Situation Birth Control Question


I will lay out the facts and I hope to have some valuable information given to me.

  1. Husband is convert to Catholicism.
  2. Wife is still Protestant.
  3. Husband wants to be faithful to the Church in the area of contraception.
  4. Wife wants to continue taking the Pill.
  5. Husband has informed her of all the reasons the Church teaches against artificial contraception and has informed her of NFP.
  6. Wife is obstinate and gives no hint of changing her mind and has developed a tremendous amount of animus over the subject.

Question: Is the man, in participating in the marital act, participating in moral evil?

If the answer is yes, then even good of the unitive aspect (not to mention the good of lowering the tension between husband and wife - possibly saving the marriage) is of no consequence. One cannot commit an intrinsically evil act even in an attempt at a good end.

Thanks for any help.



The Catholic Church allows one to have relations with a contracepting spouse to preserve the marriage. The person must have sincerely tried to inform and sway the spouse otherwise and sincerely want to do otherwise themself as the circumstances say this person has. The method of contraception must be used by the contracepting spouse…like in this example the wife is using the pill. The church teaches that this is AH-OKAY.:slight_smile:


Well, no it doesn’t teach it’s “A-okay”. It teaches that it may be tolerated under certain conditions.

The document Vademecum for Confessors is a document written for priests who counsel people in this circumstance and you can read it here.

I suggest the OP read the document and then go for spiritual counseling from his priest. The OP shouldn’t undertake this alone, but rather with spritual direction.

Also, the potential abortifacient properties of certain contraceptives-- including the Pill-- add an additional layer of moral complexity and that is also addressed in the document and should be discussed with a priest.

(And, people wanting to debate the abortifacient properties of the Pill should take it outside this thread to its own debate).


Yes, and the non contracepting spouse should on occaision revisit the discussion to make thier opinion known on the subject.

Now you do have the possibility of abortion here with the pill. Although it is not supposed to happen often there is still some risk. The husband may want to do something about that . Like have wife take an ovulation test or abstain for the 10 days mid cycle .


Sticking my nose in here. I just wanted to thank Seatuck for the reference about The Pill possibly being an abortificant. I had no idea. I can certainly see why the Church would be against it now (yeah, I’m one of those types that need to be whacked over the head with a brick before I clue in!).


Thank you guys so much.


Would she be willing to listen to an audio cd on contaceptives? It’s narrated by Janet E. Smith. It’s called “Contraception, Why Not?”

Here’s the written version:

Here’s a link to where you can get a free copy of the audio cd:

Maybe, just maybe, your wife woud change her mind after listening to this. It helped me with my JW husband.


Is the man only using Church teaching as his reasons for wanting his wife off the pill?

Maybe she needs to know how bad it could be for her health. That her husband loves her so much he doesn’t want to see her risk her health.


This is a really good idea. The pill is harmful. It increases the risk of certain disease including cancer in women. You can do a search for these unpleasant and risky side effects.


The issue has been fully discussed. Fully. Janet Smith’s CD has been listened to. The wife is not onboard, does not agree with Catholic teaching, and is determined to stay on the Pill.


God can change her heart. I’ve seen it happen.

Continue to pray and sacrifice for her.


As Tim Staples said on CA live last evening - we are not called to bring heat, but to cast light. Prayer and love and fasting are the most powerful means to bring light to her heart.


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