My husband and I have been married for two years, and we are doing heavy renovations on the house we bought together. Since I am pregnant and our daughter is only 11 months old, I have been staying at his parents’ house for a couple of weeks until he can get the debris out and seal off the unfinished rooms for now. I am so grateful that they have been letting me stay with them. However, I am struggling with a predicament with my husband’s 26 year old sister who also lives with her parents. My husband’s sister is a compulsive liar, and it has bothered me since my husband and I started dating 4 years ago.
A little back story, my husband and his siblings have suffered a lot because of their sister’s compulsive lying. My husband says that it started when she was 3 - telling her parents that her siblings were hitting her, etc, which got her a lot of attention. My husband would try to explain to his parents that she was lying, but their response was often, “Well, she’s crying, so it was obviously real to her,” or “We have to let her imagination grow.” She was never taught not to lie. My husband said that when he would get punished for the lies she made up about him, his sister would smile at him from behind her parents’ backs. Both of my husband’s siblings have verified these stories and say they don’t take any stock in anything their sister says.
Since I am now dealing with the lies on a daily basis, along with some backseat parenting to my little girl, I am wondering what I can do, if anything. I have recently found out that my sister-in-law has been telling people that I’m “super depressed” (I’m not). This makes me nervous about her eventual influence on my children and what she could be making up about me or my husband that could bring repercussions upon us in regards to being seen as fit parents. I’ve heard her slander many people before. She recently told a mutual friend of ours that another mutual friend was doing acid, which was very false. She also constantly tells me and others that my own 56 year old father texts her and messages her on facebook from my mother’s smart phone. One time she told me that my father facebook messaged her from my mom’s smart phone during Mass “I’m in church, and I’m bored. You should come visit me.” When I asked my mom and dad about this, my mom told me 1) that she ALWAYS leaves her phone in the car during Mass 2) that my father can’t remember her phone’s pass code, let alone know how to type on a smart phone, let alone know how to use facebook messenger.
My husband and his brother can barely stand to be around her, and I’m concerned. I don’t know what to do, but I do care about her and the family. It’s hard to stand by and watch my sister-in-law hurt herself and others like this. P.S. On the rare occasion when my husband has confronted her on the validity of her statements, she has exploded.
Would talking to her as a family help? When she’s confronted one on one, she basically is able to rage that person into a corner to avoid facing the truth. If multiple people are voicing their concern at once, would that get through to her? Or is this something I need to let go?