so confused

about two months ago i realized that I’d become addicted to porn. I’ve never seen a problem with it and never understood why it was wrong. I actually wrote a persuasive essay about how it wasn’t wrong. but after letting a friend read my essay, and talking about it. I’ve changed my mind. and I’m fighting the addiction. the occasions where I’ve gone back and looked at porn, for a minute, I revert to not seeing it as bad. but after I feel guilty. I am so confused about this. :confused:

I am not an expert on moral theology, but I am a catholic and if you are too, I would think you should think that it is wrong to look at porn. Are you saying that you see how it is wrong now? Or, do you still think it is OK? The addiction itself is a sin, because any addiction is a sin… too much of anything is bad. If you feel guilty about looking at porn, than you know it is not right. I hope you can overcome it. Try keeping busy by doing good things, like reading about your faith in God, exercising, working, doing things for people, volunteering, etc… , and day by day I am sure you will get a lot better. Pray to God for him to help you in this. Good luck and I hope I helped!!

I’m thinking there’s a reason you feel guilty, and you already know what it is. My view on porn is that it degrades women and defiles the beauty of making love with your spouse. It undermines the values of marriage and leaves young people with unrealistic expectations. It turns women (women just like your mother, sister, daughter) into playthings for perverts. Church or no church, if you’re not comfortable with the idea of a woman you value working in the industry, maybe it’s an industry you shouldn’t support. Would you be comfortable telling your friends your mom was a porn star? Just my two cents.

Human beings always justify their behaviour, we don’t ever want to think that we have done the wrong thing.

Theives will say it’s not their fault that a house gets robbed, it’s the owners fault for leaving their house with such bad security. At Nuremburg when they interviewed the Nazis, no one said I did the wrong thing, they made up excuses like I was just following orders of they’re not human, or if I didn’t do it someone else will.

When we commit sin we try and justify it, we say there’s nothing wrong with it, but afterwards we might see that it is bad. People don’t realise how bad a sin is when they are doing it. With porn people might say there’s nothing wrong with it when they look at it, but then their attitude might change when they no longer look at it. This is the only way we can make a clear judgement.

The only thing attractive about evil is the good in it. Satan cannot create anything attractive in itself, so he has to distort goodness, in order for us to abandon God.

I’ve spent far too much time in my life addicted to pornography, and I am recovering from those scars. The reason it “feels acceptable” in the moment is because you are attracted to the goodness in it – the beauty of the human body, which is one of the most wonderful things God created. But porn distorts that beauty, because porn puts the body on sale. Pornography distorts our thinking, so that we think about the body as an object, not a subject.

Sexuality is about pure subjectivity, knowing as you are known. If you watch porn, you cannot meet a human being you are attracted to in a purely subjective way, because you (by instinct) constantly objectify her. Love and physical attraction nourish the soul; lust destroys it.

Excellent post. All humans are a body/soul unity. Porn removes the soul and just uses the body. It really is no different than a master abusing his slave. The master only wishes to use his slave for labor never considering the slave’s feelings or interior self. Pornography is destructive to all those involved and we need to pray for those in the porn industry. They live in a superficial world that must be incredibly sad…teachccd

Do you have a family member that you love dearly? Would you like that person to be viewed as the object of disgusting lust by people who could care less about that person other than what sexual gratification that person can give them? Porn is degrading to all humans and really shows our willingness to minimize our fellow human beings to objects of gratification. Addiction is difficult, as anyone will admit, but it can be overcome with prayer and guidance. There is NOTHING good with porn. We actually lose our sense of freedom when we think that we are the “masters” of our “slaves”…You are in my prayers…teachccd

I’ve actually been doing much better the last month, and the last time I looked I discovered it didn’t make me feel the same way it did before. so that’s definitely a step in the right direction. :thumbsup:

How come porn degrades women, but not men, I have seen porn, seems to me them women love what is being done to them, or they wouldnt be in that business. Understand, I am not in favor of porn, especially for the underage. Unfortunately porn isn`t going away, there are too many men with prurient interest who keep it going

The sinful nature of man is attracted to porn like a duck takes to water. So what you are experiencing in mind and body is not unnatural whatsoever. However, as children of God we are called to invite Christ to live his life through us. It is only by the power of God living within is that we can avoid this stuff. Will we stumble from time to time? Many of us will.

It’s my personal belief that porn distorts our thoughts and shapes our attitudes toward women in a very negative way. Most pornography these days doesn’t even look like romantic physical love making at all… instead, most of it is very degrading and downright gross. A lot of it is so gross that it doesn’t even inspire lustful thoughts! How that for a paradox?

Pray about this and give your struggle to God. He will help you and you’ll be a better man for it.


Maybe it is degrading to men. I’m not a man, so I don’t know how it makes them feel. I don’t think most of the women love what is being done to them though, and that’s what I want to address about your post. Women in the trade are often victims of childhood abuse and have serious personal and interpersonal issues. Some are addicts who have sold themselves to feed their addictions. There are a lot of wrong reasons women work the sex trade (including strippers, hookers, and porn stars), but I doubt many are there because they like it.

Thinking that women like that kind of sex is exactly what I meant by porn giving people false expectations. I know of one guy who watched a lot of porn before ever having a girlfriend, and boy oh boy, was he ever surprised when he actually started putting the moves on girls!

The most degrading moments in a Christian man’s life are those immediately following a porn viewing session. Immediately following the “release” christian men can actually feel their dignity being “released” as well. For many, this is the single biggest struggle in our moral life.

I agree, for Christian men, but I dont think there are that many men who give it a thought. They watch it, they love it & their collection of it grows

I would recommend finding a few more productive things to occupy your time. That probably sounds facetious or ill-spirited, but it’s not. (Blame that on the lack of visual and audio.:rolleyes:)

Here’s a personal example. This summer, I wasn’t able to get a job:shrug:, so I tried to fill my time with summer classes. I knew that if I didn’t spend my time productively, I would either twiddle my thumbs or do something questionable. However, those classes were extremely easy, and I STILL had spare time on my hands.

And you know what they say about idle hands. I did revert to a couple of old habits, some of which I disdain. Things could have been worse, and I was able to keep myself in check. However, I know I can do better.

The best way to keep the porn off of your mind is to fill your time with other productive activities. You won’t have as much leisure time to spend on it. School/full-time jobs are great time-fillers. I can’t wait for fall semester!

I always thought about women in porn films being degraded, but I didn’t consider how it effects men.

As a man I find it degrading. I have a background in councelling and I see a lot of women becoming fearful that all men are after (sometimes only after) sex in a relationship. It shows men as having one thing one their mind. As it was pointed out there is no love in these films, it gives the impression that men can’t love just lust. It shows that men can’t form propper relationships. Thinking about this I think men are certinally victims of the porn industry.

I’ll be going back to school in a few days, and I have a full schedule. plus I need a job. so I’ll have lots to fill my time. One of the biggest problems for me, is that everywhere I look for advice on how to overcome this, I see suggestions for men on how to fight their addiction. but I’m a girl. I haven’t found any advice on how I should fight this.

Hm…okay then. I’m going to throw out a REALLY random suggestion, and I hope it makes sense.

Study up a bit on God and fundamental questions about Him, like…

  1. Does God exist? What are the proofs for His existence?
  2. What can we say about His nature?
  3. What does He want for us to do? (Like what is good, right, etc.)
  4. When I hear about Christianity, I hear all this talk about “love”. What is it?

One site that might help you with question #4 is the Pure Love Club. Their site is:

Of course, do the stuff I suggested before, too. I know this is all random, especially #4. It’s all thought-provoking and philosophical, too. I just thought that, by pursuing answers, you might learn a couple new things and become less acclimated to pursue old behaviors. Perhaps that’s a good way to fight the addiction?

Your probably right, the men are probably victims too. The sex industry is ruthless

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