So I get enough courage to ask her out .........and.......she's busy

Give her the benefit of the doubt and try one more time. Call her no later than Tuesday for a Saturday date. It shows her that you are very interested and respectful of her time. If you know her fairly well try to figure out what she would like to do. Dinner out or some casual date or activity where you interact and talk to each other is good. No movies because you can’t talk. If you barely know her than a meet up at a coffee shop is a relaxing low pressure first date. Always pay for everthing! If she says no this time then be a gentleman and just move on to the next lucky lady. Good luck.

I’m just letting her know I’m interested when we meet with friends. I’ll be asking her again

So lets get this straight you ask her a few days before Christmas and wonder if she’s really busy :banghead::whistle::whistle: I would wait a few weeks for the holiday rush to be over and try again. If she puts you off again then I would consider it a good guess she’s not interested.

It could go either way.

Years ago there was a girl at work I asked out to lunch. She said no. This went on three or four times over the course of a few months, and became a friendly joke between us.

Finally she approached me and asked me! Unfortunately…by then I was dating someone else. Who also worked there.

We went to lunch.

My girlfriend found out.




My rule is never ask more than twice. Sometimes depending on the attitude I get with the first time, I won’t try again. A woman who really is interested in meeting you but can’t make your initial day/time should be offering you an alternative or at least coming close to that. If she makes no hint toward an alternative, I often take that as my cue to exit stage left the first time around. But if she hints around about being less busy, feel free to wait until then to try again. Then that is it, if she’s not going with you, then she’s not interested, you have to move on. In rare cases, she might get back to you. But you should never sit around waiting for that.

That is a good point. If a woman is interested but busy she would probably say “gee, I have 50 cousins in town for the Holidays and I just cant make time. Can we do somthing in January or after things settle down?”

But no alternative probably means she is not interested. What I wonder about is the OPs sense of not understanding “women” It really is not that hard.

Oh, wow. You’ve got to write a book on this. It’ll be a bestseller in no time and you’ll be set for life. :smiley:

Chapter 1. Don’t be the guy that reads a book about how women work…:smiley:

But seriously. Women are logical human beings. They are not some other worldly creature that is shaded in mystery. They are our mothers, sisters, wives and friends. :shrug: The sooner someone understands this in life, the more confidence and success they will have with attracting a mate.

They’re just logically different. That’s a feature, by the way, not a bug. :wink:

No, “they” are not logically different. :rolleyes:

That is pretty sexist.

My wife is a strait up logical scientist. She is a leader in her field. Her logic is not “different” than her colleagues. Viewing women as a separate creature that is either sub-human or supra-human shows either a misogynistic view or an uneducated one about women. Can hormone levels be different? Sure. But then again I have known some pretty weird males in my time…

That’s pretty funny. And true.

Well she is not saying yes and she is not saying no so until I get a no I will have to think I’m still a chance.

And it may not be that hard understanding women, it just takes me a while to figure it out.

I don’t want to go there.

You get one more free pass before crossing into creepy. If you’re going to use it, make it count. If that doesn’t work, it’s her turn.

If it’s no, you may not get an actual hard no, but if it’s a real yes, you’ll get a yes.

She knows I’m not creepy, I see her every week when we get together with friends I know her Mom and Dad very well. I sensed her Mom was different with me at mass on Sunday (if you know what I mean) so obviously they’ve been talking.

I’ll ask her again when the opportunity arises then yes, the ball is in her court.

Relax; you’re doing just fine. There was nothing wrong with your original timing and nothing wrong with how you are handling things now.

some reassurance tha’ts what I need . Thank you bless you :signofcross::hug3:

You sound really sweet. Good luck! I am cheering for you.

It’s really not all that difficult.

Women want two things from you - your undivided attention, and a a secure sense that they are safe when you’re around.

Apart from that, women are individuals with different personalities, different ideas, and different interests, just like men - which is why you need to pay attention and notice what she does, or likes, or thinks, and not just assume that merely because she’s a woman, she has to do, like, or think this or that.

Wow, you and Hoosier Daddy do need to write a book!

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