Sister wants to get "married"


#1

My sister told me about 5 years ago that she was struggling with SSA, and about 3 years ago decided that she didn’t want to “struggle” with it anymore, and began dating. :frowning: She called me last night to let me know that she and her current partner want to get “married”. I live about 8 hours from my sister, and we don’t talk that often, so were it not for my mom, I would not have even known that she was dating this person. I really didn’t know what to say, so I just said a simple “congratulations” (with an obvious sound of surprise and disbelief) and tried to change the subject. I don’t think that she will ask me to participate in the ceremony or anything, as she knows that I don’t approve of the lifestyle she lives, but I just really don’t know what to do other than to pray for her. Also, her partner has 2 young children from a previous heterosexual marriage, and it breaks my heart that those children are being raised in such an environment. So I guess if anyone has any advice, I certainly welcome it, and of course prayers are greatly appreciated!


#2

Hi, just reading what you wrote and wanted to acknowledge that you have my prayers. I think it is nice that you said congratulations and I know you want to support your sister, without showing approval of her lifestyle. I guess you can’t go to the wedding, but you can still be her sister and love her and spend time with her when you can. It must be incredibly hard for her to have SSA. I know it is hard being a sibling to someone with SSA - my brother too is gay. He is not in a relationship though, but I am sure if he could find someone, he would be in one.

There are on easy pieces of advice on this one. Just know you aren’t alone and you are being a good sister :slight_smile:


#3

Thanks Sina! It is good to know that I’m not alone. It’s so hard sometimes to love her, but still try to be true to my faith and not support her (without her taking it as my no longer loving her), especially since I’m the only Catholic in my family. I will pray for your brother as well. :slight_smile:


#4

So… Excuse my question, but does she live in a state that has same sex (marriages, unions, partnerships)? If not, how does that work? If it isn’t recognized in the state you reside in?


#5

To be honest, I’m not really sure how all that works. I know that there is not a way that they could have a legal same sex “marriage” in the state where she lives, but I don’t know if they were to have the ceremony in a state where such a thing exists whether it would be recognized when they returned or not. I don’t even know if they are concerned about a legal marriage, or if they will just be “domestic partners”, and just want some kind of symbolic ceremony. :shrug:


#6

Maybe she is getting it blessed by someone? I think there are states now where you can get married if you are SS right? It’s certainly the case in Canada.

There are lots of people living in sinful lifestyles. We can’t really do anything about it, but if we let the family or friend know that we don’t approve, but we are there for any help, then I think that is the proper way to go.

Although… I don’t think many of us are armed with how to “help” someone who has SSA.


#7

I think “congratulations” implies approval.

I think this reminds me of what Jesus said about father being set against son, mother against daughter.


#8

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