So how can you tell if a girl likes you?


#1

I spend a few days with a girl I already knew, and we were forced to have a lot of time together. We would laugh a lot, talk a lot and shared personal and faith related stories. We just had a wonderful time and became very close (in a purely personal and spiritual manner, nothing physical). Sometimes we would look each other in the eyes and I felt we definitely had a 'click'.

This encouraged me to tell her a few days later that I was beginning to develop feelings for her, and I had good hopes that she was experiencing the same since I thought that our time together was pretty special and that she would feel the same way about it. But she said she was pretty shocked and told me that this was just 'friendship' for her. Now, she is not the type to flirt just for the attention, so I guess I was misjudging the situation and putting too much meaning to the things we had together.

This has happend to me once before.

Now I am wondering if this type of hanging out together to a girl is much more normal than it is for me. And that makes me wonder how I'll ever find out when a girl really likes me and is interested in more than friendship.


#2

[quote="LongJohnSilver, post:1, topic:208553"]
Now I am wondering if this type of hanging out together to a girl is much more normal than it is for me. And that makes me wonder how I'll ever find out when a girl really likes me and is interested in more than friendship.

[/quote]

You will find out when you ask.

:thumbsup:


#3

In my opinion, you should approach any girl as a friend first. It solves the complications of wondering about mutual romantic feelings, expected behaviors and norms for girlfriend/boyfriend, and makes both of your actions more authentic. It's way too easy to end up acting a certain way that is not your normal self just because you're infatuated.

So don't concern yourself over whether she likes you romantically. If she's an interesting person, she's an interesting person. Be friends. If there's romance there, it will develop over time. And by then you'll both know and understand each others' feelings better.


#4

You ask like you did, its the only sure way and even then its not 100% actually.


#5

Ask her!

Girls sit around and look for signs. Guys should have the (mm-mm) to ask.


#6

Is that why you won’t answer my calls Purple?! Because I didn’t ask you if you where in love with me?

Oh the horror!


#7

I will tell you a little story, I am sure you will find it amusing. My dh and I met on a service retreat through Church. We ignored each other for most of the week but really "clicked" at the end of the week. Well on the ride home he asked if I wanted to go to a baseball game, I was pretty naive, but I kind of took this as being asked out. Well being young and knowing my parents were pretty anti-dating for me who was under 17, I said I didn't think I would be able to go. Well dh asked if he could stop over at my house with pictures from the trip. I was like "sure" thinking- I could always use another friend. So he came over spent the entire afternoon and dinner with my family (which let me tell you is crazy). :p

Anyways my MOTHER had to tell me that this boy liked me. (and yes I will never live this down). Yes I was 17 and yes I was naive and sheltered, but I had several guy friends in the past who I never had this "problem" with. (and continued to have a few guy friends, I just let them know from the start that I was taken). So perseverance worked for my dh, and he "caught" me in the end. (Of course it helped that he didn't see my original rejections as rejections). :p

So sometimes us girls don't even know when we like a guy. :D


#8

[quote="LongJohnSilver, post:1, topic:208553"]
I spend a few days with a girl I already knew, and we were forced to have a lot of time together. We would laugh a lot, talk a lot and shared personal and faith related stories. We just had a wonderful time and became very close (in a purely personal and spiritual manner, nothing physical). Sounds like you two were on the road to becoming true friends, not acquaintances. Sometimes we would look each other in the eyes and I felt we definitely had a 'click'.

This encouraged me to tell her a few days later that I was beginning to develop feelings for her, and I had good hopes that she was experiencing the same since I thought that our time together was pretty special and that she would feel the same way about it.Okay, whoa! Slow down here. After a few days you told her you had feelings for her? Perhaps you should have kept that to yourself for a while longer... But she said she was pretty shocked and told me that this was just 'friendship' for her.This may not be what you wanted to hear from her, but I'm sure that she probably was not thinking along the same lines as you were and WAS shocked by your words. Now, she is not the type to flirt just for the attention, so I guess I was misjudging the situation and putting too much meaning to the things we had together. It sounds to me like this may be the case. You have to learn that friendship is a very important part of a relationship and that for some people that is going to take a longer amount of time than a couple of days. (Yes, I know it happens for some people more quickly, but not for all. )

This has happend to me once before. And again, it may have been too much too soon for that girl too. A lot of times, the girl is the one that is "waiting around" for the guy to realize that she wants more than friendship, so for you to be the one to want more so early in the friendship may be putting these girls off. Perhaps they don't feel they know you enough for you to be announcing your feelings of "more than friends." Just slow down.

Now I am wondering if this type of hanging out together to a girl is much more normal than it is for me. I think that it is. I don't know if these are the only experiences you have had with girls like this, but these days, lots of girls like having guys for friends and nothing more. It may be difficult for you to judge the difference now if you are not used to it, but over time you will begin to know when it is more. Be patient. You sound kind of young. And that makes me wonder how I'll ever find out when a girl really likes me and is interested in more than friendship. You will know . You will know because she will be the one that lets you know. Not saying that girls need to make the first move, only that in your case, that may be what should happen. And then someday, you will be able to know for yourself if she is interested.

[/quote]

May God bless you and guide you.


#9

[quote="Rascalking, post:6, topic:208553"]
Is that why you won't answer my calls Purple?! Because I didn't ask you if you where in love with me?

Oh the horror!

[/quote]

LOL!!! Rascal! you have never once called me. :p And guys needn't ask girls their feelings right off, but rather if they would like to go out....so a girl can properly make up her mind.


#10

Women are all about making connections. They are wired to develop friendships. It's the glue that keeps the world together.

When you enter the orbit of a sweet young thing who is very nice and generous and pretty and smiles when you are around, don't always think that you have made a romantic connection. Even though the smile melts your heart, it very well could be the friendship smile that she gives everyone.

Always think friendship first. It's not a bad way to start, anyway.


#11

Thank you all for your reactions, they are really insightful. I realize I am probably too sensitive to a girl's attention and warm smile, exactly as some of you say, maybe due to experiences in the past. Thanks again, I really feel like my perspective on the situation has been changed for the better. I'll try to put my energy into maintaining the friendship and don't rush anything. I do hope though, that a girl will let me know if she is interested in more, because I am hesitant to make this mistake again.


#12

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