So called friends!


#1

This morning I called two of my so called friends to say good-by to them and said that our friendship was over and that I would never call them again.

The main reason I terminated the friendships is because they treated me with disrespect recently and were mean to me on purpose. It totally hurt my feelings and I told them so but they just made it look that it wasn’t their fault. They gave me lame excuses with holes in them.
I released them with love and sent them on their way without my friendship. I have had my feelings hurt many times but I am too forgiving and I kept being their friend until this week when they finally hurt my feelings soooo bad that I chose to let go of them. I feel good that I finally let go of them.
Looking back at the friendships I can see that it was me that gave them more than they gave to me friendship wise. I used to entertain them with jokes and made them laugh. I was kind to them and gave them advise with their problems.

There comes a time in a person’s life when it is time to move on to meet new friends. I am now looking foreward to meeting new friends. I have asked God to please send me some new nice friends that are compatiable with me.
I am just venting and saying I feel good that I finally let go of them and should have done it a long time ago. But I guess I wasn’t ready. Luci


#2

:hug1: Hey Luci, just wanted to send some hugs your way. I know that it must have been hard to go through that. I’ve been there too. It’s difficult but necessary to let people go that aren’t really your true friends. It only causes stress and bad feelings that aren’t healthy. I would definitely pray for these two individuals and you will see that God will also send some new friends your way.


#3

Alexa, thank you for your kind words. You are right that I should pray for them. I wish them to move on in their lives with their own happiness and I also wish them good things.
I finnally realized how phoney they were with me and how disrespectful they were with me. I guess this is why they don’t have much luck in finding friends. They had told me they didn’t have friends and wondered why. They are clueless. Sometimes it is hard for people to change. But, I am so glad that I chose to let them go once and for all because for many years I would get my feelings hurt and not say nothing. Then they would call me and I would forgive them in my heart.
Presently I am not angry with them. I am just hurt but time will pass and I will forget them.
I have other friends to hang out with and to talk with presently. God bless you, Luci


#4

When I was younger I went through a similar experience.** 3 of us girls were friends and they would talk about me behind my back and of course I caught wind of it.** I lost touch w/ them and haven’t looked back.** :thumbsup: *
My mom actually ran into one of the girl’s moms about 2 weeks ago for the first time in years and evidentally her daughter and the 3rd girl are still friends.** But they were not very nice girls, always trying to outdo eachother and thought my family was looney for having had soooo many kids.** I found out years later that they even started some horrible rumors about me that weren’t true at all and I was hurt but I let it roll off my back because obviously they have not much to do or talk about if they can make up rumors about someone that they hadn’t seen in like 10 years :rolleyes: :frowning: :shrug:

If I were you, I’d pray for them, pray too that they don’t treat another human being like they have treated you;)


#5

I was a victim of nastiness from a couple of people and decided to treat them with silence.What i mean by that is to distance yourself from them,but not to descend to their level.If they are fellow workers,you will probably have to deal with them at some time.Give them nothing more than civility.If they have unintentionally offended you,they will come to you without any guilty expressions on their face.If they are guilty,they will probably steer clear.


#6

Yes there does, and I feel for you, my so-called friend of 30 something years found something better to do.

He was seeing my sister for years off and on behind every-one’s back, then his wife died 2 years ago and he and my sis amazingly to every-one’s surprise except me are now an item.

It wasn’t the fact of him being with my sis that annoyed me, but the fact that I had to listen to his children complaining that they couldn’t have private time with their father to grieve for their mother because of my interfering sister.

So I told him my feelings before Christmas, plus I decided if he thought more of my sis than his children then he wasn’t the person I thought he was.

I know how his children feel, when my mother died in 77 it was a shock to see a lady call to my house to do the cleaning etc; so I had words with my father and she had to go. (no-one was replacing my mum)

I did my own cleaning and cooking for my younger brothers and sisters, ( no she wasn’t my fathers new-woman) that was her job, (home help) as we call it.

Anyway in conclusion I found out the hard way he wasn’t the person I thought he was, should have read the signs better.

It was all "what am I going to do when my wife dies " no word about his sick wife, or very little sympathy.

So I’m better off without him and my sis, and it will never be the same again, they have caused a lot of hurt and they and I will go our separate ways.

I know my place.


#7

Luci, I don’t know how old you are, but you sound on the young-ish side. When I was in my mid-20s I cut off communication with an old friend by not giving her my new contact info when I moved. She was not unkind to me; we just had very different philosophies of life, and I saw that I constantly felt pressured to move away from my faith and my values.

Some personalities and values are just not a good match. Try not to leave these friendships with judgment. Just walk away knowing that you all don’t get along and that doesn’t make a good friendship. Also know that people seldom remain the same year after year after year. In other words, everyone changes, thanks be to God :thumbsup:

God bless you with spiritual friends.

Gertie


#8

Luci,
You did the right thing. Years ago, I too was the one who provided entertainment (fun and jokes) to support. I was there for everything for her, babysitting, shopping when she broke her leg, so many things. But when I needed her when I lost my MIL(we were close) and sister in less then one month she was not only non-supportive, but rude in her remarks “I wish is was my MIL, what the heck you crying about she was old anyway” my sister was the topper “Well, what did you expect she was fat and never took care of herself” (she was 40). Although I went to funerals for many of her family memebers, she refused to come to either, stating she really didn’t know them anyway.:rolleyes: she didn’t even send a simple card let alone a Mass Card.
I have not spoken to her since, I simply told her I just never called again, that was the summer of 03.
come to think of it I had to always do the calling:rolleyes:
My best to you:console: There are good people out there;)


#9

Real friends can hurt you too. Sometimes people can hurt you only because they’re friends. The matter itself wouldn’t hurt you - just that the friends did it. If one doesn’t forgive, one will not have friends - I think. And sometimes friends can hurt one a lot by accident. Or in a moment of weakness. Our Lord forgave St Peter. Now this isn’t to say one has to stay friends with everyone, but isolated instances, or things which don’t really matter that very much, had better not stand in the way of friendship.


#10

Hi Luci, I went through something similar myself, during my final two years at school the group of friends that I had known for years previously became increasingly ‘toxic’. It wasn’t just one big thing, just a culmination of lots of little incidents of ignorant, spiteful behaviour - while acting like they were better than me because they had boyfriends and I was single, they went out drinking and I didn’t etc.

I just want to say that you did the right thing - if the friendship is persistently bad, it can do a lot of harm to you, you feel unconfident and unhappy… so well done for letting them go, now forget all about them and focus on good friends and good things in your life!! :slight_smile:


#11

Hi everybody. I had to buy me a new computer so this is why I am responding late. I just want to say that for many years I have been too forgiving just to keep my friendships. I am now learning that I can stand on my own two feet and not depend on friends.

It is true that sometimes friends slip up and are not considerate but when they keep being mean and disrespectful that is the time for me to let go. I plan to do that from now on when I start to see a pattern of disrespect or consideration.

I am a forgiving person but I don’t need to keep on being stepped on over and over by so-called friends. “WHEW” I am so glad that I fianally let go of them. I release them with love. Luci


#12

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