Sleeping with a married man who claims one minute he separated and then trying again with his wife

this is not me its my friend. We all go to church and she is baptized and I am not judging her. She went through an awful divorce but a few times now this man she met on a website has been around they slept together. She is saved but how I know what she is doing is wrong. I am not judging because we all sin differently. The thing that is disturbing me is that he is married and he still lives with his wife. She said he can not be that happy but still this is a marriage and she is defiling the marriage bed whilst sitting in church. I know Jesus died on the cross for our sin and grace is a free gift but still this is so morally wrong. and my other friend said we must pray for her but she is saved anyway because she accepted Jesus in her heart. I am sure there are plenty of passages in the Bible that clearly state we are not saved if continue to sin purposely.

I want to explain to her what she is doing is not very Christian in the best possible way. I am not without in but I am not putting myself in these situations and feel I am striving better spiritually.

It is not judging when we calmly tell a person that what they are doing is wrong in the sight of God, and is detrimental to their salvation.

It is judging when we decide we can tell a person they are going to hell. It is also judging when we think we understand the motives why people do what they do. Jesus asks us to correct others, for love of Him and for the salvation of the person.

If they heed what you tell them that is great. If they do not listen and want to stay in their sin, it is not your fault.
But, you would have done the right thing by telling them they are in sin.

Saying you’re not judging doesnt mean your aren’t. That said, pointing out one’s sin so to help them overcome it is important and reflects a truer love than “not judging”

We all know it’s wrong, both because of the adultery and because they are unwed. But, if, as you judge, she’s saved, why does it matter? If her soul’s not at stake, God wouldn’t care.

Of course, that’s not the case and hopefully this situation will help you understand that we are not “saved” until we die and what we do now matters.

As for your friend, confront her, explain your feelings. If she refuses to end it, pray for her and maybe find new friends.

We are told to correct our brothers and sisters when we know they are sinning and obviously your friend is sinning. We are to be kind with our words and try several times to help them understand the situation. But, if it doesn’t change we are to be civil but separate ourselves from these situations. Matthew. 18: 15-20.

Accepting Jesus into our heart does not give us a free pass to commit whatever grave sins (and adultery is a grave sin) we feel like and not have to endure any consequences. Salvation does not work that way.

She needs to repent and return to the One whom she says she accepts.

Here’s the simple thing that dippy cheater types do not seem to understand. If a woman is seeing a married man, ie, a man who cheats on his wife, how can she expect he will be faithful to her. Oh well she is probably “in love” which is more often a symptom of codependency where 2 sick egos vainly seek completion in each other.

Since this is a Catholic forum:

No, your friend is not saved, rather her soul is in great danger! Catholics do not believe in the heresy of declaring one’s self to be “Saved”. The salvation of Jesus Christ is granted by Him for both faith and good works. When your friend sleeps with a married man she is committing a moral sin against God and her soul is in danger of going to Hell for eternity. If you truly are a good friend to her then you will tell her that she must repent and confess her sins and pray for forgiveness.


It is a damnable lie straight from the pit of Hell that we “aren’t allowed to judge” sin as sin.


Sin IS sin. If it were an offense against God to judge sin, then pretty much all of the New Testament would instantly be deemed ungodly. The Gospels told us the life of Christ, and much of His ministry was simply telling us how to live. The bulk of St. Paul’s epistles were addressing sins being committed by the various communities. The book of Revelation is calling out the sin of other communities.

There is a remarkable difference between judging sin for what it is and judging the sinner for who they are. Who your friend is, regardless of her sin, is a woman made in the image and likeness of our loving God. She is someone whom He saw fit to still the Universe to take a moment to create her. She is loved beyond comprehension. Her sin does not negate ANY of this. What it does negate is her closeness to this Maker of ours. If she does not see how detrimental her ways are, please help her to. Most of 1 Corinthians regards sexual immorality and its consequences on both of temporal and eternal lives. Maybe give it a read and bring it to her also.

Doing Christ’s work is hard, and this is a part of it.


It sounds like she is trying to fill an empty place in her heart with something that will only leave her in more pain… a “broken cistern” that won’t hold water. When you talk with her, perhaps it would open her heart if you gently asked some questions… “where do you think this will lead?” “how does this correspond with your faith walk?” Nathan’s confrontation with David is a beautiful example of using an illustration to help someone come to their senses for themselves, of course, through the work of the Holy Spirit. Just some ideas.

But if she’s saved, why does it matter?


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