Sister who lies


#1

I hope this is the right place for me to post this. I have a sister who lies. About everything. All of us siblings are grown adults with families. Except her. She is on her 3rd “major” relationship in three years. (No children) She is NOT on a good path, and I can see this. I’ve tried to talk to her, but she doesn’t think she is doing anything wrong. Right now she is on the verge of cohabitating with her new male “friend”. She knows I am against this. Her response is, “But everyone does it!” And I told her, “But that doesn’t make it RIGHT.” She thinks I’m being old-fashioned. Nope. I’m being moral.

She is promiscuous, immature, immodest, and confrontational if you look *twice *at her. To top it off, she lies constantly. She cannot be truthful about whether she went to WalMart or Target, or what she had for lunch. It is maddening. She is close with my oldest child, who looks up to her. I don’t want my child using the filthy language my sister uses, dressing like her, or acting like her. I LOVE my sister, but I do ***not ***love how she acts. My child is a teenager and tells me that she is aware of how her aunt is and assures me she will not be anything like her. Of course, I worry anyway. If I prevent my daughter from hanging out with her or going off with her, this will cause family problems. I am not sure what to do.

My main problem I would love some advice on is this: I know that we are called to judge not the person, but the actions of someone if they are sinning against God… but how do you come right out and say, “Hey, I am tired of all your lies!” I don’t want a family war… I just want my sister to straighten herself out for her own good and be a better example to the children in the family who love her and look up to her. I hope this made sense. Thanks in advance everyone!


#2

Sounds like the only thing you can do is set boundaries. And I hate to break it to you but even the healthiest most reasonable boundaries can cause a family war if the person who is being ‘constrained by someone’s boundary’ does not like it.

I would not say ‘I am sick of all the lies’, I would say something like I don’t fell I can always trust you are telling the truth and if it is going to continue I will not be available for as many conversations.

As for your daughter that is tricky because as a teenager, it is time she starts choosing her own friends. As long as your daughter’s behaviour does not change into something like her aunts, I think the best is to pray for acceptance

God Bless

CM


#3

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