably weren’t mature enough to make the decision to marry, but that is their decision and not much we can do about it. It’s also different because the rest of my family is Lutheran, I’m the only Catholic (converted 3 years ago)
So in any case, my sister tells me that they often have fights and both are rather unhappy. Her husband recently said “Well, maybe we should just get a divorce” See, in his mind, there’s nothing wrong with divorces, and in Lutheranism, divorces are rather common and not as looked down upon as in Catholicism.
I know from the way my sister has always been, she’s more of a pessimistic person and looking at the glass as half-empty. He’s more passive and I know does honestly try to please her. For instance, she will always tell him to take the dog out, she won’t do it. And it was just her birthday and so he was going to make her cheesecake, and she goes “I bet it won’t turn out…” But he also has issues. He watches porn and lies about it.
So I’m really looking for things I can suggest to her to help their marriage without being too Catholic or out of my place. I’ve seen people suggest watching the movie Fireproof for those in troubled marriages. Do you all think that would be something good that I could buy her and send to her? Or is that out of my place?
I struggle with wanting to help so bad because I don’t believe in divorce, but I don’t want to over-step my bounds… And I know there’s only so much I can do because it isn’t my relationship. But I know that if I just stood by and watched their marriage fall apart and didn’t say anything about it, I would be angry with myself.
So, any suggestions?