Sleeping over at friends houses...?


#1

I've just been thinking lately over whether or not it is right to stay at a friends house overnight if one of your friends who is of the opposite sex, is also staying???
Is it something that is ok to do??

I know it would definitely be wrong if we were to stay in the same room, but what about if we are all in separate rooms?

Any help would be good :)
Cheers!


#2

Of course not. As a Catholic, you are not allowed to hang out with anyone of the opposite sex.

I am utterly insulted at this question.

sense the sarcasm :rotfl::extrahappy:


#3

[quote="live4life, post:1, topic:220323"]
I've just been thinking lately over whether or not it is right to stay at a friends house overnight if one of your friends who is of the opposite sex, is also staying???
Is it something that is ok to do??

I know it would definitely be wrong if we were to stay in the same room, but what about if we are all in separate rooms?

Any help would be good :)
Cheers!

[/quote]

It also depends on the age group involved. Young children I see no problem with sleeping in the same room. However, by highschool, particualarly senior year, and above I think it would be a bad idea.


#4

[quote="live4life, post:1, topic:220323"]
I've just been thinking lately over whether or not it is right to stay at a friends house overnight if one of your friends who is of the opposite sex, is also staying???

[/quote]

There is nothing *inherently *wrong with doing so.

[quote="live4life, post:1, topic:220323"]
Is it something that is ok to do??

[/quote]

Well, since staying at someone's house is not inherently immoral, you would have to look at the circumstances of this particular stay. What are the ages of the people involved? If minors, will parents be present? Will immoral activity be taking place at this house? Underage drinking? Boyfriends/girlfriends sleeping together? Drugs?

If something immoral will be happening, you should absent yourself from the situation.

If it's simply several people all staying at a house, with appropriate modesty and sleeping arrangements, no there isn't anything wrong with it.

[quote="live4life, post:1, topic:220323"]
I know it would definitely be wrong if we were to stay in the same room, but what about if we are all in separate rooms?

[/quote]

How old are you? Do you tend towards scrupulosity?

Why do you think it would be wrong simply to stay in a home with someone who is of the opposite sex when others are also present? Is there more to the story?


#5

ok cheers that makes sense so far.

I just wanted to have a clearer understanding of the whole situation.

I think as well, if any of us did start going out as boyfriend and girlfriend, i don't think it would be right to sleep over at peoples houses together (unless of course it was completely necessary), even if it was separate bedrooms, for it's still a bit risky i think.

So yea how would u go from being fine with it to all of a sudden, now that there are feelings, not doing it???

We are all 18+ but yea...not sure....


#6

I disagree with the previous posters. I think it is not a good idea in general. I think it should be avoided, just as I think that unrelated opposite sex roommates/housemates should be avoided, and I don't think scrupulosity has anything to do with it.


#7

I disagree with the previous posters. I think it is not a good idea in general. I think it should be avoided, just as I think that unrelated opposite sex roommates/housemates should be avoided...

i agree.

under specific circumstances it makes sense i.e., you were all travelling, many miles from home, lodging under one friend's roof with certain restrictions in place.

but for a casual sleepover? i think it's unnecessary and a bad idea.

(per scimitar: your post isn't funny even with the ROTFLMAO smilies. sense the ennui?)


#8

[quote="live4life, post:5, topic:220323"]
So yea how would u go from being fine with it to all of a sudden, now that there are feelings, not doing it???
.

[/quote]

With honesty 'now that we are an official couple I think this is a temptation of sin and I no longer wish to do it'

Anyone who can not comprehend that is not worth committing to

CM


#9

Thanks! I was opting more to this point of view, i suppose I just wanted confirmation... :)


#10

I have two boys, aged 10 and 7, and do not allow sleep overs with girls, unless it is a family member (first cousins- so I know that they are under the watchful eyes of my dear sister in law). Not that I think that anything bad will happen, but I just think that it is a good idea to set an example of what is acceptable behavior now, while they are young, instead of waiting until they are teens.

To the OP- I commend you on believing that this is not a good idea. It is always best to avoid tempting situations before they become a problem. ;)


#11

[quote="cmscms, post:8, topic:220323"]
With honesty 'now that we are an official couple I think this is a temptation of sin and I no longer wish to do it'

Anyone who can not comprehend that is not worth committing to

CM

[/quote]

The situation could very well become an occasion of sin long before they are an official couple, especially if it turns out there are feelings from one or two sides that they may not have expressed but are there nevertheless. There are many reasons to avoid this type of situation, but the possibility of non-verbalized attraction among friends is one.


#12

I wonder what people think of having opposite-sex, non-romantic partner roommates?


#13

[quote="spunjalebi, post:12, topic:220323"]
I wonder what people think of having opposite-sex, non-romantic partner roommates?

[/quote]

There are a lot of people who subscribe to the "Harry Met Sally" principle: That a man and a woman can not be platonic friends.

Of course, there are lots of people on the other side who say that it is totally possible. Opinions on that are, well, just opinions.

I myself don't think it's a great idea for single men and women to room together because I do think that after time, things can get too intimate, modesty can become lax, etc. From the Catholic point of view, I think there are concerns about causing scandal and near occasions of sin.

Getting back to the OP, I think young people/teenagers should be careful with the co-ed sleepovers. If there are no "chaperones" so to speak, it can definitely lead to feelings/actions that might lead to sin.


#14

[quote="StJudePray4Me, post:13, topic:220323"]
There are a lot of people who subscribe to the "Harry Met Sally" principle: That a man and a woman can not be platonic friends.

Of course, there are lots of people on the other side who say that it is totally possible. Opinions on that are, well, just opinions.

I myself don't think it's a great idea for single men and women to room together because I do think that after time, things can get too intimate, modesty can become lax, etc. From the Catholic point of view, I think there are concerns about causing scandal and near occasions of sin.

Getting back to the OP, I think young people/teenagers should be careful with the co-ed sleepovers. If there are no "chaperones" so to speak, it can definitely lead to feelings/actions that might lead to sin.

[/quote]

Sorry to digress the thread but I need to ask. What if your roommates aren't even "friends," but are simply roommates? In other words, people who you happen to live with to either split the rent to make it cheaper, or people who just so happen to live in the same place you do too?

I've had a few male roommates and none of them wanted to get into my pants, and I sure didn't want to get into their pants either. I also had no inclination to want to befriend them either.

:shrug:


#15

It depends on the circumstances – the ages of the people involved, how much of the house/apartment is shared vs. private, etc. Years ago I moved in with a male friend for a year as a house-mate (as compared to “room-mate”), for financial reasons. The guy and I each had our own bedrooms and our own private bathrooms, and we worked opposite shifts. We did hang out together sometimes, but mostly, we weren’t even home at the same time. I was nearly ten years older than he was, so nothing was going to happen romantically between us. Now, if one or the other of us were interested in more than a “buddy” relationship, it might have been awkward, but it worked out OK for us.

But there is safety in numbers. If I had college-age kids, I wouldn’t want them to live one-on-one with a member of the opposite sex. But I’d probably be OK about it if they were in a group. A young Catholic friend of mine is an undergrad student in a large city, and last year she shared a house with 3 guys and 2 other girls, all students and all were strangers when she moved in. The biggest problems arose between her and one of the other girls; the guys were no problem at all. Even so, she was glad to find a studio apartment for this year where she could live alone and not have to share the bathroom with 5 other people!


#16

I think as an all the time thing it should be avoided. But as another poster said if you were traveling a long distance as PART OF A GROUP and there were seperate groups that would be diffferent. I think it comes down to intent. You need to be very careful with how it looks and scandal and it really should be avoided if it can be.


#17

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